AM, I, in the wrong??

Ruby_Moon

Yes, you were in the wrong.

Rockporkchop

Yes you definitely were in the wrong. And you should not have flown at the dad as you did, on DVD too.

I will certainly be watching the next series of You've Been Framed with interest now.

perplexed.com

The OP's sister is dying. In this case she will be grieving, angry and not seeing things rationally, or behaving rationally. It is quite likely that she would not have behaved this way under normal circumstances. This is not an excuse, but an explanation.

Unless you have been in this situation please do not be so judgmental. She was not looking for an answer to a question. She was shouting her anger into a forum, to people who don't really exist in her life.

Rachel021967

This child had made sure the other girls ignored OP's daughter and the refusing to hold hands was the straw that broke the camels back. Alienating OP's child is psychological bullying which if persisted could cause long term mental health problems. How would you feel if everybody persisted in ignoring you at the school gate or at work. The teacher should of put a stop to it as soon as it became obvious. I would of had a word with the teacher and if she refused to acknowledge the problem I would find another dance class for my daughter.

Mheather697

I totally understand how you were feeling. I have had to watch similar things with my own kids and of course you want to defend and protect them.

Having said that I would have spoken to the Dad rather than the child.

cheepskate_2

I totally think the O.p was in the wrong. It was not her child and should have left the dance teacher or parent to deal with it.
Also confused that if this child was such a "bully" to her child i.e told everyone not to play with her, that she would let her stand next to her at dance knowing what has went on and also why had she never broached it with the dance teacher.

From my own view, maybe the other girl is going home and saying what a "bully" the o.p's daughter is as when she doesnt want to play or talk to her, the o.p's daughter doesnt leave her alone but continually talks/annoys her in a very loud manner/shouts.

Maybe the o.p should be looking at her own daughters social skills, as if my son was constantly harrassed by another child when clearly he didnt want to talk/play with them then i'd be a bit put out

Susan_Frost

I think you need to teach your child that, unfortunately, not everyone will want to be her friend because some people are just like that. She has made several attempts to be friendly and it has not worked. So to just keep away from this little girl. She is in the same dance class so, she says hello when she first sees her, does not expect a reply and gets on with the dancing.

Not a nice lesson for a 5 year old to have to learn, but it is better than her feeling bad about it, then maybe herself. It is not her responsibility to make the other girl be friendly.

As a minimum, she has her sister in the class, though maybe not in her group. Maybe there is another shy child there who you could encourage her to be friends with. Or maybe a new child will join, and if she is one of the first to say hello and be friends then she will probably stay friends.

If she can take no notice of the other girl, the other girl may just get fed up of it.

But, yes, a 5 year old can be spiteful.

Yes, you may have gone a bit over the top, but everyone will have been fraught. Try to let it go.

Hard watching it, isn't it.

liney

Your daughter is now old enough to be taught:

Some people aren't very nice.

Not everyone will like you.

The little girl didn't want to hold her hand; that's not the crime of the century, and did not deserve questioning over it by a "strange adult".

You cannot control her behavior, but you can have your daughter stay away from her, or at least stop being so persisitant (repeatedly trying to take her hand, repeating herself loudly to get the girl to speak to her) when people clearly don't want to do xyz with her. A life lesson.

ckerrd

perplexed.com wrote: »

The OP's sister is dying. In this case she will be grieving, angry and not seeing things rationally, or behaving rationally. It is quite likely that she would not have behaved this way under normal circumstances. This is not an excuse, but an explanation.

Unless you have been in this situation please do not be so judgmental. She was not looking for an answer to a question. She was shouting her anger into a forum, to people who don't really exist in her life.

Well she won't make that mistake again in a hurry I suspect.

mrcow

perplexed.com wrote: »

Unless you have been in this situation please do not be so judgmental. She was not looking for an answer to a question. She was shouting her anger into a forum, to people who don't really exist in her life.

Erm - sorry to burst your bubble, but did you even read the title of the thread?

Even if she had just posted to sound off is was pretty obvious from the outset that the OP didn't think that there was anything majorly wrong with upsetting a 5 year old and then tearing a strip off her Dad.

Just to be clear - it is not anyone's place to upset a child in this way. Especially over something so trivial.