Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

dziga_2

Great article. A couple of my friends suggested buying gifts this year (which I wasn't really expecting!) and I don't want to spend much as I don't have it to spend but I am worried if I get something that costs a couple of pounds even if it's really nice that they'll think I'm
stingy :-/ I'm probably being paranoid but as Martin says it's that pressure you feel.

queen_of_string

Great post. It's the waste that bothers me most. People spending money they dont have on buying things the recipient neither wants nor values is obscene.

It upsets me every year. I also detest gifts that clearly have had zero thought devoted to them, no matter what they cost.

Eddi_the_Seahorse

Great article, Martin - thanks.

One of my major gripes is that other example of social blackmail: the children's party bag. Even if you can fill one pretty cheaply (which is not easy), multiply it by the number of kids at the party and the cost soon rockets.

I once had to give a party bag to a kid who hadn't even been at the party (but who was in tow when the parent came to collect the sibling) - otherwise WW3 would have broken out in my sitting room!

Grrr.......:mad:

joey2307

... just ban Christmas full stop!

I've only ever bought for immediate family although I did have one or two years in my twenties where a few friends bought gifts for each other - that soon stopped though - kind of "gentleman's agreement" really, much for the reasons that Martin quotes - it was all tat for tat!

As well as the present problem I also hate the insincerity you get at Christmas - me and a friend always used to disagree about Christmas - she'd say she loved it because it's the time of year when everyone loves each other. And I'd say that's exactly the reason why I hate it - old school friends turn up visiting their family and although you not seen them for years suddenly wanna be your best mate! Even if they didn't like you (or vice versa) in the first place!

I don't need long lost school colleagues turning up pretending to be all pally with me - if I'd liked them in first place I'd have kept in touch! I've got a wonderful family and decent friends around all year, I'll spend Christmas with them thank you very much!

Bah humbug!

adrian_clark

Being generous is a good thing. Each day we enjoy a sunrise it's a generous gift. Christmas is the time we celebrate God coming into human history on a rescue mission. It's an exciting time, not to impress people with our affluence, creative imagination or moral standing but to share the news that we have a Father who rules and reigns beyond time, history, scientific theories and man's demonic and false religions. He loves us with the love of a true Father; protector, provider, and comforter in times a struggle, pain and fear.

The point is that because we are first loved we get to love others. We receive gifts to steward and enjoy and within our means we get to share. Wealth is not a bad thing, we need wealth to create wealth. Being impoverished is not a bad thing, it doesn't prevent you serving others in non-material ways. It's how we steward what we have that counts. However, if as the world would have, you reject Jesus as God, this all undoubtedly seems ludicrous, wouldn't it be best if you kept your money for another day? Why not share your truth claim with your children that there is no God, Jesus is not who he claimed to be, He was a liar and fraud and Christmas is a cruel joke?

Alternatively you could share the historical record from the Bible that report we have a king who was not born into privilege but poverty. He came to love and serve, to heal and bless. Not a capricious, disconnected God, but a connected loving father who can empathize with suffering, pain and loss. The people welcomed Him but then abandoned Him, the religious crowd hated him because He pointed out they were a bunch of foolish hypocrites. In love Jesus Christ shared the truth about who He was and what He had come to do and for that the paid religious professionals had him tortured and nailed to a tree where he painfully and slowly died of asphyxiation.

The thing about Christmas is that we don't have good advice about how to live a better life but good news that three days later the tomb was empty, and Jesus Christ spent time with his friends and preached to hundreds of people, showing us that He had conquered death! Jesus Christ is the man who claimed to be God. For more information there is stacks of free video and listening material at marshillchurch.org

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

zyonchaos

OK so being in the forces and being away for christmas, we have just had our christmas day. Yes we went mad on the kids and each other, but we have been paying for the presents all year so we can afford to go a little crazy.

For the extended family we give £5 in a card to all the nieces and nephews unless we find a present they will like (and we know they will like, fussy bleeders lol). For their parents we get a big tin of chocs for them to share and depending on how money is a bottle of wine as well. My brother in law has no kids so he usually gets a little extra, but since he actually spends time with us and the kids and gets them something we dont mind this.

We had our christmas on monday just me the wife and the two kids and had a great day, and this weekend before I go away we are having friends and their kids round for a meal and a drink or 6 lol.

The wife loves christmas so we do tend to go all out, but as I said it happens throughout the year rather than in one big job lot in one month. We have a couple of close friends who we do give small gifts to, yet nothing expensive and not under any obligation, but because we want to.

But then I love halloween and tend to go all out for that, so we save up year round for that night as well and in our house it tends to be just as big as christmas. I love decorating the house for halloween, she really loves decorating it up for christmas.

I think it all comes down to individual choice in the end, but two years ago we couldnt afford to do it all big, so we TOLD not discussed with the family that we werent doing presents for everyone because we couldnt afford it. Only one family member complained, which to be fair we expected him to so unsurprisingly he doesnt get that much off us now.

Hollie_Rose_2

I would rather we brought one present, and just had a day focused on spending time with family..

It isn't fair on single parents struggling who have to buy for their kids (like my mum did) and it's pressuring for them as well because if they don't buy their kid the latest whatever that all the other kids are getting, their child will be disappointed, and no parent wants that. Not only do people have to fork out an arm and a leg to buy for everyone, they have to buy food, alcohol, christmas crackers, a tree and so on..

I don't think Christmas should be banned, I just think there should be LESS present buying and more focus on family quality time.. Christmas should be enjoyable for everyone and it is just a struggle for a lot of people.

leathersofa

I think, having just read through 16 pages of this discussion, that the obvious answer is, do what makes you happy, whether that's buying gifts or not buying gifts. The point of the original article is not 'ban Christmas', it's about the perceived obligation to give gifts *when it's not what you really want to do* - THAT is the important bit. If everyone did what they wanted to do there would be no need for bans of any kind.

As to giving home-made gifts, or rather hand-made ones - I've been that route, knitted my fingers to the bone and made cards etc, and frankly it's not worth the bother. People in general do not appreciate the effort you've made. They should, but they don't. If you get enjoyment out of making the items, fine, but don't anyone think that the recipients, in most cases, will like the results any better than they would like something that had taken roughly 5 seconds to buy. Sorry to sound cynical, but been there, done that and am not doing it again unless it's something I really want to make for my own pleasure, that I KNOW for sure the recipient will appreciate.

Of course one of the basic things that would make Christmas better and easier for everyone who has anything to do with children is to stop lying to them about Santa. Just think - if somebody said to YOU 'there is a benefactor you never see, who gives you whatever you want', you'd be greedy too. And yet if you start equivocating to kids and saying 'Santa can't manage this or that', then you might as well not bother telling the lie in the first place. Either Santa is all-powerful or he doesn't exist. I know my oldest child told no 2 the truth when she was 6 and he was 4, and it doesn't seem to have done them a lot of harm. I really struggle to understand people who bleat that 'it's magical for children' - most children are mercenary little b*ggers and are only interested in What They Get, not where it comes from. (and yes, I was like that too as a child, and I don't think it's a good thing). Children are also a lot less innocent than a lot of adults think they are, and we really do get to a ludicrous place when children are kidding their parents that they believe in Santa, when both sides know it's a lie.

misskaytee

cepheus wrote: »

Humbug! Ban Christmas altogether!

No seriously, this is an excellent article, the most important bit is here and discloses how companies exploit consumers especially around Christmas. Of course this line of reasoning is their worst nightmare.



With regards to cards, perhaps we could send Ecards. There must be a version on facebook? For physical cards, why not have a truly recycleable card where you just rub out the previous name and put in you own?[/QUOTE]


This reminded me of a lovely story covered on the local news once....
it was the story of a couple, who had been married for many years and each year they sent the same original card to each other with a new additional messege for the year it was sent, of course they had to add extra pages to the original card as the years passed and they ended up each with a mini card booklet documenting the many christmases they had shared together....It was really heart warming and they both treasured their cards ~ beats putting them in the recycling!

Ponkle22

I agree with you Martin. Have thought the very same thing for years. I have tried twice over the years to do this - but the others in the family still insisted they buy us presents - which makes you feel a right miser on Xmas day so you get sucked back into it again. I am fortunate that I have not been made redundant but if I had I think they would accept that UNTIL I found another job.

Also one year I tried the just buying token gifts but still everyone else bought us expensive presents and again we felt really mean.

Just buying for the children in the family suits me but sadly doesnt suit anyone else.

If this was discussed more openly in the press and on TV then I would have more chance of success. If it has been mentioned in the press or on TV then I have missed it. I'd love to see this discussed on all the major media sites.