Teenage son wants gf 2 stay the night.....

Alikay

I'd put her on the sofa downstairs. It's a Thursday night, so DS2 has school the next day and it's not fair on him to have to either share with them or relocate to your room or the lounge.

I let DD have her long-term BF stay in her room at weekends when she was 18, but put him on the fold-out bed. Whether he stayed there or not didn't bother us....the walls are thin upstairs so if they DID bunk up together they were discreet!

The boyfriend she had when she was 16 lived nearer so rarely stayed over...when he did we put him in with DS1 as we was a hormonal little git who we couldn't trust to respect house rules!:D

Tom1234

red_devil wrote: »

typical teenage lad lol.

I would meet her first then go from there.

Now that point of view I can agree with. If you're not happy about her staying because you don't know her or because of the lack of space it's a very different issue than because 'you're uncomfortable' or 'they might do stuff'.

libbyc3

I'm in agreement with Tom, my dd, just turned 16, met a boy ar easter whilst on a day trip out who lives in burnley - we are in essex! they kept in touch and became a 'virtual couple' via phone and email. coming up to the summer she asked to stay at his, my initial reaction was one of horror, then my OH reminded me of some fo the stories i have regaled about being that age!
i said he could stay here first and phoned his mum.
he came to stay and 2 weeks later she went to stay there. we are lucky that with a bit of bedroom juggling he had his own room and seems a really nice lad. as much as his mum is lovely to chat to i do suspect she may be a bit more lax with policing the bedroom situation, however, we both trust our youngesters to be sensible (as far as you can with 16 yr olds).
no it is not appropriate to put her in with ds2, or have them both in there - surely ds1 can see that? maybe if you compromised and offered her the sofa they might not be so keen anyway?

miamoo

Well I may well get flamed lol! but I think that she should be allowed to stay over, my DS was 15 when he first stayed over at his GF house (she was also 15). I was shocked that his GF mum was ok about it to be honest, but I rang and spoke to her, she said he would sleep on the sofa etc and she trusted them both, so I let him stay.
He told me recently that he was made up that I trusted him, nothing happened (this was 11months ago) they slept together for the 1st time a few weeks ago (he is almost 16) he used a condom etc so I am really proud of him, and am glad I made the decision that I did.

SailorSam

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

In fact, I'm pretty certain he believes I'm still a virgin in my mid-fifties as I've never been married. Hehe

You mean you're NOT !!!
Aahhh i'm going to tell your dad someone put his hand up your jumper.

silvercar

miamoo wrote:

Well I may well get flamed lol! but I think that she should be allowed to stay over, my DS was 15 when he first stayed over at his GF house (she was also 15). I was shocked that his GF mum was ok about it to be honest, but I rang and spoke to her, she said he would sleep on the sofa etc and she trusted them both, so I let him stay.
He told me recently that he was made up that I trusted him, nothing happened (this was 11months ago) they slept together for the 1st time a few weeks ago (he is almost 16) he used a condom etc so I am really proud of him, and am glad I made the decision that I did.

You're proud that your son had underage sex???????????

Oldernotwiser

Tom1234 wrote: »

Are some of you living in the dark ages?

16 year olds have sex. Deal with it.

You're better off making sure that they have a safe, secure and healthy enviroment for it to naturally happen in than essentially kicking them out to a hotel or whereever...

I understand the issues re DS2, but some of the comments on here just make me realise quite how naive some people are.

I'm not out to cause offence here, but come off it, are you really saying that passing on the attitude of 'it's wrong and you shouldnt be doing it' to a 16 year old is ok?

You seem to be forgetting that well known saying "my house, my rules". If the OP doesn't want this then it doesn't matter whether he's 16 or 26, she has every right to say no.

miamoo

I didnt say I was proud he had under age sex, I said I was proud he trusted me enough to tell me and that he used precautions.

Tom1234

You seem to be forgetting that well known saying "my house, my rules". If the OP doesn't want this then it doesn't matter whether he's 16 or 26, she has every right to say no.

I haven't forgotten it. I was however offering advice that would benefit both the OP and her son in terms of building a healthy attitude towards sex, something a number of the users on this forum seem to lack.

And to the poster who commented re her son at 15, well done for standing up and saying your piece. Many would have pretended their son was 16 for the purposes of posting here, but kudos to you for being honest about it

I'm not saying 'YEAH LET EM SHAG' I'm just offering the approach that was taken with me 10 years ago (when i was 16), and that has served me very well since.

Silaqui

If you haven't met her yet, perhaps you could make a rational, adult proposal to your son - something along the lines of she comes round, has dinner with the family to meet them and they they can have some time together in the evening. Then maybe offer to take her home in the evening? I know it's a long way there and back but it will set the ball rolling for her to perhaps stay over another time, perhaps when your other son is out or staying at a friends house?
x