AM, I, in the wrong??

domestic_goddess

Tootsiepops wrote: »

. Children are a product of their home life and mine or totally normal, healthy ones. So do yourselves a favor take a good long look at your life, and stop trying to rip mine to shreds. BEFORE ANYONE ELSE POSTS ON THIS JUST THINK ARE YOU PERFECT?? I THINK NOT?

Children learn by example so I hope that you are not as agressive and rude in your real life as you have been on here or they will believe that your way is the correct way to handle things and may turn into bullies themselves.

I know that I am far from perfect, I would imagine that most people on here are the same but I hope that I always treat people with respect and if I asked for opinions I would thank people for taking the time to reply - even if they did not agree with what I had done.

onlyroz

No matter how rude or "nasty" the little girl appeared to be, it was not appropriate to chastise her. Any concerns should have been raised with her father or teacher, in a non-agressive way.

I would not chastise someone else's child unless I was their teacher or if I had been given temporary responsibility for them by their parent. Even then, I would generally prefer to raise any behavioural issues with their parent.

nutziloopz

Tootsiepops wrote: »

Thank you, and Thank god someone understands, previous posters have got me down as a child beater!! And a bully.

Hi.. I just want to say that when reading your 1st post I was getting a lump in my throat thinking how your little girl must have felt.. I didn't expect everyne to react the way that they have!! Again this only MY OPINION!!
I have to say that I would have done very similiar! In the early part of your post you said you were out the back helping out!! I would assume that if anything untoward was happening with any of the children it would be an adults position to intervene and see that they all got along and any disagreements were squahed!!! It was just unfortuinate that it involved your DD!! When telling/ asking a child the right thing to do that you said you done... is to kneel down t their level!! The way you also asked if it was something that your little girl had done wrong.. also is the way to approach it.. in my eyes... Obviously the other little girl didn'tlike you cnfontinjg herover the problem but thats life.. u cant go around being nasty!! You have to be told!! I always tell my friends to correct my 5 yr old and from what i can see you weren't even trying to correct her you were merely trying to sort out a problem before it esculates into something bigger!!
I really hope that you got the situation sorted and that your little girls can continue to enjoy their ballet!!
As for the post that said that 5yr old children dont even know how to be spiteful (or such like) I very much disagree!!!

All the best!!

shellsuit

Children learn their behaviour from their parents.

IF a small child is nasty and spiteful (although I've never come across one), then it's the parents who need talking to, not the child itself.

The only time I would ever question or scold a child that isn't my own, is if they were putting themselves or others in danger or harm.

don't pity them they are brought up in a household with a loving mum & dad, who are not in debt, who are not swingers or anything else that crops up on this site

That's a bit rich isn't it ~ you're asking people not to knock your family life while in the same breath you are doing the exact same.


I think mrcow sums it up with this...

We all c0ck up from time to time - it's just that some of us have the humility to admit when we do.

If you don't think you were wrong (which you don't, because you're biting at everyone who thinks you were), why even ask the question in the first place??

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

mumslave wrote: »

when i was five this new girl started at my school [tiny school had 10 pupils] and latched on to me. I couldnt stand her and for about a month would run away from her. She used to say will you be my friend and i would scream nooooo at the top of my lungs. No parents ever interfered, or even the teacher....and we still ended up the best of friends for years after that. It is hard, when your child is upset, but still, its just kids, being kids.

Exactly - she could find your daughters continuous 'trying to be friends' a little smothering and annoying. At 24 i am the same, can't stand clingy people but obviously being an adult, i know how to handle it perfectly well without offending anyone. When you are 5 little things can be reasons not to play with one another, if you jump in and defend your daughter at every point she'll never learn to cope with situations on her own.

My daughter likes to try and be friends with everyone but is a little shy, sometimes kids ignore her but she has learnt maybe they don't fancy playing at the mo, so she'll go off and do what she was doing - you often return to find the two playing nicely at the end of the day. If i stepped in each time a child decided they didn't want to share or play with her i'm sure i'd be ensuring that they'd never want to play with her. It's no big deal, even if it is upsetting to see your daughter upset, but by jumping in you are creating a big deal of it - which means it'll stick in everyones mind unfortunately!

Best course of action in my opinion is an appology, but an explanation of why too. Perhaps left to it the little girls will get on, or if they don't, they may learn to co-exhist perfectly fine in the same classes even if they barely say a word to one another in future I remember at school i was pretty popular as i was so laid back - but there were a few girls i wasn't keen on and them not so keen on me i'm sure but i learnt to just get on with it and be polite. If you keep jumping in they'll never learn this important social skill.

Former_MSE_Archna

I think this discussion has run it's course now. Please remember the site's motto:

'Please be nice to all MoneySavers!'