finding friends

MushyPeas

wannabe wrote:

Why do we feel like this. A few that I have told said look at me married for ... years, not every day is happy but you work through it. This gives the impression that I am flakey and not even trying which is rubbish.
As for birthday I would really like that. It's not till July but if people around Southampton area are interested in a meet please pm me
p.s Don't know about you but am feeling more positive and enjoying chatting with you all thanks

Hiya wannabe

I've had the same reaction, mostly from my grumpy grandparents As if I didn't want it to work! People seem to assume that I must have known when I got married, or wasn't 100% sure. That's what makes it more gutting, that I believed he was the one....oh well.

I'll drop you a pm. It would be good if a few of us could get together? What weekend did you have in mind? Any ideas of what you would like to do yet?

I feel more positive because of MSE Glad you do too.

patchwork_cat

Hi
I wrote the bit about leaving home town as amongst my nearest neighbours and parents at school those that seem most content are those that come from here.Maybe like you say it is not about living in the same place, but not leaving . I feel disillusioned as I was always told to work hard at school ( and in fact do the same to my kids), but see the neighbours who didn't and went straight to work from school having more money and more friends and more social life.( oh, I sound bitter!)

I suppose I am wondering if like you I was told the wrong thing and would have been happier and wealthier staying in my home town and not going away to university, work etc.

gundo

What a fascinating thread! I thought that as the years wore on I'd have more friends but in actual fact I've got less. I don't have any that I would ring up in an emergency for help, my GF of many years has filled that role for a long time.

I thought about it recently when my Dad died and none of his friends were at the funeral (they're probably all dead by now anyway) but it occurred to me that he had virtually no recent friends at all locally but he was a very friendly and gregarious person. I think that moving away from where he was born and lived for over 40 years caused that. I too moved areas and thus schools a lot as a child (Newcastle, Sheffield, Manchester, Teeside and then Hampshire) which means that I have only one friend I keep in touch with from school (a very good and old friend but he lives abroad in Thailand) and I haven't seen anyone from my Manchester Uni days for nearly 20 years.

Perhaps it's just a fact of life...?

IME gyms aren't very good for meeting people as everyone seems to keep to themselves. Ho-hum.

Thriftylady

patchwork_cat wrote:

Hi
I wrote the bit about leaving home town as amongst my nearest neighbours and parents at school those that seem most content are those that come from here.Maybe like you say it is not about living in the same place, but not leaving . I feel disillusioned as I was always told to work hard at school ( and in fact do the same to my kids), but see the neighbours who didn't and went straight to work from school having more money and more friends and more social life.( oh, I sound bitter!)

I suppose I am wondering if like you I was told the wrong thing and would have been happier and wealthier staying in my home town and not going away to university, work etc.

me too! as I said in another post, I really do see the people who were just content to stay here and I don't see them as boring or failures at all, I see them as people who fit into their community and 'belong', whereas I just live here...

Philippa36

Its strange how so many of us feel the same and yet there doesn't seem to be an easy way to meet people or make new friends. I would love to take a class but its the wrong time of year! I also work almost full time and would need to be given a shove to attend classes when I come home from work in the middle of winter, cold, tired and just wanting to get in, have something to eat and then crash in front of the tv!
My sister has a reasonably large group of friends met through her mums and tots group ~ my children at 16 and 14 might look a little out of place! She also has friends from Uni ~ I didn't go and when I had my son at 19 lost a lot of my old friends through being married and them wanting to go out and party ~ now they are settled with young children and I would like to go out and socialise.
Maybe we should all look into a way of setting up a friendly group for occasional meets in the hope that we all can find someone, or several someones that can fill the friend gap...

shays_mum

Man! & here's me thinking i was the only one who felt they were on the outside looking in!. As the years have gone by, the amount of 'real' friends have decreased . Everyone seems so busy these days, even though i have a wonderful family, i still find it really lonely as i watch them go about their lives. It makes me think that if i were to go away, who really would miss me?. Anyways, am getting abit morbid now so better get some sleep, goodnight & goodluck in your meet-up!

MushyPeas

Aww, shays_mum, hugs to you. It's horrible isn't it when you feel like this? I'm sure people would miss you, you sound lovely.

Sleep well MP x

whitty999

Me to i haven't got any friends,Feel rather lonely at times,My children are growing up fast so do there own thing now,So if anyone meets near Kent for a coffee and a chat please remember me.

You really have started a great post if you ever need a chat pm me.Thinking of each and everyone of you. x

waterlilyann

Suddenly I don't feel so alone.....

I really thought I was the only one. College is great to meet people but it's hard as it's 1 night a week and people have their own lives/families/jobs to deal with.

My new hubby is away a lot on business so I'm by myself a lot. My parents don't live too far away but it's not the same as having g/friends to chat with........

waterlilyann

I'm here if you need to chat Careful Girl......

PM anytime

Waterlilyann.xxxx