AM, I, in the wrong??

balmaiden

Whilst, of course , I have every sympathy with OP regarding her poor sister. I can't help wondering why she included that bit of information. I think maybe she knew she had over stepped the mark and was trying to justify her actions by showing that she is under emotional stress at the moment.

I think the majority of people agree that she was in the wrong. We just have to realise that she doesn't really want to know that and is perhaps just looking anywhere for a little bit of sympathy.Which any follower of these types of threads knows, you ain't going to get it here!!

mumslave

balmaiden wrote: »

Whilst, of course , I have every sympathy with OP regarding her poor sister. I can't help wondering why she included that bit of information. I think maybe she knew she had over stepped the mark and was trying to justifying her actions by showing that she is under emotional streess at the moment.

I think the majority of people agree that she was in the wrong. We just have to realise that she doesn't really want to know that and is perhaps just looking anywhere for a little bit of sympathy.Which any follower of these types of threads knows, you ain't going to get it here!!

yes i agree though I also got the impression we are meant to agree a little girl is 'nasty'. I find it hard thinking that the little girl was sat next to her dad whilst the op wrote her off as growing up to be a nasty girl, for not wanting to hold hands.What a sad thing for her to have to hear.

Errata

I think the OP got an easier ride than the one she would have received if she'd posted on mumsnet.

jellyhead

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

I also think the dance teacher is at fault, someone should have stepped in and comforted the child. In fact if I was the OP I would have popped to the side of the stage and snuck her daughter off till she felt better.
The dance teacher isn't up to much is she would leave a child of that age crying and if fact let the incident grow. If she had just stepped in and said quietly to both girls, "come on now girls hold hands nicely" the whole thing would probably have been avoided.

I would consider moving the child to a different dance school, not because of the other child but because the teacher seems incapable of dealing with young children.

Ali x

I agree - did the dance teacher do nothing A 5 year old is too young to manage a situation like that, under the spotlight, without adult help imo.

Moving to a different dance school would need to be handled sensitively though, to avoid the daughter seeing herself as a victim of bullying.

kitty_cat_2

Yes you definitely were in the wrong. And you should not have flown at the dad as you did, on DVD too.

I will certainly be watching the next series of You've Been Framed with interest now. Yesterday 11:17 PM

Hello??? - did you read the OP initial post???? where did she say that she was recorded speaking to the Dad???

mumslave

Errata wrote: »

I think the OP got an easier ride than the one she would have received if she'd posted on mumsnet.

oh yes...now that really would have been a painful thread to read. No fluff on there.

MrsAnnie

perplexed.com wrote: »

The OP's sister is dying. In this case she will be grieving, angry and not seeing things rationally, or behaving rationally. It is quite likely that she would not have behaved this way under normal circumstances. This is not an excuse, but an explanation.

Fair enough, comment but in Post #23 OP clearly states that:

Tootsiepops wrote: »

do not need your sympathy

So IMO I take that to mean this incident has no relation to other events in her life and she doesn't want us to mention her sister, and that regardlesss of her sister illness, she would have reacted the same.


However.... giving the OP the benefit of the doubt and say that her sisters poorly condition has worn her down to the point of being overly critical of the other little girl in the dance; then surely she would in fact, be sympathic with the other little girl and see that perhaps there might be something else going on with the other little girl other than a vendetta with her DD. Especially if the girl did infact burst into tears at a simple question; this should have indicated there may have been something else bothering the little girl at the time, which may or may not have anything to do with the OPs DD.

I think a kind word of concern to the little girl or her father would have achieved more than confrontation.

Errata

i went back into the changing room, and knelt down and said to "nasty little girl" is there something wrong? had my girl upset her? why had she done what, she had done?? and i said my girl was heartbroke,

Third degree questioning rarely achieves the desired outcome.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Even if you were 100% in the right, speaking to the other child very gently and the father was the only one shouting, (not being there means I cannot know precisely what happened) I'm afraid you will always lose when people will see it as you vs. someone 3 foot tall, with a pink frilly tutu and pigtails.

Which is why schools have the policy that all concerns/irritations/offences/etc are communicated to a member of staff and they have to deal with it. The dance school should have also had this policy in force, as I am sure you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation if they had made it clear before you started helping.

The only way to do anything where other people's children are concerned is to put the official distance between you and them, just for your own protection if nothing else.

My DDs are older and I have had the dubious honour of being front ringside at some absolutely stonking playground rows over the years where parents have decided to sort things out for themselves.

I hope it all blows over quickly and things get back on an even keel soon. It usually does, as soon as someone else has a problem.

I am also sorry to hear of the difficult circumstances this christmas. This extra stress can't have helped.

tandraig

groan - this cant go on jojo - ANOTHER POST where I agree with you! rofl

take heart OP - it will blow over - but a little apology for upsetting his daughter may not go amiss?