Another saturday in alone... :(

BitterAndTwisted

Have you looked into seeing whether there's a Gingerbread group near you? That might be a way of striking out on your own and meeting new people in exactly the same situation as you.

You might be alone in your home but you're certainly not alone in your situation, I can assure you. I can't remember the last time I went out on a Saturday night, just socialising. What I did was start networking on the internet with people who share a common interest, in my case a certain obscure genre of music and before I knew it there were people going along to the same gigs as I was interested in going to. Now, I can turn up at pretty much any gig on any night of the week all on my own and there are people there who have become friends. Then those friends include you in something, introduce you to other friend and so it goes on. It's just making the first moves that are a bit scary but it's truly worth the effort.

pinkie_pie

mumslave - I have been on antidepressants in the past (relationship with my husband was not the most pleasant) but I don't know that this situation justifies them... I know I'm depressed but it's because -of- the situation, I don't know that medication would fix that? Does that make sense?
Just read your last comment - that's how I feel, I just feel like I'm barely managing to tread water. Everytime I meet new people I try to initiate friendships, organise things... but it never pans out.

dogcat_2

You are young ...things will improve...is there anything that you are interested in? A new hobby perhaps...one that you don't have to leave the house for...that would be a start..just to keep you occupied. As your children get older...you will have more scope to get out and about. Life is what you make it!;):D

pinkie_pie

choille - thanks. Like I previously said I've struggled with those things as the nearest place I suppose to branch out and try new things or re-try old interests is possibly London, which I can't afford to visit... I might need to try and cull the shopping again, and re-jig finances so I can venture out further. I don't like doing it on my own though, I know that sounds really weak and pathetic and I know I sound like I'm arguing everyone's ideas which I really don't mean to... I know I need to be stronger.

One uni friend I have a bit more in common with and I've done my hardest to get closer to her!!! She has no kids but isn't into the partying lifestyle... well I say that but she has many many friends and I'm often in a queue for some of her time when I'm kid free. She will be leaving the country at the end of our course though, but I'm happy to be friends right now!

pinkie_pie

kimmee - so sorry to hear of your relationship breakup. You sound so optimistic too! Having said that, I was also, 2.5 years ago!!!!! :rotfl:
I know I'm wallowing... I know that. I just do feel in the last few months that I'm sinking.

pookienoodle

I am in a similar position,
I am married with a 3 year old but my husband has a longterm(but thankfully not life threatening) illness.
for the past 4 nights he has gone to bed as the same time as our 3 year old.
we no longer have a social life as hubbie is usually too tired and I have few friends to speak of(I would feel guilty going out without him anyway)
I love my husband and son but often feel like my life is passing me by.
my only advice snowed it to keep trying,also what about internet dating?
I know who a few peope who have met online.
EDIT
why not take driving lessons too..it would really broaden your options.

mumslave

snowedunderitall wrote: »

mumslave - I have been on antidepressants in the past (relationship with my husband was not the most pleasant) but I don't know that this situation justifies them... I know I'm depressed but it's because -of- the situation, I don't know that medication would fix that? Does that make sense?
Just read your last comment - that's how I feel, I just feel like I'm barely managing to tread water. Everytime I meet new people I try to initiate friendships, organise things... but it never pans out.

Anti depressants dont fix in the long term, but they often do in the short term. If you are very depressed, the ability to stay motivated and keep pushing ahead wont last long, the anti d's could help you just take the initial steps. The rest would then be up to you, to change your circumstances to ones that make you at least content, if not happy. I know its hard when nothing you try seems to pan out, but if you dont try, thinsg definitely wont, if that makes sense. Keep doing all you can to keep yourself busy and distracted from dwelling on feeling so alone.

pinkie_pie

BitterandTwisted - actually no I haven't heard of gingerbread, will look at that.

Incidentally, what's the odd genre? Music is my absolute passion, if I could drive it would be something I'd be persuing... about 30 minutes away are some good live music venues, but as it stands with not driving I wouldn't make the last train home something to think about for sure....

worriedsik

what has the world come too when at 26 you are feeling like this ?

iam 47 now and feel like this for the first time in my life , you should not feel like this at your age

i see people your age group on dating web sites, they never existed when i was your age, they are all saying how lonly they are how can this be ?

xx

Tish_P

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. If you can, remember how much you have to be proud of - your lovely children and the fact that you're at university working hard towards your future. It has to get better from here. I'd second one of the other posters who suggested you might want to talk to your doctor if you're really down.

What went wrong with the hobbies/ evening classses thing? And you might have already tried this, but is there a mature students society at your uni where you could make friends you've got more in common with?

One last thought - it sounds a little bit like your local partnered-up friends might be jealous of your independence, subconsciously or otherwise, and that might explain (although not excuse) their nasty behaviour. The grass is always greener on the other side...