"Bullying" on the forum

ubamother

Off on the tangent again - when my husband says, "well, we'll agree to disagree", what he actually means is "I'm right, you're wrong but I just can't be bothered to make you see this"!!!!!! And yes he has admitted this. I suppose I could have an emotive reaction to this if I thought everyone meant this!

carriebradshaw

I have to say I haven't seen any bullying on OS at all, snippy comments here and there and the odd difference of opinion, but not bullying

OrkneyStar

ubamother wrote: »

Off on the tangent again - when my husband says, "well, we'll agree to disagree", what he actually means is "I'm right, you're wrong but I just can't be bothered to make you see this"!!!!!! And yes he has admitted this. I suppose I could have an emotive reaction to this if I thought everyone meant this!

When I say it I mean 'I think I am right, you think you are right, it might well be possible to have more than one valid opinion, but if not then it doesn't seem we are getting any closer to an agreement (i.e going round in circles!) so lets leave it at that for now'. I would not ever use it to disrespect anyone. Not sure if this explanation is a bit longwinded ubamother, but I hope you get kind of what I mean!
Of course some people like to disagree and cannot bring themselves to agree with anyone else (visit DT if you enjoy diagreement lol!).
(Sorry off on a tangent again but it might be relevant!).
x

momoyama

OrkneyStar wrote: »

All these points are your perogative

Oh yes, absolutely. We'll continue to disagree over this. And long live that mutual right to do so.

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I think I will just stick with 'agree to disagree', much as it annoys you

Fair enough. It only annoys me in as much as any and all of the slights that are made against the English language annoy me. All in the interests of clarity, I would add. English will evolve and so it should. They doesn't mean that some aspects should be promoted. For example, double negatives.

OrkneyStar wrote: »

it is a commonly used phrase!

That doesn't make it right. There are lots of commonly used phrases or incorrectly applied words that arn't correct and are actively misleading.

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Apologies everyone as it seems I have inadvertently helped us to on a slight tangent .

Don't apologise. Tangents are often what make forums fun. I was a member of one forum where going off on tangents was so frowned upon that any slight deviation from topic was harshly dealt with by the mod's. Horrible place.

momoyama

carriebradshaw wrote: »

I have to say I haven't seen any bullying on OS at all, snippy comments here and there and the odd difference of opinion, but not bullying

I suppose it depends on what you percieve to be bullying. I see where you're coming from. Where someone might accuse someone else of being a bully, I might say that that person is obviously a d!ck, but not a bully. "Bully" is a very harsh term that I think is being overused (in life generally, not this board specificall).

rosieben

momoyama wrote: »

Actually it's a contradictory statement. "Agree to differ" is correct, though less memorable.

I disagree in that it's not what "sensible" people have been saying; sensible people just disagree. You make it seem like disagreeing isn't acceptable. I think it's normal whereas "agree to disagree" is pandering to clich! and is completely unnecessary.

I suppose by 'sensible' people I mean people who wouldnt bother to argue over whether or not a phrase is a clich! and is or is not acceptable. We're not sitting an A level here, if someone uses poor (imho) phraseology, makes spelling mistakes or uses bad grammar I move on, those things aren't important. I'm much more interested in what people have to say than whether their use of language is consistent with my own high standards (thats a joke by the way!)

OrkneyStar

momoyama wrote: »

Don't apologise. Tangents are often what make forums fun. I was a member of one forum where going off on tangents was so frowned upon that any slight deviation from topic was harshly dealt with by the mod's. Horrible place.

Seeing as we are disagreeing here and discussing rights and the like, then I will choose to apologise as I see fit!
I see that Rosieben has perfectly said what I was trying to say (thanks Roseiben ), and the discussion of the phrase is what I think takes us off tangent, so I was apologising for my feeding your dissection!

momoyama

rosieben wrote: »

I suppose by 'sensible' people I mean people who wouldnt bother to argue over whether or not a phrase is a clich! and is or is not acceptable. We're not sitting an A level here, if someone uses poor (imho) phraseology, makes spelling mistakes or uses bad grammar I move on, those things aren't important. I'm much more interested in what people have to say than whether their use of language is consistent with my own high standards (thats a joke by the way!)

I disagree, some of that IS important. We're increasingly accepting language that is has to be interpreted first. I'm never going to slam people for making typo's (I make plenty myself) or mis-spelling something. But I strongly believe in people thinking about what they're saying. As I said, all in the interests of clarity.


Sort-of off topic: that's three people who've disagreed with me. That's a clique. You're all bullying me now!

Zazen999

I think you two are going to have to agree to disagree on whether agreeing to disagree is agreeable or disagreeable.

momoyama

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Seeing as we are disagreeing here and discussing rights and the like, then I will choose to apologise as I see fit!

OK, I'm sorry if my tone seemed to be offensive. I just meant that I don't see the harm and that in my view you shouldn't apologise as no transgression had occurred.

OrkneyStar wrote: »

the discussion of the phrase is what I think takes us off tangent, so I was apologising for my feeding your dissection!

What's wrong with that anyway? I wasn't dissecting anyway, just flagging a point as it occurred.