What would you do please?

Dormouse

I'm not sure what to think of this, and I seem to have two thoughts in my head that are exact opposites.

The nice/romantic thought. He's a lovely person, who growing up with a disturbed father made some strange assumptions about what women want, and hence the clumsiness and awkwardness and embarrassment in sexual relations. But as you two are soulmates, you can work through this.

The cynical thought. He's extemely selfish when it comes to sex and unwilling to change. He seems happy to take but not to give. Maybe he even lied about being a virgin, for whatever reasons? He did not challenge his father when he was being horrid to you. Yes he offers you lifts and looks after your cat, but aren't all boyfriends supposed to do that sort of thing? All in all, doesn't sound like a great catch, so don't waste your time on him.

I am sorry if this sounds awful, I am just thinking out loud. My opinions are only based on what's on this thread, whereas you obviously are the one dealing with the real-life situation.

If it was just the no kissing and he was otherwise wonderful, I would probably stay. But I'm sorry, he sounds so selfish, and there are obviously more issues than just the kissing.

I think the 3-month trial living together sounds like a good plan. See if anything changes, and if not, I would definitely reconsider things.

Good luck.

carefullycautious

There is definately some underlying issues here. The father being one of them. Who knows what he did to his son whilst he was younger?

I think you need to talk to someone in the know about this kind of problem. I would ask to speak to a sex therapist/psychologist who may be able to explain just what is going on here.

You would then be able to make an informed decision as to your future.

Good luck

Bettyboop

Hi,

I think kissing is important as well and especially the french kisses : D. I haven't read every reply but maybe he thinks his breath smells... or he has a few back teeth missing and doesn't want you to know? Hope it's niether. My first kiss was in my parents garden and another was out on the town. Loud music and dancing together might do the trick...

If you ask him why he doesn't want to what does he say?

paddy's_mum

It occurred to me (as I lay down to sleep but then couldn't switch the busy brain off!) to wonder where you are when you make love. If you are in his home, could 'apron string' factors be coming into play?

burnoutbabe

Not kissing when having sex reminds me of "pretty women"

I'd dump him.

though you're not actually dating him now are you? so i;'d just not go back. if he is not willing to try, then why bother?

belfastgirl23

To ask a seriously personal question, do you actually enjoy s*x with him. I mean properly enjoy, not just enjoying making him happy/being close to him or whatever? If you're able to reach fulfilment with this arrangement then I guess maybe it can work....

Souk08

Hey, This guy sounds seriously selfish and yes you do have a tough decision to make. Are you happy to live a life without decent sex to be with someone kind? Only you know the answer to that. For me if you're not having proper sex then you could never really be a couple and are always only going to be friends.