AM, I, in the wrong??

nuttybabe

Hi

I can sort of see both sides. I think in this instance you probably should have mentioned to the parent especially as he was sat next to her.

BUT, on the other hand, every single day i have to ask a child in ds's school to stop hitting my son. They just go up to him and hit him for no reason (they do this to other kids as well). The mum does nothing and just stands there and I gave her ample opportunity to stop her child before I spoke to them!!! And she is stood next to me when I do and still wont say anything!

Maybe when you go next you should speak to the parent and find out if there is a problem that has made their child treat yours like this.

mrcow

For crying out loud.

You start a thread detailing how you've possibly traumatised a five year old and spat your dummy out at her Dad (possibly in front of other parents who you are going to have to face tomorrow?) and have asked for opinons - and then are completely unable to handle said opinions when every person on this thread has said that you were in the wrong to whatever extent.

I don't care whether you "need" sympathy or not, I am sorry to hear about your sister.

But what you also need to do is wind your neck in and start to think about how yu are going to face everyone tomorrow after your behaviour at the weekend. "Flying" at another parent over a dance show is a complete over reaction.

Don't have a go at 5 year old children that don't belong to you.
Don't shout at other parents over trivial incidents.

Teach your children to not mind about the little things - this won't be the last incident like this. If she goes to school - then she'll already be learning this.

*max*

I wouldn't even have said anything to the dad, tbh! Kids can be nasty to each other one minute, and best mates the next - or not! Your daughter will come accross people who are not very nice or even actively dislike her, and she won't have you to fight her battles for her. Simply explain to her that you can't always be friends with everyone, although you should always remain polite about it; the other girl's behaviour was wrong, and maybe she should stop trying to make friends with her as it's obviously not being reciprocated. It happens.
That little girl certainly didn't deserve a grilling from a complete stranger in front of her dad though!

belfastgirl23

I think you did over-react but there were extenuating circumstances. In your shoes, I'd take a deep breath and go in and apologise and explain you're under a lot of pressure and it really upset you to see your daughter left out in the dance. And ask the teacher to see if she can figure out what's going on with the other little girl.

The other thing though is that your reaction will have coloured how your daughter reacts to this type of situation. She will definitely see it as a big deal because you did. I often think in these situations, it's best to take the approach that you take if a toddler falls down, ie to distract them a little rather than necessarily getting into how awful it all is. This is something alas that we all have to deal with sooner or later in life and surely it's best if you give your daughter the ability to shrug it off...

just my thoughts though, I can see exactly where this was coming from as your gut reaction, and I think from you post that it's not necessarily how you would have handled things if you thought about them. We've all been there!

elaine373

I think you handled the situation wrong and that may be because of the awful trauma in your life at the moment. i have done this myself in the past. Live and learn and remember they are only 5 year olds. dont take out your anger on the wrong person.Really really sorry to hear about your sister.

nikki2804

mrcow wrote: »

Yes you were in the wrong.

You don't have a go at a five year old. You're an adult. Have you any idea how intimidating that is?

At which point did the OP say she had a go at the little girl?

From the dads POV, if I seen my little girl crying and someone was talking to them I would probably jump to conclusions. On the other hand I do unfortunately have a quick temper at times.

In all fairness the dad should have spoken to you in a calm manner, and this should have been reciprocated (sp). TBH girls can be right !!!!!es (even at that age) hopefully as she gets older she will get a taste of her own medicine.

Your little girl should be praised for trying to be friends with someone that no one else appears to like. Not running with the crowd and such.

You may have been a little OTT but as stated previously I probably would have done the same.

Oh and my heart does go out to you and your sister. My partners uncle passed away last week from lung cancer - it must be hard.

mrcow

nikki2804 wrote: »

At which point did the OP say she had a go at the little girl?

When she said that she reduced her to tears.

dmg24

Tootsiepops wrote: »

do not need your sympathy

Which is the kind of rude thing that a 'nasty little girl' would say, stomping her feet at the thought of anybody daring to disagree with her.

You are clearly going through a stressful time, but you did handle this situation badly, and it appears you are continuing to do so.

peachyprice

AM, I, in the wrong??

Quite simply, yes.

Emmzi

yes, you were in the wrong.

and, being rude to people who disagree with you, is also discourteous.

good luck at next dance class, I hope you can resolve this so your daughter will be able to make friends again. I think if you modify your behaviour it may help a lot.