AM, I, in the wrong??

Tootsiepops

Hi, my problem is, i have 2DD's one 5yrs the other 3yrs, and they both go dancing, on friday & saturday was their xmas show, i was in the back helping out and sorting my girls out. Friday everything was great, my 2 loved it and could'nt wait too get back to it on saturday, my eldest has had a few problems with one of the other girls, she made all the other little girls ignore her in rehearsals and has been quite horrible to her, but my girl still trys and be friends with this child and does try to play with her. Fast forward saturday, there they are up on stage doing their ballet, when my girl stretched her hand out to hold this other girls hand ( the nasty one!!) and she pulled away and the more my girl tried to hold her hand the more she pulled away in disgust, all this was being DVD'd for parents to buy, my little one's face crumbled an she started sobbing, to say i was gutted for her is a understatement, i rushed to the front and gave her the thumbs up, trying to talk her thru it and smiling all the time (even though i felt like crying). When the lights went down an they went off the stage, i went back into the changing room, and knelt down and said to "nasty little girl" is there something wrong? had my girl upset her? why had she done what, she had done?? and i said my girl was heartbroke, the next thing this "nasty little girl" starts crying, her father starts shouting at me shes only 5!!! i bloody know how old she is, but she has persecuted my girl for weeks now, i told the dance teacher, she done nothing, so i flew at this childs father, told him in no un-certain ways what i thought of him and the way hes bringing his child up to be a nasty, hurtful little girl!!! Im not making excuses for myself, but i was devastated to see my child so upset, and ive also got my sister in the local hospice dying of terminal cancer, and i just flipped. The dance teacher has'nt even been in touch with me about it, my girls have dancing tomorrow and im taking them, do any of you think im in the wrong? bear in mind i NEVER shouted at the child, or was nasty, but between every thing thats going on i was livid and all this is on the dvd, what would you do? thanks for reading sorry its long-winded.

mumoffour77

Im no help......sorry but I didnt want to read and run!!

I hope yo and your DD have a happy ending to this dilema!

mrcow

Yes you were in the wrong.

You don't have a go at a five year old. You're an adult. Have you any idea how intimidating that is?

kegg_2

Yes you over reacted.
Not all children are touchy feelie and into handholding so the more you dd tried to hold her hand the more she would pull away.

fly_dragon_fly

awww big hugs sorry i dont know what to say poor you and your daughter its heartbreaking when that happens. kids can be so mean

amy_lou_4

kegg wrote: »

Yes you over reacted.
Not all children are touchy feelie and into handholding so the more you dd tried to hold her hand the more she would pull away.

If it was part of the dance then it would have been really obvious the girl was pulling away from her and sort of victimising her, but if it wasn't then I agree! It isn't clear which it was.

Edit: Oops just saw what you said! I used to do ballet shows and it would have been horrid for someone to do that to me onstage
But I do agree that the girl could have been very intimidated by an adult who was not her parent questioning her actions- not necessarily "telling her off" as I am sure you didn't want to have that tone, but still questioning her.

Will her dad be there tomorrow?

kegg_2

Tootsiepops wrote: »

She was'nt being "touchy feelie" it was part of the dance for them to hold hands!!!!!!!!!!

but that still doesn't mean the child likes that part and will do it. They are 5 years old and so are not going to follow the dance instructions to the letter.

shellsuit

I think you were wrong to say something to the girl.

You should have had a word with the dance teacher or her Dad.

Obviously her Dad just saw you talking to her and her crying.

They are only little, I don't think a 5yr old would have it in them to be nasty on purpose, just more like "don't want to do that!" kind of attitude.

It's heartbreaking for your little one, but I really don't think there was any malice in it x

globalds

On a positive note ...Your heart was in the right place.

mrcow

Tootsiepops wrote: »

Thank you, and Thank god someone understands, previous posters have got me down as a child beater!! And a bully.

No - you asked for opinons. And you got them.

You should never, ever approach a five year old like that. If you had done that to my four year old, then I would have been furious.

Maybe the girl just doesn't like your daughter for whatever reason. It happens. It won't be the last time it happens.

tandraig

you are going through a hard time hun, and may be a bit oversensitive. but, if it was part of dance and your daughter got upset -i understand how you reacted. now you need to calm down - tell your daughter she danced perfectly - it wasnt her fault the other girl didnt take her hand - but SHE was perfect. now tell yourself - deep breath - its not the end of the world! and kids will get over these things.
sounds like you have other issues right now - If you want PM me and rant away- I wont tell anyone!