Disgusted/Hurt please help

BARGAINHUNTER!

Hope things are ok ((hugs))

98sidney

Hi op hope you are ok?.

busiscoming2

Hi I have been reading your thread, and wonder how you are. I do hope you have spoken to your oh and found out what has been going on.

cobbingstones

Pls post OP we're all hoping you're ok??

whydoesithappen

Thank you all for your thoughts and wishes. . .

We spoke over dinner and I just came outright and asked if he has realised his phone had called me the night previously whilst he was out, and he was quite surprised and a little taken aback as far as I could see, but he didn't say anything specific just kind of dismissed it and I said that I that I had overheard his conversation that he was having with his 'colleague' hoping that he could elaborate and all he said was yes I was talking to xxxx from the HR dept, and went into some story about what was going on with their dept etc...I told him that I had heard stuff I felt quite uneasy and felt quite hurt by and he said 'sweetheart why would you feel hurt by what I was saying' like he was completely oblivious about it all. . .

So I said that I had never heard him speak to me like that and the things he was saying to this girl came across like their was an underlying intention for more there, and he told me that this girl was the same age as our daughter and that he was just being nice as she is quite new to his workplace, he acknowledged that some of the things he said could be seen as flirting but because he wasn't thinking that way he said he was flattering her?

Anyway to cut a long story short, I said to him that it made me feel quite hurt and the thought of him trying it on with someone our daughters age made him sound like a fool/. I asked why he couldn't call from friends phone and he said that he had tried landline earlier in the evening but it rang out which could be true as I was out with the dog after I heard his conversation I went for a walk to think it over in my head before I posted this post. He said he knew I would be asleep and there would be no point in disturbing me as he felt he would be home soon.

Now I know what you are all thinking I am thinking the same, but I told him in no uncertain terms that the respect element in our marriage has taken a dent and if he were to ever consider doing anything with ANYONE I would be serving up his bits for dinner to our dog!!

garthdp

Well done whydoesithappen.

Now he knows

Minimum_Wage_2

well im not going to say the words but see how things can look when you dont know the full story. only you will know if he was being honest ans whether he was or not it would still have been your choice what you done. i am glad that it worked out okey for you.
thank you for letting us know as we were all feeling for you.

Michelin

I'm glad that you were able to talk to him calmly and as long as you are happy with his explanation, that that is good. Did you ask why he was so late and why he has been staying out later than usual?

whydoesithappen

I know Timmne, I am aware I didn't get the answers I was looking for but still going to keep my eyes open and not be so complacent about where he is and who with, I don't believe in restrictions as that is what trust is there for but he knows I am aware he is not all 'butter wouldnt melt' and that I will be asking why he is working so late. I just need to handle it like this for now, doesn't mean I wont be trying to piece other info together.

jackieb

I'm pleased you managed to talk to him, and managed to let him know how hurt you were. In my opinion going in with all guns blazing doesn't help.

I hope he takes onboard what you've said to him. He needs to be careful in how he talks to the female staff. There may be certain people who won't take things farther (this girl seemed capable of handling herself well), but there's also the chance someone might report him for harassment.