finding friends

smiling_sophie

Hiya...
Im so glad you posted that thread as i think alot of people go through exactly the same thing.
I have myself done that but I am getting better at keeping up to date with freinds and making new once.
I must admit I wasn't too sure about joining forums on the net but it is working out really well.
Chin up chick
s x

Thriftylady

this thread has worked out fantastically, so many of you seem to be in similar areas, geographically I mean ! I'm far far away though, and across the sea....enjoying reading everyone's posts though, really is heartening to realise that so many other people feel the same as me....

I've noticed that most of us (although not all) seem to be female. Do you think men don't need company in the same way that we do ? Or do they just not admit that they need company?

smiling_sophie

Hiya
I think men need company just as much as we do but just don't talk about it like we do, think it may be down to pride a bit...
S x

Bun

Big hugs to everybody who's had a bit of a rough time of it recently....

It's getting quite creepy, so many of us on here have had similar experiences.

I too lost several friends when my first husband and I split up. Some came back, some didn't. Most of my uni friends live miles away.

The publishing company that my husband and myself worked at for donkey's years went bust earlier in the year. We took voluntary redundancy when it was bought out as our jobs no longer existed, and have quite a stressful time of it. It was looking like we would have to relocate from Bournemouth to somewhere near London, and on top of that I was diagnosed with asthma and shortly afterwards ended up in hospital. Things are a lot better now, DH is working freelance at the moment and we have decided that we are going to stay here, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. It's been fine talking about everything with a few good friends I had at work who were also made redundant, and one other friend who I met at toddler group, but it would be nice to have somebody who you could actually say how you feel to if you do feel a bit down, rather than the superficial stuff. Particularly as it's been several months now and people either don't really ask or I don't like to say now as it feels like I'm whining!

I'm in Bournemouth (Sorry Wannabe for the shoddy pming, bit of a dodgy week one way and another), so it would be great if there was a meet of some sort.

wannabe

smiling_sophie wrote:

Hiya
I think men need company just as much as we do but just don't talk about it like we do, think it may be down to pride a bit...
S x

I think men do need friends as well but they also don't seem to mind as much, or like you said pride get in the way of them admitting it. If there are men on this link I would love to know how you feel especially as you can be honest when you are writing. My OH could be so cruel when I got upset about being lonely and made me feel it was my fault or I was a bit of a freek but after reading this it seems that lots of us struggle to make/keep friends. I also think it is easier for a man to go into a pub by himself no one would really bat an eye but if I did it I would feel so self conscious and worry what people might say ( am I paranoid??) Also guys can go out together and sit in silence at a bar but girls wouldn't do that.
Well I hope you have good weekends, maybe the sunshine will keep us all smiling and feeling positive. x
I will pm you Bun sorry have had a naff week as well, bet Bournemouth will be crazy this weekend!

whatamess_2

Hi I feel the same about going in pubs. If I have arranged to meet someone in the pub I will go in, but feel very self conciuos(sp) as people give funny looks.
Looks like I am on the opposite side of the country to a lot of people, far south east, it is our first festival of the summer this week so will be nuts down here as well.
Charles Dickens week, great fun but makes the simple task of getting to work a nightmare.
Sending a big :grouphug: and :hello: to us all.

ms_london

If anyone is in London or nearby we are having a social on 23rd July (location to be confirmed)..

I would quite happily sit in a pub/bar on my own (with a book or something to do of course!) but only if on holiday or in another country, not here - saying that it depends where it was & what the place was like. Hence why I am going travelling alone - cant wait!!

There are a lot of men on the forums I visit that are in the same situation, I suppose it depends - and if the person has moved around a lot they are more likely to have less/no friends in the are than those who have lived in the same place all their lives?!

I want to make it my mision though to get as many people in the same situation together, its silly that so many people feel like this but there arent enough groups (especially outside of london) that get people together!!

I'll be setting up a similiar group as soon as I get to Oz.

Ooops, sorry to ramble!!

But big hugs - you are not alone!! xx

pennineman

wannabe wrote:

I think men do need friends as well but they also don't seem to mind as much, or like you said pride get in the way of them admitting it. If there are men on this link I would love to know how you feel especially as you can be honest when you are writing.

It seems men don't talk about their feelings in the same way that women do. Don't know why that is. Traditional roles maybe . . .

And yes, men need friends as well. I have a mixed bunch, some here on the web and some in real life. Like you, wannabe, I teach, or rather I did. I'm one of the lucky ones who's just (last month) got early retirement. And you'll know just how hard that is nowadays. Well, the MS I've had for 22 years probably helped a little

During the difficulties of the last six months I've been supported by Penninewoman at home, of course, she's wonderful, but also by someone here on the Web who is a lovely, straight-talking woman. She gave me lots of support at a time of change for her also. This was something I valued and still do. In the end it might have been too much for her. I don't know as she broke off the friendship abruptly, asking me not to email her again. That hurt but time is slowly healing.

I think Web friends are great. I've had lots since I started browsing in a time when the Web as such just did not exist. (Now that makes me really old!)

And I think here on MSE is probably as safe a place as you'll find on the Net?

Just be careful meeting people in real life. They might have left something out!

And you might find one or two useful bits of info for teaching on the education website I run. It's suffered over the last six months but I'm hoping to keep it going for now. If you PM me I'll give you the URL.

Hope you're feeling a little less lonely and that school's going well.

shays_mum

Urban spirit, i just got this mail, so am soooo sorry i could'nt respond till now , hope the work thing worked out for you!.
With me, i think i was just feeling abit blue & with terrible pms, it did'nt help. I am in a different position, as i have kids, family around etc, but it still feels like i am a foundling sometimes!. I feel like an odd bit of a jigsaw sometimes, will look like it fits in if you pushed really hard!.
If it all gets on top of me, a nice soak & a great novel/glass of wine/chocolate/icecream etc works!!, at least for a few hours i can get away from it all.
If i totally had no-one, then i would def. go to these meets these wonderful ppl are trying to organise, if nothing else, atleast you can chat about all the money this place has saved you & how nice it is to meet like-minded ppl who appreciated & support the efforts of this site!.
Big hugs to you all xx:)xx

whatamess_2

Seeing as its Friday evening again how many of us are here again in the same frame of mind about finding friends as last week?
Maybe we should start a friday night club!!!!
Glass of wine, bar of chocolate, :rotfl:
Messy