naughty child not getting any presents for christmas?

Money_maker

I wouldn't even mention the santa/naughty kids part at all. After all, we have Father Christmas - he's a big, jolly man who delivers presents at Christmas. Who says he has lists/naughty/nice rubbish?

I would be more concerned with sorting this for the sake of the OP's new arrival thats due in a few weeks - that may well unsettle him further.

When he's being a 'good' boy, any chance of speaking to him. Perhaps to be so pleased he's being 'good' and finding out how the 'good' boy can stay around more often or ways of keeping the 'bad' boy away? My DS2 can get very angry at times (nothing in particular, just part of his nature) but says it helps calm him down if I hold his hand.

tandraig

dont you get it? he isnt naughty - or not deliberately! he doesnt see the world as you or I do.
dont withold his presents - but if you think he may over load then dish them out over the day.
i suggest if your son is autistic you read the autistic thread/and think seriously about leaving your son in a school that cant cope with him? I wasnt going to come back on here you annoyed me so much. but to be honest - If you arent getting the help you need - its not your fault.
now -demand the school help your son - if they say they cant cope its up to LEA to provide alternative. its NOT down to you to discipline him if they cant cope! it makes it harder for you! demand they help you! and they can hun so dont take no for answer - go on autistic thread for help

mrcow

atwitsend wrote: »

He is currently undergoing statementing as he needs to attend a specialist school (according to the teachers)

Look, I didn't come on here for amusement,i'm not an internet troll, I don't want to scar my children, I don't want to ruin christmas for them. Speaking to the teacher after school and she says 'i told him santa is on the phone and wont bring him any presents' got me thinking how many people, if any have actually done it. I didn't want any of this and am wishing I never posted in the first place.

I think it's a really good thing that you've posted. There are always going to be digressions on any thread and there are always going to be differing opinons. They are all valid in their own way, and some people get angry about situations near to their heart. But don't regret posting this thread - I think it's indicative of how desperate you feel right now and we shouldn't ignore that.

If I could, I'd give you a massive squeeze right now - as you certanly sound like you need it - it's been a while since someone's username has sounded so apt.

I understand that you are looking for ways in which to help your son keep in mind that good behaviour is what's expected and required, but in addition to that - it has to be asked - who is supporting you through all this?

If the school are just expecting you to deal with it and are hinting along the lines of exclusion already, I can't think of anything more stressful than trying to cope with that alone.

swampduck

From what I've read and tried to digest from this thread - your child is being naughty. But he may not realise this as children with autistic tendencies can exhibit extremes of behaviour and cannot relate to or understand other people or situations.
I think it is wrong that the school expects you punish him - as I'm a firm believer that waiting "till Mum gets you home" is counter-productive and he probably wouldnt have a clue why he is being punished. If the school is talking about exclusion then you can go for further help -either with the school or with other specialist advice when and if it happens.
How you deal with him at home is a different matter - you lay the ground rules and stick with them - reinforce them when necessary. If this means sending him to bed having had his tea - but with no television programmes then fair enough.
Taking away privileges or toys (even if you have to empty his room of toys temporarily and then reinstate them one at a time) is what tends to get through better than threatening him with no presents from Santa. Perhaps even let him choose which toy he wants back to reinforce the point that good behaviour brings rewards.

Hang in there! You're the adult and you're in charge! He can and will learn that it is your way or no way!!

Swampy

StressedOutx

Where is this boys father and what support is he providing in this situation?

lauhen

Hi there,

Are you getting help with your son, my son is 3, and is showing some signs of ADHD, he is late in speech development but this is improving and he starts speech therapy in February, the ball started rolling once he started playschool and with the help of health visitor, I took control of situation and got health visitor to come to me, we have seen a peadiatrician also, we have agreed to put education support in place should he need it when he starts school and he will get extra support at playschool, he is such a lovely little boy, but it can be hard. Do you have this type of support, my local school is very good. They are also putting me in touch with an outreach worker if we are struggling, and there is a childrens centre wherei could attend if I need to. I am in Essex, are you nearby, I could let you know the names etc.

lauhen

If you need someone to pm then feel free.

mountainofdebt

I won't go into the circumstances but for one Christmas our son thought Santa had forgotten him.

Needless to say his quivering lips said it all.

So no I couldn't let a small child wake up to no presents on Christmas morning.

lolababy

I think that we all need to step back and see how the op is feeling. Now you have opened up regarding the situation . Im sure you are under a great deal of pressure and having the school on your back must make you feel like a bad parent.
If you go to the disability and dosh forum you will find other parents with children who are autistic/adhd. Nobody is a perfect parent and I am sure many would crack under the strain that a child with autism/ adhd brings.

Spirit_2

atwitsend wrote: »

My son has been naughty for the last few days, and today had a very VERY bad day at school. I am so angry at him for his behaviour, I have told him that santa is watching etc, which got me thinking, I dont do empty threats, i always follow punishments through to the end.....but is him not getting any christmas presents mean of me?
Has anyone ever not given their child any presents to prove a point?

I haven't read the whole thread - but just wanted to say how awful I think this action would be. The only point this would prove is that the perpetrator had a bullying, spiteful , vindictive streak. There is at least two weeks between the 'naughtiness' and Christmas how long can you bear a grudge against your own child?

I am sure you would not have posted if you felt this was right - find another way of getting your message across.

Earlier this year two young members of my family died togther in a dreadful accident I am sure that as active boys they gave their mum things to get cross about too. If only there was more to come. Get a sense of proportion life is too short to spend it fantasising about cruel and unusual consequences for children to learn lessons by.