Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

popshed

Good luck with the campaign. I wish I had a hope in hell of getting this idea to fly in my family.

I was only last night looking at the vast swathes of (and there is no alternative word for it) utter crap sold as gifts in TK Maxx (but it could have been any shop) and wondering why it is we're all compelled to purchase all this rubbish that nobody needs.

I've never understood smellies. I've only ever been concerned about NOT smelling. I don't see the point of paying £12 for some posh smellies when a 50p vat of gunge can be bought to stop you smelling in any supermarket or pound shop. Jewellery's another one. I don't get it. What's it FOR?

But as usual, I'll be spending my hard earned to exchange for things I neither wanted, needed or requested.

globetraveller

we stopped most of the presents years ago. Each adult in our extended family buys one present for another adult. The maximum amount is decided beforehand- about £50, which is still a good amount. We have 2 little ones in our family who get presents from everyone but to be honest they get far too much and don't really want them all. I'm looking at arranging a bigger present for the older one which a few of us can share. He wants to go to rock climbing classes but his mum can't afford to pay that each week. So- he is happy, mum is happy and we know we are giving something that he will be delighted with.
OH and I - we use our money that we would have spent on each other for a special treat when we are on holiday. A meal in a restaurant we wouldn't normally want to afford. Or a show to go to.We do buy nice birthday presents though.
Secret santa- I absolutely am bah humbug. I watch every year, people opening presents which are useless and they would never buy themselves, and pretending to be delighted with it. And, really those who say they like giving because they like the reaction when the present is opened- you might not be so delighted if you can read their minds as they produce an Oscar winning performance.
One thing that I do do every year, is donate money to a very small charity who play santa to as many slum children as they can in India. Those children are over the moon with something to wear, toothpaste and brush, crayons and paper, and perhaps one toy. Now that is Christmas.

tgroom57

I am the embarrassed recipient of overgiving. My daughter wants to know what to get for 'my stocking' this year -already. I am making a list in facebook Notes, hopefully she will look. My budget is £20 max per family person and is only possible because I won some Amazon vouchers recently.

So hard to know what to get someone who will buy anything they want on a whim. I got caught out earlier this year, bought a dvd for her birthday but before I could fetch it over to her (2 days) she'd gone and bought it herself and watched it too.

maybird_2

Christmas - overpriced, overpackaged tat and big ticket items that people can ill afford but feel they ought to buy to prove they love their kids. Hate it. And hate all the extra crowds/traffic/work involved as well. Love my family, love time off work to be together and sharing a meal. Everything else - wish it would just go away.

I vote for a change of date - 29th February. That way people might stand some chance of paying off the debts from the last one before starting on the next. If only.

ashleyriot

I have read this piece by Martin many times over the past couple of years and it still really resonates with me.

I hope - and believe - that as time goes on, more and more people will read it and that tiny snowball will become the avalanche of change required in society.

The great thing about Christmas Day? Everyone is off (I accept those who still have to work and they're the ones who deserve presents) and it's the one day we can safely co-ordinate without fear of, "The boss needs me to work etc." so that everyone can come together to spend time just being a family.

That's the only thing Christmas will ever mean to me.

jetfighter

I'm thrilled to say that after reading Martin's blog two years ago, and thinking "We'll never get that to work in our family!" we have successfully managed to implement the "no presents" rule this year. A couple of family members were a little bit put out I think, but agreed to it, and most of us are very happy with the arrangement.

For us it isn't about the financial aspect, but about the stress of it all. Worrying about whether the other person has already got what you're buying, stressing out about how much to spend, then of course the stress of actually venturing into the shops at Christmas!

The fact that we are given things we have not yet bought for ourselves suggests to me that we didn't want them in the first place, as we all have the financial means to buy things for ourselves if we really want or need them. I honestly can't think of anything I want as a present this year.

I just want to thank Martin for sowing the seed of the idea in my mind a couple of years ago. I felt great wandering past the shopping centre today looking at everyone queuing (despite it only being November) and knowing that I wouldn't have to!

I am now REALLY looking forward to Christmas... to spending time with my family and eating lots of lovely food!

:T :T :T

Robisere

We buy presents in the close family only.

We try to make them something useful, wanted, (sometimes needed) and if possible, desirable.

Having a 40+ son and daughter, both single parents with 2 children (one of each flavour) we follow this routine: For the oldest grandchild, almost 18, I have for the last 4 years built or upgraded a succession of computers. Now he is considering a career in Computer Networking, I am about to build him a powerful Server and upgrade the equally powerful computer I last built. This will give him something he loves to do and it will also be educational, preparing him for work. For the youngest, his 6 year old sister, as she is still young, some games for her Wii.

For my son's 15 year old daughter, who wants to be a chef ("No granddad, a TOP chef!") some good quality cookery stuff. Last year, it was a laptop. For his 13 year old son, I rebuilt an old PC and upgraded it. He is a more practical lad who likes to work with his hands: joinery tools and a PS3.

For each other: not telling you lot!

Point is, why ban it entirely? It is far too commercialised I agree, but you can handle that in your own way. Go with the whole razzamatazz, be a Scrooge, buy something useful, whatever.

In the end, we are all individuals, or we should be. There are no rules which state what you should buy, or for whom. And no one should be allowed to make any. Anyone for Common Sense? Works for me!

nannon

I've read Martin's blog and some comments and I can agree with both sides.
A few years ago I used to buy presents for EVERYONE.. Now I buy for close relatives only and my godchildren (of which I have 2) I would spend a small fortune and the joy of giving everyone a present wasn't always reciprocated (but the gift was always expected!) I was never one for buying tat, they would be good quality useful gifts but it cost a lot to be thoughtful. It's not that I don't love them (they still get a token for birthdays and big events such as weddings and christenings etc) its just Christmas is about those you are close to not your 6th cousin twice removed who you havent seen over the last 12 months.

Trying to be even more careful this year...
OH and I have 3 children between us so this year we both spoke to our exes and joined forces to go 50/50 on a "big" present each for the kids and spoke to Santa who agreed to getting them nothing extravagent
Also OH and I set a limit at £20 for eachother and a £1 joke santa gift. We know exactly what we're getting eachother and its things we really could do with. We have saved this year on the Tesco clubcard Christmas scheme and have £50 towards food and drinks over the period as well.
Last years decorations were carefully put away to be re-used this year and the kids are going to make old fashioned paperchains and paint christmassy pictures for the walls.

Christmas is only as expensive as you make it and this year i'm doing really well by buying early and also looking on ebay and the buy/sell section of the local rag.

Good luck all Christmas moneysavers!

Chardeka

Thank you Martin for bringing this into the public domain. I stopped buying Christmas presents about 8 years ago, for very much the reasons you list - personal finances and a growing distaste for the greedfest that Christmas has sadly become. However almost all of my friends (AND relatives!) expressed considerable relief and were in full agreement with the 'no present' thing. I think once you stick your neck out and broach the subject and are honest with your reasons why you want to stop, you find others are actually generally of the same mindset. Instead of giving to those that already have, I give an affordable sum of money to one or sometimes two charities instead.

What I do instead is ensure that I remember people's birthdays. This is far more meaningful for the recipient as they know so much more thought has gone into their gift: throughout the year, if I see something that I know someone would really like (and I can afford it at the time), I'll buy it for them and give it to them on their birthday (utterly regardless of how cheap it is). Result? Absolutely everyone happy.

In the earlier days and occasionally since (though not every year) I have given home-made gifts to a whole family. For example a gingerbread house or a tin of home-made 'tree biscuits', where before I would've given a present to each member of that family. I think life in December for me is far more balanced now. I have enough to worry about with being poor without making myself ill over it!

pthompson

I propose imposing a Landfill Tax on all purchases made in the run-up to Christmas.