Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

summertea

Its an interesting article and yes christmas can be over commercialised but like every thing else in the world you have the choice not to participate.

I like giving gifts at christmas, i like spending time thinking about what someone would like and i don't expect people to reciprocate. I don't spend a lot of time at home these days and i don't make much money so when i do go home my family usually treat me and won't accept anything from me. Its nice for me to be able to give them something and know that they wont feel guilty for taking it.

As for quality family time i have very different interests to most of my family and spend the majority of my visit participating in activities that i don't enjoy, i find the idea that i must have quality family time at christmas as distasteful as others find the idea that they are expected to give gifts.

adindas

QUite often I get Christmas present that I do not really need.

ADINDAS

tara747

Fran wrote: »

Totally disagree with Martin here, a single person does not have the luxury of writing lists of required presents even though they go through life financially worse off (meaning they do not share bills, purchases and living expenses). Especially women who still earn less than men and also are more likely to give up careers to be responsible for children. As people age *now* the future of pensioners is an unstable and unpredictable thing and the numbers are growing. With unemployment rising where do the over 50's (could be over 40's, draw the line where you like) stand when trying to get these jobs that everyone is after? What about parents on low incomes whose children reach 18? They lose any Child Tax Credits once the child leaves education and Child Benefit follows soon after, yet the likelihood is the children are still costing the family money and it's hard for young single people too. I find it hard to find any "social and financial sense" for low income, single women.

I agree. Single people get nada after forking out ££££s for everyone else's engagements, weddings and babies!

shopperjpg

My church is promoting a "Simple Christmas" and the money we would normally have spent is going to provide water wells in Zambian rural communities. Some of my friends and family members have agreed to no Christmas gifts and giving money instead to this cause. For others, I have spent much less than usual, but chosen, I hope, "thoughtful" presents and am giving the difference to the water project. It's a difficult one, because it's a joy to give and receive, but hopefully we'll all be aware that someone else's life will be a lot easier and healthier as a result of our choice to do this.:T Not sure if I'd want to do it every year, but when you think about people with real needs, I feel guilty for even saying that!

Hollie_Rose_2

leathersofa wrote: »

I think, having just read through 16 pages of this discussion, that the obvious answer is, do what makes you happy, whether that's buying gifts or not buying gifts. The point of the original article is not 'ban Christmas', it's about the perceived obligation to give gifts *when it's not what you really want to do* - THAT is the important bit. If everyone did what they wanted to do there would be no need for bans of any kind.

As to giving home-made gifts, or rather hand-made ones - I've been that route, knitted my fingers to the bone and made cards etc, and frankly it's not worth the bother. People in general do not appreciate the effort you've made. They should, but they don't. If you get enjoyment out of making the items, fine, but don't anyone think that the recipients, in most cases, will like the results any better than they would like something that had taken roughly 5 seconds to buy. Sorry to sound cynical, but been there, done that and am not doing it again unless it's something I really want to make for my own pleasure, that I KNOW for sure the recipient will appreciate.

Of course one of the basic things that would make Christmas better and easier for everyone who has anything to do with children is to stop lying to them about Santa. Just think - if somebody said to YOU 'there is a benefactor you never see, who gives you whatever you want', you'd be greedy too. And yet if you start equivocating to kids and saying 'Santa can't manage this or that', then you might as well not bother telling the lie in the first place. Either Santa is all-powerful or he doesn't exist. I know my oldest child told no 2 the truth when she was 6 and he was 4, and it doesn't seem to have done them a lot of harm. I really struggle to understand people who bleat that 'it's magical for children' - most children are mercenary little b*ggers and are only interested in What They Get, not where it comes from. (and yes, I was like that too as a child, and I don't think it's a good thing). Children are also a lot less innocent than a lot of adults think they are, and we really do get to a ludicrous place when children are kidding their parents that they believe in Santa, when both sides know it's a lie.

Do you know what? I have been waiting for someone who agrees with me! it's terrible to tell children there is some man who can bring them anything they like for christmas, it means the parents aren't able to be shown appreciation, it also teachers kids it's okay to lie... Just think, parents tell their children not to lie yet they lie to them for years about some big beafy man in a red suit flying with reindeers getting them anything they want! My mum even used to write 'to Hollie lots of love santa' on my gifts!

Bargain_Rzl

Hollie_Rose wrote: »

Do you know what? I have been waiting for someone who agrees with me! it's terrible to tell children there is some man who can bring them anything they like for christmas, it means the parents aren't able to be shown appreciation, it also teachers kids it's okay to lie... Just think, parents tell their children not to lie yet they lie to them for years about some big beafy man in a red suit flying with reindeers getting them anything they want! My mum even used to write 'to Hollie lots of love santa' on my gifts!

When I was little, it was only the stocking-filler presents that were from Father Christmas - all the larger presents for under the tree were from Mum and Dad or whoever the actual giver was. This meant the Father Christmas element was kept very small-scale and the "big" presents were subject to my parents' means. This was always understood.

Mind you, we weren't under any illusions about Father Christmas from the age of about 3 - I had to be told it was really Daddy who filled my stocking, because I was scared by the thought of a strange man coming to visit me in the middle of the night and refused to go to bed

jetfighter

Ahhh the age old present debate.

For the past 4 years, a good friend of ours has always exchanged gifts with us at Christmas. However, he is single and we are a couple, and for some reason, he always buys us a gift each! Which means we feel the need to buy him a gift from each of us. He lives with his parents and doesn't really have any essential outgoings, whereas we own our own home and have all of the associated costs.

This year, I took the plunge and suggested to him that we don't do gifts this year, and instead we do something nice together when the weather is warmer, such as a visit to a theme park. We've made a pact and will stick to it - I would much rather spend £10-£15 each on a day out than on stressing out over what presents to buy in December.

This year, between us, my partner and I have bought presents for 11 family members, including each other - no friends this year, for the first time in a LONG time. What is quite strange is that we only exchange presents with certain family members if we're actually going to see them over Christmas. Otherwise, we don't bother. Strange, isn't it? I've never really thought about it before but it is a bit odd. This year we are seeing them all so they will all be getting presents!

Having said that, I love shopping for presents for people I am close to and know well. I always enjoy giving presents to my mum and sister as I know they'll be appreciated and I will buy things that they will enjoy. Same goes for my partner. It is all a bit silly, though, when you think about it, this present exchange thing.

As for the Father Christmas debate, I think one of the reasons I grew up enjoying Christmas so much was because of the magic of it. I was excited beyond belief going to bed on Christmas Eve and I don't think it was even about the presents. It was about Father Christmas, his sleigh, the possibility of hearing sleigh bells, finding the nibbled carrot, empty sherry glass and mince pie crumbs on the table downstairs, and that realisation that "he" had been in the house. I found it all strangely exciting and I don't think it had much at all to do with the presents. In fact I was just as excited finding chocolate coins and a satsuma in my stocking as I was about any bigger presents.

festivefun_2

I work in a charity shop and have made myself a rule that all presents this year will come from a charity shop as you can pick up new goods at a discount price and you never know what unusual items you will come across - and the charity benefits to !

InDebted2U_2

Sounds like a great idea. I've got to start putting an advent box together (hmm, where was that advent thread full of ideas?) soon for DD who is off to uni this weekend, so I can take it when we go to visit her in November. Really got to try and be frugal when it comes to Xmas shopping this year. Have already got main present for DS, and DD will probably be wanting a printer for all her uni work. Other than one big pressie each, I must try hard to not buy too many 'fillers' which are good for padding out stockings but don't have much use beyond Xmas!

lambda

Christmas is a total farce in my opinion as it's just a vacuous and superficial exchange of presents. Christmas should be about spending precious time with family not about blatant capitalism.

Plus, each year my brother spends about 30 - 40 £ on me usually resulting in a present that I would never, ever use or want. Total waste of time and money.

Bah humbug.

Also Birthdays are becoming like that. My partner's sister has just given their mother £100 for her birthday, and this in turn puts pressure on my partner to do the same. But I won't let her. No one needs £100 for their birthday. It's just greed.