Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

Bargain_Rzl

margaretclare wrote: »

On the way, were listening to BBC Radio 4 'You and Yours' where they were discussing fuel costs and how many people are worried about fuel bills, fuel poverty and the recession. And what did we see on the way back? Many houses have huge displays of flashing lights - what does all this cost? This is something that has only arisen of recent years - you can't say it's 'tradition', and what about global warming?

I know this is a bit off topic, but I agree. Also am I alone in detecting that people are MUCH more into "Christmas" (bright lights etc) MUCH earlier this year than any previous year. I know it seems to get earlier every year but I honestly think it's markedly worse this year. Is it a reaction to the recession, do you think?

margaretclare

I didn't think it was off topic - I mentioned it because it's another variation on the theme of 'spending money you can't afford on Christmas'.

I think it all gets more extreme every year and earlier every year.

InDebted2U_2

I was actually thinking how there seemed to be a lot less overly lit up houses this year. We went away for the weekend and hardly saw any during our journey, and certainly none that required their own powerstation.

It will be interesting to see just how many people have gone for the bright lights this year when we do our 'traditional' drive round to look at them just before Xmas (followed by hot chocolate with whipped cream when we get home - can't think why it's become such a popular tradition in our house!)

before_hollywood

i have to admit i go a bit ott with xmas presents, as do my family, we all work full time, dont drink or smoke (except my mum) and there are only 3 of us, and i dont live with them.

we all make sure the bills are paid and then buy eachother what we would have bought ourselves with the spare money.

i've got a new tv- its what i would have bought, and some other stuff i dont know about, mum and dad got a deposit on their new car between them, mum is getting a salon hairdryer and dad is getting a sander- all things they would have bought themselves.
i know my dad is buying my mum a private number plate and my mum is buying my dad seats for his restoration car.

we could have done the 'token presents only' thing and spent the money on ourselves, but we would have just got the same stuff.

me and housemate agree an amount and only spend that, well this year she bought mine first, told me how much she had spent and i spent a few pounds more and got her something she will hopefully really like, her family arent really doing present buying this year and even though we have fallen out and made up more than a married couple hopefully she will realise i do have a caring considerate side (before anyone asks its a d and g light blue gift set )

then there is all the decorations- i wont be at mine for xmas, there is a house a few doors down that looks like something from las vegas, our tree cost £10, the baubles were a huge box reduced to £2 and the lights were some my mum wasnt using this year, i'll buy more in january and chuck them in the spare room, i think everyone should have whatever good time they want as long as the drinking doesnt lead to anyone getting hurt and the whole thing doesnt get them into debt

pixwix

The real crux of this problem is not "what should we give" but "what should we expect?" - and by extension, what should our relatives/friends expect.

I judge none of my family or friends on the value - or even the presence - of Xmas gifts. Frankly, I have neither time nor patience for people who regard gifts -especially expensive gifts - as some kind of right - they're no friends of mine, even if and when they're family. To take matters further - as some actually do - by expecting gifts to be reciprocated, price for price, is a total perversion of the Xmas spirit.

I'm not well-off (retired, disabled and on a fixed income) and for many years, I've given moderate presents, often hand-made. My wife makes all our Xmas cards (they vary from beautiful to awesome). There have been both friends and family who regard simple gifts and handmade cards as socially unacceptable - not 'proper shop-bought presents' - no matter how much time and effort (and love) has been devoted. Increasingly, they do not receive alternatives - they receive nothing at all. In the words of the prophet - b****r them.

Xmas is a time for giving - REAL giving, not manic shopping and spending. Don't worry about offending friends and relatives - as long as you have real values and a real regard for this precious season - let them worry about offending you!

heatherks

kippers wrote: »

A couple of years ago I discussed not buying birthday & xmas presents for neices and nephews that were over 18's in my family (as we have loads of them), except for big birthdays like 21st, 30th etc....i was shot down straight away. So yes, we carried on buying which was hard for us financially.

During the last month we have 'told' everyone we shall no longer be doing it and this time they will have to get used to it. We are not on a big income and i'm fed up of my children having tiny presents at xmas so i can buy for others that don't even say thank you for the presents i buy!

i had this discussion with my father last night about the giving gifts or just a card older grandchildren .. a few over 18 who have never ever bought him a personal gifts or even a card ...birthday or christmas ...even though they have worked and / or college grants ...yet he is expected to buy for them and without even a Thankyou ..

annie_hall

Couldn't agree more.

nickki44

My friend is out of work this year, so we have all agreed to buy each other a gift from the pound shop - so still the pleasure of giving, without the pressure of having to spend any real money....

We are all enjoying the challenge of finding something from the poundshop, that will be suitable/useful/funny!

sysky

well i do give, but im cheeky I give presents that seem a lot more expensive then they really are for my aunt and my friend back in Germany I do spend a bit as I have to add on the ridiculous postage which has cost me more then the parcel contents before (rip off royalmail) but as I do not have parents (I do biologically but not that raised me) I give presents to partners parents which usually relate to their grandchildren ours and his sisters last year a digi frame but as my friend calls me the bargain queen I do shop around for stuff and massively abuse the easy returns most shops offer if I see it cheaper it goes into sale before last return and they are none the wiser but id rather not have anything from his parents (well his mum does the shopping) as she loves matalan and I find it a bit cheap and on the lower end for durability, especially for stuff for the kids. and on sunday shall sort my sainsburys half price toy returns as almost nephew got some items for his birthday last week, which is another problem so close to xmas.

what drives me nuts is my partner leaving it too long to buy presents or anything then complain I didnt give him a chance to go do it, yes kids need new shoes now not in 2 months when they got crippled feet. and the other one he just does not shop around most he does is check amazon for dvd prices but does not think beyond for anything. how can you be so wasteful. he said to me set a budget figure out what we want then buy them full price whithout hassle, but I just cant pay sticker price if I know I can get it for less, it drives me nuts and actually makes me feel sick when people pay insane mark up out of lazyness or cos they are not smart enough to invest themselves.

sysky

I also must stress my almost nephew will get a bit more as there s only him and we got 3 they buy for so its just fair as they are on a better budget then us from what im aware off but still have to budget. his brother just had a little girl in summer and frankly she wont get much as he s really well off in his job and they both work as well and he got stock etc and is a scrooge even so he can afford it and doesnt make any effort with our 3 what so ever and dont mean present wise time birthday and xmas about only time he asks about them as he doesnt know what to get (told his mum what kids would like this year so here s hoping but they might not have it in asda, lol.) our littlest man was 1 on halloween and no present as partner didnt tell him what he wanted for him, seriously he s a baby its not hard. may stress looks like he almost forgot his daughters name in card as well. lol.