Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

InfamyInfamy

doverrog wrote: »

WE've been trying to get the Christmas roller coaster under control for some years now. All of our family and friends complain about the endless commercial pressure to buy, buy, buy and the bad influence the commercial pressure has on children, by encouraging them to want ever more expensive and prolific things.
We have hopefully managed to achieve a reasonable target of around £10 maximum per present for adults, but as yet keeping costs down for the children, aged 6, 7 and 8, has been more difficult but has been partially successful.
Have you tried asking people when Christmas is exactly?
It seems most people think it's around Christmas dinner time.
Does anyone know why advertisers seem to think that it's important to have things for this time? The 'must have in time for Christmas' seems a well established message which is drilled into us, yet we all know everything is cheaper when the stuff that didn't sell is piled high from Boxing Day inwards.
Does anyone actually connect any of the frantic commerciality with any Religious event?
Do children have any idea why presents are given?
Overall my personal opinion is that the whole thing is "well past it's sell buy date" and should be abandoned, but perhaps it won't be long before we add on another US import called "Thanksgiving" and we can all double Christmas up???
After all we didn't take long to add 'Halloween' into our culture of 'times to buy more stuff' and adopt silly and questionable children's activities!

Both Christmas (Yule) & Halloween (All Hallows Eve) are Pagan festivals, the former being taken over by the Christians. They stole Easter from the Pagans aswell!! This was a fertility festival of spring. Yule was a farming festival of eating & drinking, burning the Yule log in the fire & baking a large pie to cheer up winter. Halloween is when the two worlds would overlap and you could speak to lost loved ones. Basic I know but you get the gist!!!

margaretclare

I agree, Martin.

Every year we get Christmas rammed down our throats and every year it seems to get earlier. I haven't felt too well over the last few days so I've been watching a bit of daytime TV, and I'm struck by the number of ads that say something like 'Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without....' take your pick. The Co-op grocery says it's bags of clementines!! What these actually have to do with Christmas, I have no idea.

We don't do presents - haven't done for a number of years now. The last person in our family who made any kind of fuss about Christmas that we could all join in and enjoy, died at the end of 2002. December is always going to be a sad month for us, because of her birthday and then the anniversary of her death.

A lot of people are suffering - the flood victims in Cumbria, for instance. There are people who've lost absolutely everything.

I think it's wrong that people who don't want to do it are automatically labelled 'Scrooge' and his saying 'bah humbug'. A lot of it IS humbug - meaning it's insincere nonsense.

I avoid going to our local church on Christmas morning because it has become 'show and tell' for the kids i.e. 'What did you get?' It's about 'getting'.

This year we'll be staying a few miles from Coventry Cathedral, and we plan to go to the Carol Service there on the evening of Christmas Eve, followed by 8 am Communion on Christmas Day. To avoid the 5-course Christmas lunch with 'all the trimmings' and the visit from Santa, we intend to be in the hotel's leisure centre while it's open, 3 hours 10 am - 1 pm. We've paid for breakfast and dinner (carvery) so we shan't want a huge lunch in any case.

Having said all that, Martin, there are threads that run on your site all year round on the themes of 'preparing for next Christmas' as soon as Christmas is over, and also the long-running dilemmas of who will go there or come here, don't want Mum or OH's Mum, don't want to go to them but 'we always do it' and it's written in stone that 'we have to fall in line with family traditions and do what has always been done'. And many variations on that theme.

lenny51

the giving of presents at this time of year goes back to prehistory. It is not a modern invention.
However you should only spend what you can afford

katsu

Sorry, but if you budget and shop wisely christmas does not have to be a disaster.

My husband's extended family have a big christmas party with gifts for everyone, and I shop for this all year round. I appreciate what the party means to them. It is about gifts that are thoughtful and surprising.

When that fails - it feeds the charity shops for bargain hunters

Buy presents you can afford and enjoy Christmas.

hellsbells45

Presents this year - Small gifts for family, TV for DD1 bits and bobs for DD2. have decided that I will give gifts to my two close friends, but these will be hand made scarves. Def something that people will appreciate in this weather.

jAs for me, I've hinted very clearly that cash would be greatly appreciated as I need to do things to the house and my preferred shops don't have gift vouchers. Relitives have taken this very well.

SurfBowlSC

We put aside between 50 & 100 pounds per month as savings for Christmas.
This covers the food, the drink and the presents.
I mean, you get a full year's warning that Christmas is coming.

We don't buy for extended family or friends.
We budget a certain amount per family member (and try to stay under it).

3 1/2 year old son - £150 budget
6 year old daughter - £150 budget
Me - £100
Wife - £100
My parents - £10ish each
Wife's dad - £10ish

That's it...... we don't have much to do with my wife's mum & stepdad, so no need to buy them anything. We don't buy for siblings or nephews/neices.

We were lucky at times in the year that we got given cash or a bill was lower than expected, so Christmas this year hasn't been tight for us at all.

I guess it also helps that the kids haven't been demanding about their presents. They've both asked for a Nintendo DS and a couple of games - nothing more than that. Naturally they're getting more (we have gone over budget on them), so they're in for some pleasant surprises.
Likewise, my wife wanted a DS, but with the budget of £100 she wasn't expecting one. I traded a bunch of old games in at Gamestation and picked up a new DS for £65!

Christmas can be entirely controlled by each and every individual.......

Queen-Bee_2

I do agree with Martin's post, but in practice, it can be hard to implement. My immediate family comprises 10 nieces and nephews, three siblings (and partners) and my parents. Ah yes, and two goddaughters.

It's not that I don't love my family, but I was made redundant earlier in the summer and simply can't afford to keep forking out. To make matters worse there is a big difference between the nieces and nephews as well - I have to treat them all equally, but some of them are very spoilt and TBH, I don't enjoy buying those ones presents at all because they are pretty greedy and have so much already.

The people I would rather buy presents for include my parents, about three of my nieces and nephews, and around three my close girl friends, but by the time I have forked out on my duty presents, there's absolutely no money left!!

Oh dear, I do sound like a scrooge, which is the problem really. I'm too spineless to put my foot down!!

tenuissent

> Like margaretclare I too have been ill for a week and have been watching more daytime TV. I know this is predictable, but the amount of rubbish advertised to children is just extraordinary and must lead both to heartache for those who can barely afford it but feel they must, and huge disappointment for the children when the piles of plastic tat they receive don't live up to the glamourised adverts. I am a scrooge - I do give presents to my 7 grandchildren and various other young relations, but they are usually of the practical sort and they have just had to get used to it. I refuse to enter the world of electronic games and gadgets. For instance, a 4 year old has recently become strong enough to manage an intricate little machine I have that peels, cores and slices apples and pears, and is proud of it, so I have got him one of his own (£12 or £13 at Lakelands). Friends get small presents that can be eaten or burned or grown or read or used up in other ways, to save us all accumulating dust-gathering clutter that we don't want or need.

samshep

Christmas hasn't really been about religion for years anyway. so the perenniel carping about losing that element of it from any perspective is a bit late. It is possible to enjoy Xmas without actually believing Jesus was really born that day (I'm an atheist), the sharing of time and love with your family and friends, remembering people, getting in touch, all these things can be enjoyed within the framework of the holiday, without the relgious element and also (crucially) without buying pointless presents for people. Spend what you like, I say, but never ever expect anything from anyone in return. That way it all comes as a nice surprise! As a rule, to be fair, we buy for our daughter, the children in our family (but not their parents by mutual agreement), sinlings without children, our parents & step-parents and that's it. My dad hasn't bought me a present for years, but I never assume he loves me any the less.

Pinzy

We buy presents for family, but that's it for the 'having to get something' list.
I wouldn't like it if there was no gifts at all, but agree that they don't have to be shop bought. But that's just cuz I love unwrapping presents!

With friends we kind of fell into a lovely way of doing things - if we see something we know someone will love, we'll get it, if not, then don't worry about it. There's no obligation. If I receive a gift, I don't feel bad for not getting the other person one, and vice versa.
It makes sense after all - less pressure for everyone and any gifts given aren't something bought for the sake of buying something.