Teenage son wants gf 2 stay the night.....

Alikay

Sukatoko wrote: »

I am not saying you can stop them having sex but you should not make it too easy for them.

I agree. Sometimes young people actually WANT a few more reasons to say "no" and parents making a double bed available to them puts further pressure on the less "up for it" teenage partner to conform. I know my daughter used us as an excuse to wait a bit longer at 16! It would be great if all 16 year olds were self-assured individuals making carefully considered choices about sex - sadly a heck of a lot are confused rather shambolic little souls desperate to be liked and to fit in with their peers. Or maybe that was just me and mine

jamespir

i would say she can stay but he'd have to sleep on the sofa and she sleep in his bed

gwhizz75

I think my issue with the situation would be the fact that I had never met her. I wouldn't be keen on anyone staying the night in my house if I had never seen/spoken to them before in my life. It wouldn't make any difference if he was asking if a male friend could stay - it's the fact they are complete strangers to you which I personally don't agree with.

I would do what someone else said - invite her to dinner and to spend some time at yours in the evening and then offer to take her home. I know it is a long trip but if your son is serious about being with her then it's probably worth the effort. Maybe once you know her better and are comfortable with her being in your house, then you can try and sort out a solution to the staying over problem (lack of beds).

Oldernotwiser

nickyhutch wrote: »

"The son is still living in the OP's home and is under her care and guidance.
Her rules apply - and without any rhyme or reason she is entitled to say NO, without any explanation or agrument.
Her house, her rules! If he choses to run off to Gretna next week and get married or buy a house together then she can go and sleep over at his house and there is nothing the OP can do about it, but as it stands he is still under her roof.
One day I hope you have teenagers of your own to constantly worry about :rotfl:"

A great basis for a parent/young adult relationship - "I say, so you do" :rolleyes: This is a young man, not a 4 year old. Mutual respect and compromise go a long way.

What's respectful about wanting to sleep with a girlfriend in your parents' house and storming off when you're told you can't?

nickyhutch

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

What's respectful about wanting to sleep with a girlfriend in your parents' house and storming off when you're told you can't?

Who said he wants to sleep with her?

miamoo

Who said they want to have sex? I thought the OP said sleep over?
Why does sleep over have to mean have sex?

Oldernotwiser

Perhaps some of us remember being 16; his reaction to being told that he can't is something of a giveaway as well!

miamoo

I dont think his reaction PROVES he wants to have sex with her, maybe he just wants to be trusted.
My opinion is she should let the gf stay in DS's bed, DS sleeps on the sofa. Any messing an she doesn't stay again.

edited to add, GF on sofa just realised you have another child

DeeDee74

Minimum_Wage wrote: »

I would say NO, simple reason is that you dont have the room, they are too young to be in bed together (and they could get up to things) you have not met her, You haven't spoken to her father to find out if he does agree.

i cant think of one reason why you should say yes!

how long has he been with this girl?

and mw u don't let your children's boyfriends stay?

i don't think it would be a good idea to let her stay not when ds shares a room.
but if u had more room i'd say let her stay.
that's my person opinion i'd rather my children be safe, and know what was going on because weather u like it or not thay will do it.

NoAngel

The main concern is poor DS2 who would be stuck with a stranger in his room! But I think it would be nicer to her her round for dinner a few times before she stays over. And then on the sofa (esp as there's nowhere else!)- they've only been together a couple of months so it seems most appropriate. I was with my boyfriend for about 5 years before we could share a room at my parents house (and we were living together and still not allowed to share...)