Forgotton ?

kindofagilr

I love my OH dearly, but he has no clue lol, so if I said I didnt want anything, he would take that literally.

So this christmas I said I would like a locket, we went christmas shopping two weekends ago and I saw a ring I liked instead so I told OH I would like that instead.

I dont think there is anything wrong with that and he has told me what he wants for Christmas.

MrsE_2

helena4 wrote: »

Thanks tricktrolly also Kaypeel and skypie123

I realise I should not have posted here as there now!
Yes trickytrolly it is all about feeling let down and undervalued. All I wanted to ask was how would others feel if this was something that happened to them, alot said it would not bother them well your harder than me.

IMHO he should mean/tight/a skinflint.

I would not want to share my life with a tightwad.

If he makes you feel bad, why not get rid of him & find a man who makes you feel good (& doesn't embarrass you with his meanness).

nixinixi

Helena, have you managed to talk to your OH?

I would be like you and say no initially but like you then agree that it would be lovelly. (And if you said ok after saying no and he responded then I don't believe he received mixed messages!)
It does sound to me like he hasn't placed much value on your birtday and the 'main' present was a cover up which has since been forgotten. He may have money troubles....just because he owns the property and has tennants doesn't mean he hasn't stretched himself to far and he may have cash flow issues...but I would have thought after 2 years together this would be something you would talkabout.

If my OH said he was going to get me a surprise I would be disapointed when it didn't turn up.... but I would ask/remind him! or drop very unsubtle hints! Though difference with my OH would be we would go shopping together after so I could choose.....we have been together for 17 years and I don't think I have had a surprise yet, or ever been brought any flowers (he doesn't like them lol). These are things I accept about him.

I feel you are at a crossroads...this is going to bother you so you either need to talk it through or decide if this relationship is actually going anywhere.
You have said marriage is def. not an option......personally after 2 years I think you know if a relationship is working well enough that it has a long term future (marriage or not!) or if the cracks are showing.....

Sorry if I have said anything out of line I can only give my opinion....basically I would need to find out why he hadn't brought me my present and find out how important/unimportant I was to him.....I wouldn't want to waste my time on a relationship that wasn't going anywhere! BUT if you love him and he loves you then this might just be what he is like..... relationships eh!?

Barny1979

Errata wrote: »

Men and dogs need clear instructions.

Not all men do:mad:

Barny1979

kindofagilr wrote: »

So this christmas I said I would like a locket, we went christmas shopping two weekends ago and I saw a ring I liked instead so I told OH I would like that instead.

Cue the ironing board cover being unwrapped on Christmas morning;)

MrsE_2

kindofagilr wrote: »

I love my OH dearly, but he has no clue lol, so if I said I didnt want anything, he would take that literally.

So this christmas I said I would like a locket, we went christmas shopping two weekends ago and I saw a ring I liked instead so I told OH I would like that instead.

I dont think there is anything wrong with that and he has told me what he wants for Christmas.

My DH often gives me cash:o
He does it because he doesn't know what to buy:rolleyes:

kindofagilr

Barny1979 wrote: »

Cue the ironing board cover being unwrapped on Christmas morning;)

I dont know what you mean? we bought the ring there and then

Mrs E there is deffo nothing wrong with that either

pelirocco

MrsE wrote: »

My DH often gives me cash:o
He does it because he doesn't know what to buy:rolleyes:

Surely if you needed / wanted anything you would buy it anyway?

Or is it just me that finds the whole buying each other gifts a bit of a waste?

kindofagilr

pelirocco wrote: »

Surely if you needed / wanted anything you would buy it anyway?

Or is it just me that finds the whole buying each other gifts a bit of a waste?

Some of us like OH and me dont like "wasting" money throught the year on non-essentials like rings etc therefore birthdays and christmas come along

CAFCGirl

I'll be honest after 2 years together, you should fel comfortable enough with your partner to say what you mean, and mean what you say.

My DH proposed to me on our second date, and I said Yes. The fourth time we saw each other, he just said, I suppose we should go shopping for a ring... and my response was get your shoes on then....

Now it wasnt greedy on my part, and he was asking me because he thought we should get my ring.
And he didnt buy me one prior to asking because he knew I wasnt the classic big diamond rock girl, he said he had seen my jewellery on our first date, and the size of my fingers and would never have been able to guess, and he was right, when we went shopping he picked some awful things for me, so I just picked what I liked, got measured, it was ordered and he picked it up a week later.

Now we were able to be that honest with each other that early on about what we wanted/expected so after 2 years in a relationship, you should be as well, and if you're not, what are you doing together?

If it thats important ask him where it is, but I wouldnt be surprised if he's just forgotten.......
Just be prepared for him to think its a bit childish to have not mentionned it sooner...... because if it was my DH thats what I'd be thinking.....