Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

margaretclare

Surprisingly enough, I'm actually looking forward to Christmas this year, and it has been many years since I could say that with truth.

This is where we'll be: http://www.britanniahotels.com/hotels/coventry-royal-court

I'm looking forward to the carol service on Christmas Eve and the early Communion on Christmas morning. I've never been to Coventry Cathedral but DH assures me it is well worth seeing, and I enjoy a carol service. The last time I went to one in a cathedral was many years ago and it was in York Minster.

I'm very pleased to know that we've paid for the whole thing, all except petrol getting there and any extra meals on the way there and back, plus temporary membership of the hotel's leisure centre. DH had paid for it on his credit card and he always pays off credit cards in full at the start of every month. I've just transferred my half of the cost from my bank account to his, so it is all paid for.

As I'm successfully losing weight I wouldn't want to blow all that effort on one day of stuffing my face on unwanted food, most of which I don't even like anyway.

In response to samshep, I don't believe that Jesus was born on that day either. But that doesn't prevent me believing that he was born sometime. He's the voice that DH heard last October when he was on the brink of death: 'Not today, my son. Come back with me'. And you can pooh-pooh that as you like.

MattLG

If you have to ask someone what they want for Christmas, then you shouldn't really be buying them a present. At the very most, just get a token gesture of a box of chocolates or biscuits.
If you need to ask them, you obviously don't know them well enough and you're just doing it out of a feeling of obligation.
On the receiving end, I'd rather get nothing from someone (or a card saying they've donated money in my name to a charity) than some random rubbish that'll end up in Oxfam.

MattLG

LittleMissAspie

MattLG wrote: »

If you have to ask someone what they want for Christmas, then you shouldn't really be buying them a present. At the very most, just get a token gesture of a box of chocolates or biscuits.
If you need to ask them, you obviously don't know them well enough and you're just doing it out of a feeling of obligation.
On the receiving end, I'd rather get nothing from someone (or a card saying they've donated money in my name to a charity) than some random rubbish that'll end up in Oxfam.

MattLG

I never know what to get for my boyfriend, or my parents. All of them have everything they need and none of them are materialistic so there isn't much they want either. What on earth do you get for people like that?

Totally agree with the last bit though. I rarely get what I actually want, I'm not the sort of person that goes around making hints or telling people I want this or that. So nobody knows what I like or want and I get stuff that goes straight to charity. Totally wasteful, I would really rather get nothing.

tenuissent

It seems to me no-one could be offended by being given a token bottle of wine, nicely wrapped. Or whisky or champagne or whatever they drink. Or a packet of smoked salmon. At the very least they can donate it to the next tombola or charity stall, which is what I do with boxes of sweets or biscuits people give me. I thank them nicely, appreciate they have made an effort, and quietly pass it on later. That's what I mean by giving things that can be eaten, drunk, burned or read.

Caterina

tenuissent wrote: »

It seems to me no-one could be offended by being given a token bottle of wine, nicely wrapped. Or whisky or champagne or whatever they drink. Or a packet of smoked salmon. At the very least they can donate it to the next tombola or charity stall, which is what I do with boxes of sweets or biscuits people give me. I thank them nicely, appreciate they have made an effort, and quietly pass it on later. That's what I mean by giving things that can be eaten, drunk, burned or read.

Not offended, no, a gift never offends if it comes from the heart, but say you were a well-meaning gift giving neighbour of mine and wanted to give me one of the gifts you mention:

I am a teetotal vegan!

Of course I would be grateful and of course I would pass the gift on, but how would it make you feel to know that you have bought something for someone and they are not going to use your gift/going to give it to someone else?

I know, you say "quietly pass it on later" but what is the point, what is the point then? If a gift is given with good intention there shoud be no need for such carefulness, I should just be able to thank you very much, let you know that this gift is not something I can use, and that it won't go to waste because someone who can use it will receive it from me.

Or, I should be able to give you the option (perfectly valid) to take the gift back to pass on to someone else who can use it and perhaps bring me a bunch of leeks from your garden, or a plant, or a few apples...no?

mig25_foxbat2003

You can't reduce everything to base economics.

I'm going to buy my nephew a pair of Lightning Mcqueen slippers for Christmas. Yes, Disney is a big multinational; yes, he does already own a pair of slippers; and yes, he'll probably grow out of them in six months if he hasn't got bored of them in three. But they'll put a smile on his face for an afternoon, and that's what's important.

Things to consider when buying a Christmas present, as far as I'm concerned, are:

- Can I afford it?
- Will the recipient appreciate it?
- Is this the most thoughtful thing I can buy for this recipient?

Working like this does keep the cost of Christmas down, because the most thoughtful thing is often less expensive than the obvious choice. But it still makes you feel good because you've made someone you love happy (bleurgh :doh:)

And the best thing is that you know the people you're buying for will follow a similar system; and if you think they won't, then they're not the sort of people you should be buying presents for anyway.

mig25_foxbat2003

margaretclare wrote: »

I've never been to Coventry Cathedral but DH assures me it is well worth seeing,

It massively is - especially at night, when the lighting is exquisite.

m00head

Should we stop buying Christmas presents?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8391774.stm

Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn't Buy Presents for the Holidays
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0691142645

.

lolly136

Christmas can be really difficult, the pressure to buy is hard but I think you have to stick to your guns and do whats good for you. I buy for our kids and close family. I also like to give a small gift and card to those people who I want to know that they are appreciated. Our neighbours who run our neighboorhood watch, the leaders at the kids Scout group who work for nothing for our kids all year around. I would rather give them a little something to say thanks. I do not buy for friends, and although a few work colleagues have bought presents for me every year I have not reciprocated. This can be hard to stick to (I have Catholic guilt!!!) but they still buy me something,presumably because they want to not because they feel they have to. I like Christmas cards too, not so much for people you see all the time but for distant friends and rellies. We look forward to hearing the years news from them.
I work with loads of people, I started a "charity xmas card" system a few years ago. We buy a large card a ask people to sign and contribute what they would have spent on cards to a charity of our choice. Very popular at work, green and we raise a fair bit of cash.
A friend has a HUGE family, they have a great system, they do a "secret santa" between them and only buy for one person each.
If you can't afford it don't buy it!

margaretclare

mig25_foxbat2003 wrote: »

It massively is - especially at night, when the lighting is exquisite.

Thank you! The Carol Service on the evening of Christmas Eve in Coventry Cathedral should be magical, then. I'm looking forward to it even more!!

Just another thought - we drove up into Suffolk yesterday and had lunch out. On the way, were listening to BBC Radio 4 'You and Yours' where they were discussing fuel costs and how many people are worried about fuel bills, fuel poverty and the recession. And what did we see on the way back? Many houses have huge displays of flashing lights - what does all this cost? This is something that has only arisen of recent years - you can't say it's 'tradition', and what about global warming?