naughty child not getting any presents for christmas?

aliadds

Atwitsend I don't think you're being mean. I understand the despair of having a naughty child and not knowing what to do to help them and improve their behaviour. I found that people were all to willing to tell me how naughty my son had been, but no one was able to tell me how to resolve the problem. I truly felt like a dreadful parent but today I realise that if that had been the case both sons' would have been badly behaved and not just one. Today they are 20 and 22 and the older one still causes me much heartache, while the younger one is totally different. Nowadays though I realise that its not due to my 'inadequacies' as a parent, but more to do with differences in their personalities!
Keep up the good work! xx

astonsmummy

No way would I do that to my boys no matter how naughty they were!
How old is he and what had he done, I'm guessing he's quite young, anywy at the parenting classes I went to they said punsihment is best when it's instant or as instant as can be, telling a child on Xmas day that they aint got presents cos of something they done nearly 2 weeks beforehand is a bit off

atwitsend_2

atwitsend wrote: »

My son is being punished now, I wouldn't wait over a week to punish him, cos he just wouldn't remember what he was even being punished for by then

I just wonder what it will show him when if he is naughty and then he gets stacks of expensive presents on christmas day? His teacher has told him that she has santa on the phone and that he has to be good this week, but what if he isn't good?

astonsmummy wrote: »

No way would I do that to my boys no matter how naughty they were!
How old is he and what had he done, I'm guessing he's quite young, anywy at the parenting classes I went to they said punsihment is best when it's instant or as instant as can be, telling a child on Xmas day that they aint got presents cos of something they done nearly 2 weeks beforehand is a bit off

as i replied above, he is being punished today, my point is what if he is naughty right up to christmas day.

Molly41

Stop punishing him. Start concentrating on his good behaviour however little...become positive with him. Believe me it work wonders and break free of a cycle of negativity. School needs to do that too. It would be very mean of you to take away his xmas presents from santa.

Mutter_2

atwitsend, without tralwing through your past posts, which to me is a bit nosey anyway. How old is your son in question and do you have help in the form of a partner?

I am guessing six or below?

Mutter_2

Molly41 wrote: »

Stop punishing him. Start concentrating on his good behaviour however little...become positive with him. Believe me it work wonders and break free of a cycle of negativity. School needs to do that too. It would be very mean of you to take away his xmas presents from santa.

If I could thank you twice or three times Molly I would.

kate1976

Lock him in the attic/cellar/cupboard but let the poor little mite have his presents!

I agree with the rewarding good behaviour, maybe introduce a naughty step or something (the attic;)) for when he's uber bad!!!! Is this just a phase he's going through? Has something happened to upset his behaviour? Domestic upsets or bullying etc? I do hope he starts behaving soon though as I know how hard it is when struggling with a naughty kid, wait till he's a teenager!!!!

Good luck and give him his presents, if he's naughty on Christmas day then warn him you'll remove whatever his favourite thing is and then if he carries on carry out the removal!

*max*

kate1976 wrote: »

Lock him in the attic/cellar/cupboard

I am seriously hoping you're joking!!!

astonsmummy

atwitsend wrote: »

as i replied above, he is being punished today, my point is what if he is naughty right up to christmas day.

What exactly is he doing wrong?
And how old is he?

tamlem

Leave Christmas out of it, you need to deal with things on a day to day immediate basis and work on loads of positive things too. Which I am sure you are.

Also, this is a small but VERY important point. Please can we stop calling this child a naughty boy. He is a little boy who has done naughty things. When you discipline your child and tell them that they have done something naughty it makes a world of difference from personalising them as being the naughty boy/girl.

Not just a matter of semantics imho.