Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

greensalad

I wish I could convince my family to do the same. I spend Christmas with my grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins. My youngest cousin is 22 and oldest 31. We're all working and independent. 

At the moment Christmas gift giving has carried on like it always has, we all give each other presents. Though I note slight differences between how me and my mother do it vs my cousins and aunties/uncles. For example, my aunties will buy presents on behalf of their fully grown adult children to give to grandparents and others. Whereas I appear to be the only "child" who sorts this out myself. I put this down largely to the fact my other cousins are all boys with the exception of the youngest (who only just graduated and moved out this year), and the concept that boys are somehow unable to buy Christmas gifts and take the burden away from their parents. It really pisses me off.

I suggested the idea of a Secret Santa with a small limit for inter-family gift giving. So one cousin buys something for one grandparent. One auntie might end up buying something for her sister. Another auntie might only have one nephew to buy for. It seemed to make perfect sense to me. 14 people, 14 gifts. Obviously parents are still going to buy a gift their own kids and that's fine but not to give out during the big Christmas evening unwrap.

This was completely quashed because "how can you expect [male cousin] to buy a gift for his auntie?" as if these men are somehow completely stupid. I just thought it was ridiculous. I've done my own Christmas shopping since I was 16 and had a job.

[Deleted User]

greensalad said:

I wish I could convince my family to do the same. I spend Christmas with my grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins. My youngest cousin is 22 and oldest 31. We're all working and independent. 

At the moment Christmas gift giving has carried on like it always has, we all give each other presents. Though I note slight differences between how me and my mother do it vs my cousins and aunties/uncles. For example, my aunties will buy presents on behalf of their fully grown adult children to give to grandparents and others. Whereas I appear to be the only "child" who sorts this out myself. I put this down largely to the fact my other cousins are all boys with the exception of the youngest (who only just graduated and moved out this year), and the concept that boys are somehow unable to buy Christmas gifts and take the burden away from their parents. It really pisses me off.

I suggested the idea of a Secret Santa with a small limit for inter-family gift giving. So one cousin buys something for one grandparent. One auntie might end up buying something for her sister. Another auntie might only have one nephew to buy for. It seemed to make perfect sense to me. 14 people, 14 gifts. Obviously parents are still going to buy a gift their own kids and that's fine but not to give out during the big Christmas evening unwrap.

This was completely quashed because "how can you expect [male cousin] to buy a gift for his auntie?" as if these men are somehow completely stupid. I just thought it was ridiculous. I've done my own Christmas shopping since I was 16 and had a job.

Not this year you're, probably, not !

[Deleted User]

alinwales said:

richardw said:

Simple gifts really are the best, box of chocs, nuts, satsumas, bottle of wine/ elderflower.

And notably consumable too - they don't have to take up space in the house for too long, and if you really really don't like it you can gift it to a raffle to support something local.

I get a lot of foods given and i always give mine to the local Foodbank.

reg091

Let's not forget plastic in this discussion; there's a reason to ban presents all in itself. 
Martin seems to have a rather charitable view of "Violet" when he says "...perhaps she’d have bought food for her children, paid some bills, or put the money towards replacing worn out shoes". More likely she would have spent a fortune on presents for her kids, not paid the bills, thrown her old shoes, bought an expensive pair of new shoes, and spent £50 on Sharon's present,  all on credit and with no caring how she was going to pay for it.

Tammykitty

I actually think this year in the year to resume buying presents and especially sending cards, they don't have to be expensive - i personally will be cutting down on xmas spending, but not reducing who i buy for - may even increase it!.
People are lonely...some peoples families live miles away, they haven't seen them in months, aren't going to see them for Christmas as they cant "go home" - a small card or gift from a friend will mean a lot to these people.
I normally see my aunts, uncles and cousins on a regular basis however haven't seen anyone other than my partner outside of my parents and one cousin since March, so a card from people and a present from the friends I normally see at Christmas would be wonderful.

I think childless people often get forgotten at Christmas - its OK to say no presents for the adults in the family when everyone has Children - but the the singleton or the couple without Children...a present means a lot!

od244051

My parents and I only buy presents for our birthdays as more personal. One of my colleagues was going through the list of people she is buying for when I was in the staff room. One of them was the gran to her niece's fiance! She isn't related to this person at all.

My parents give me a list of food, drinks to buy as currently got £8 off £40 at Sainsburys. Getting things like crackers, nuts, chutneys, packs of stuffings, wine etc.

mike95

chriswatts said:

The of course there's always the gift card for those who can't decide what present to get someone and would thus like to tie the person down to one sometimes rather expensive store and stop them from shopping around to get the best price.

It's nice to get one, but I do think the Christmas Gift card was designed by the Devil.

I agree Chris, most people don't realise as well that when people have a gift card for Christmas especially if the company goes into administration then the funds on gift cards can be used by administrators to pay off the businesses' debts - my sister was stung by this and a £20 gift card she had for Christmas from her partner ended up being worth about 20p (I think she got a penny for every pound on the card or something like that) since then we just give cash so that they can choose whichever store they go to.

MSE_Laura_F

Martin's blog, Is it time to ban unnecessary Christmas presents?, was recently updated (on 5 Dec 2022).

This year with so many affected by the cost of living crisis, I wonder if more people will be considering a no-gift or fewer-gifts Christmas. Let us know.

https://youtu.be/MwtJ5a-snvo