finding friends

wannabe

Thriftylady wrote:

Possibly, but it depends on other people as well. In my case I've stayed in my home town and most of my friends from school went away to university and never came back. I went to university, but came back home as soon as I graduated. I'm now 30 and would have no idea how to go about making friends in my home town either. I honestly look at the other people my age who live round here, the ones who started working straight after school, who had their families young, and whose friends did the same, and I think that probably overall they are much more content with their lot in life than I am, or my friends are. We're taught from a young age to strive for academic achievement and a 'good' job but its taken me until now to realise that those things mean nothing if you are lonely or dissatisfied.....

You have hit the nail on the head for me. This is just how I feel. I walk around Southampton and see some people that I went to school with and they have children and a job they have worked their way up to. I spent 4 years training to be a teacher and thought that it was all I wanted in the world. I bust my butt to get there, gave up loads of things for it including friends I guess. Trouble is it is not giving me the satisfaction that I would get having a chat and giggle with a true mate, some of you have said a mate that will really be there for you any time of the day. I was desperately ill 2 years ago and they thought I was going to die. I found out then that there were very few friends I had. After I recovered I was determined to make friends but it is really difficult I wonder if it would be easier in other countries, maybe we are all too shy or reserved here I don't know - are there any people from other countries on this thread???? I do know that it is only 1 month till my 30th and I don't want to feel this lonely. I think I will start looking at the local college courses tonight, thanks for the idea. will let you know how I get on.
How is everyone else doing?
Please feel free to pm me anyone

MushyPeas

Hi wannabe

Oh no, I was up in Southampton at the weekend and we could have met for a chinwag My sister lives up there, she's a teacher as well, a Primary School teacher. I spent the weekend chilling with her friends, which was nice. All her friends seem to be her partners, and he met those at University. Maybe I missed out at Uni?

Your college course sounds good and happy birthday for next month! You could always be brave and invite us all out for your birthday, I'd come

MP x

Angel777

Hi Wannabe its great that you had the courage to put this on. I also feel exactly the same so it would be great to hear from people on here.

I also think that there are many people in the same position but dont have the confidence to do anything about it.

You can pm me, good luck.

whatamess_2

patchwork_cat wrote:

I have realised that no there are people like me who would take in a neighbours child at 3 am in an emergency. The thing is meeting them! I've gone full circle!

Morning. I am one of those that if someone needs help and I have the ability/time to I will. Unfortunatley not every one is the same. people can be so insular/selfish that they would not dream of helping.
Some people I work with have a tantrum if they have to leave work 10mins late because something needs finishing before they can leave. So invariably being the shift leader and the head on the chopping block I end up staying late to finish the jobs. Yet if everyone got on with the job instead of moaning it would take half the time!!!
Messy

wannabe

MushyPeas wrote:

Hi wannabe

Oh no, I was up in Southampton at the weekend and we could have met for a chinwag My sister lives up there, she's a teacher as well, a Primary School teacher. I spent the weekend chilling with her friends, which was nice. All her friends seem to be her partners, and he met those at University. Maybe I missed out at Uni?

Your college course sounds good and happy birthday for next month! You could always be brave and invite us all out for your birthday, I'd come

MP x

Freaky! can't believe you were in my neck of the woods and your sister is a teacher, that is just typical that would have been great to have a gossip, if you come up again perhaps we could meet. As for my birthday I could do something I have no idea what though???????

balijay

Ooh can I jump in here too? I am amazed at the number of people who feel exactly the same as me! I am 25 with 2 children and unfortunately about to get divorced. While i know the 3 of us will soon recover from this, I have spent all of my adult life with my soon to be ex (since I was 17) and when I eventually stopped to think about me and looked behind me.........hey! What happened to all the good friends I had at college?? Its definately good to chat on here though!! (ps I also live not far from Southampton..spooky!)

MushyPeas

Ooh wannabe - it is spooky Hi balijay. I've just got divorced and it sucks No children or property involved, but it does make me feel that I have an official piece of paper that state FAILURE!!

*sigh* Sorry, I know I should be more positive about it really.

Ooh, quite a few local to Southampton. So wannabe, the decision is yours, what do you want to do for your birthday? Put yourself first and you decide Maybe a few of us can get together? I can stay at my sister's, so can come up. A Saturday day/night or Sunday day would be good for me as I have to travel for about 3.5 hours to get to Southampton.

moggins

Hi all, I just wanted to add that I've often felt the same way, especially as my ex drove all my friends away by hitting on them

Luckily I now have one really good friend who would do anything for me and I would do anything for her too.

I just wanted to say for those who have children, have you tried netmums? It is divided into areas so you can find someone in the same boat close to you, obviously you might not hit it off with everyone but if you don't try you don't get!

http://www.netmums.com/

scuzz

I lost most of my friends when I went out with my ex. They didn't like him so only spent time with him with no contact with the outside world

Been single for over a year now, still have a couple of good friends who've come back, but it's difficult, as the girl I grew up with has moved out of town and is due to get married next year

I work unsociable hours a lot too, so that makes it harder. I'm only 22 and not really into clubbing. I do meet some people through work, a couple of which have become good friends.

Like so many others on here, I'm always happy to chat

wannabe

MushyPeas wrote:

Ooh wannabe - it is spooky Hi balijay. I've just got divorced and it sucks No children or property involved, but it does make me feel that I have an official piece of paper that state FAILURE!!

*sigh* Sorry, I know I should be more positive about it really.

Ooh, quite a few local to Southampton. So wannabe, the decision is yours, what do you want to do for your birthday? Put yourself first and you decide Maybe a few of us can get together? I can stay at my sister's, so can come up. A Saturday day/night or Sunday day would be good for me as I have to travel for about 3.5 hours to get to Southampton.

You are right about the feeling of failure, that was my first thought about me - why have I not even made a year! Why do we feel like this. A few that I have told said look at me married for ... years, not every day is happy but you work through it. This gives the impression that I am flakey and not even trying which is rubbish.
As for birthday I would really like that. It's not till July but if people around Southampton area are interested in a meet please pm me
p.s Don't know about you but am feeling more positive and enjoying chatting with you all thanks