telling a partner about my debt

Twinkles08

One of my best friends has just found out that her husband as a lot more debt than she knew about.Although she is quite gutted by the figures of the debt (as she is quite good with money) she says she is more hurt by the fact that he hid it from her.He thought he was protecting her from the truth whereas she is devastated that he wasn't honest and couldn't come to her.Give your hubby time to get his head around it,yes he will be disappointed ,upset,etc but at least you have shown that you are dealing with it ie dmp.You just nd to ride the nxt few weeks out hun x

Poosmate

Hi Littlesmurf, congratulations on telling your hubby.

It's so unfair that trying to protect by omitting to tell is often perceived as just as bad as outright lying in the early days after confession, so these early days will be tough for you for a while. Hang in there girl, things will get better I'm sure. I hope it's sooner than you think it will be.

Best wishes

Poo

fairydiamond

I just want to say that it is important to tell your other half. Money isn't worth stressing over, it really isn't. Everything can be resolved one way or another. Tackling it together is better than facing it alone.

Well done to everyone who tells their husband/wife/partner.

GeorgeUK

Hi Littlesmurf. You did the right thing.

He had tried to get credit before and was refused and was going to try again. At least he now knows why he may have been refused. He's going to need some time to adjust and to find his bearings again. He won't know where this leaves you both or if you are financially secure any more.

You told him about the debt - did you tell him you are getting advice about it and have a repayment agreement set up?

Xevius

(((Hugs))) You def did the right thing...he just needs some time to get his head around it. Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.

Snowdonlily

Littlesmurf.........my husband was also in shock for a few days and he screamed and shouted more than his fair share, but we're ok now, and he's really supportive. He was hurt by all the lies I'd told him and yours probably feels the same, but you've already started to sort things out, so you're one step ahead from where I was.

You don't feel it now cos its early days, but when the next bill arrives and you don't have to hide it, you'll know you've done the right thing.

Good Luck x

GeorgeUK

How are you doing LS?
Have things improved any yet?
Does he know that although you are in debt, you are dealing with it and when you will be back in the black?

Hope you're okay.

littlesmurf

update..
things are improving. My hubby has been fantastic. he is still very hurt by the lies and very frightened by the level of debt that i have especially as i can't explain a great part of it. He has taken control of the situation and we are both working really hard to bring ithe debt down.
thank you all for the fantastic support, and yes you were right, i do feel so much better now he knows, we have a long road ahead of us and i have a lot of trust to build back up with him but we can get through this , and an added bonus i slept through last night for the first time in 2 years
Ls x

mrs:optimist_2

That's great to hear, I'm so glad things are getting better now xxx

littlesmurf

advise please.
if i take my name of my partners account and no credit is in his name , can he get his credit file cleared ?
thins getting sorted slowy, are just getting to grips how much money i have wasted and how much money we would have if it wasn't for my mess