blighted ovum (miscarriage)

Dead_Eye_Jones

sucks, good luck in the future

emma_b_4

mrsmehere i can relate to that, wanting to talk about it, i feel like im obsessed with it sometimes, but it isnt good to bottle it. thats why the ppl on here are great i give my OH a break!
its wierd when ppl act like it hasnt happened i get a bit frustrated and dont know why, like ppl saying "itll be you next" when referring to my nephew being born..................erm HELLO it would have been me in 4months.......

i am dreading seeing some1 and them asking about being preg or something, i was dreadin any pms off here thats another reason i posted too

thankyou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jay-Jay_4

oh chick, it's hard isn't it?

You must give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your pregnancy and all the plans you made. I promise that it will get easier. You still feel sad but the pain goes away in time. x x x

Becles

Just wanted to say sorry to hear your news and send a big *hug*.

I had an early miscarriage and found it really hard to deal with. Time does heal things though and although you are grieving now, I can promise you will feel better in time.

Ignore the nasty comments and look after yourself xx

receipt

Emma (& Emma's OH) I am so sorry for your loss. You must be devastated, especially when people make such insensitve comments. I don't know you but I feel for you & wish there was something I could say. Don't beat yourself up about not getting too excited about the arrival of your nephew, it is only natural you are grieving the loss of your baby. I'm sure this will come in time. Take care of yourselves. I hope you have lots of supportive friends & family.

It was kind & courageous of you to share your experience & to alert us to this condition.

Best wishes
H

chugalug

Just wanted to send you hugs and best wishes.

People can be so insensitve can't they? How were you to know? I had 4 children and miscarried 5 and 6 - number 6 was what happened to you and I had no idea. If I didnt know having had so many children what chance did you have??

What I hated was people saying 'never mind at least you have your other children' Other children don't make it any easier - each child is different and special and wanted. They were already people to me so it wasn't possible to console myself with my other children (why would I do that to them anyway?)

It's very common to miscarry - my doctor said he couldn't understand why I'd never miscarried before!!!!!!!

Please take any offers of help you can - even talking helps. I hope everything turns out ok for you next time.

Best wishes

Spendless

emma I'm really sorry.

In my first pregnancy the 16 week scan showed the baby was so ill he would live at best only a few minutes assumming he could survive pregnancy and childbirth. My pregnancy was terminated as a result. The most insensitive comments at the time and afterwards came from close female relatives:mad: .

This baby had been an accident and it made me broody too, so much that I ignored medical advice to leave it a year before conceiving again (and in hindsight the medical advice was correct). My next 2 pregnancies resulted in healthy babies (boy and girl).

Hugs and I wish you all the best
xx

misty

Emma really sorry you lost your baby and that some people haven't been as supportive as they could. I had two miscarriages before I had my son both times I stopped drinking etc. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it happening. At my hospital they have a miscarriage councillor - I don't know if they have them at all hospitals, it was a specially created post. Apart from the councilling bit, she organises a memorial service each year at the Winter Gardens( I live in Blackpool) it is a service of remembrance for families who have lost children through miscarriage and stillbirth etc. It is a really nice event that acknowledges the loss you have suffered. Even though you didn't go on to have a baby, you were still a mum. I don't know where you live but if you want her number to find out details etc feel free to PM. I really feel for you as I can remember vividly how I felt. Best wishes.

Crispy_Ambulance

So sorry to hear what has happened. So many people assume that a miscarriage is easier to bear because your pregnancy wasn't so far along etc. In fact, you grieve for your lost child and your lost future. You thought your life was going in one direction and suddenly it isn't. And that hurts.

You need to grieve this loss - and it is a real loss - ignore what the horrible people are saying. You were pregnant and sadly that pregnancy didn't work out. It doesn't mean that another pregnancy won't give you a healthy baby but give yourself some time to be sad.

The Miscarriage Association might be helpful

https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

take care

larmy16

Emma, so sorry to hear of your loss. I had a miscarriage many years ago, but I felt very guilty as I had felt like I was carrying something poisonus in my body and wanted it out - like I was carrying an alien - it was horrible and so I was very guilty when they told me there was no pregnancy, the baby had died, poor thing, I felt I had made it die. It was tiny and had no arms or legs.

My next pregnancy resulted in an ectopic, and I was in so much pain and had to have emergency surgery as I was close to death, though was too ill to know really what was happening. However after getting home, I was so angry and bereft - I kept saying they had to give me the baby back, I was out of my mind with grief.

I have never really talked about either of these experiences as I was so ashamed and had put them to the back of my mind until reading your post.

Yes time does heal, but it takes as long as it takes for you to grieve. Be very kind to yourself. I used to drink a lot of wine at that time to ease my pain, but of course eventually had to face up to it all.

Big hug from me.