"Bullying" on the forum

ubamother

I think the differences between discussion, disagreement and bullying may be blurred - partly by the reader's own emotional response - two of us could read the same thing, one laugh and the other be very hurt.

How do you think you'd react to these sentences in response to a request you've made for advice - I used the very emotive 'child is a fussy eater' topic and have seen sentences very like these in threads.

'I do something a bit different that worked with my child - I did this - might be an idea' - isn't this lovely?

'Actually I disagree because x always works for me and you must be doing something wrong' - Sensitive souls, and we all have sensitive moments or areas, may feel a bit attacked by this

'Well of course that won't work because you are letting your child win every time/manipulate you/blah blah blah. In 20 years I've never had a fussy child because I .....' - judgemental, negative, belittling - I stopped reading a thread when this started happening - and I wasn't the one asking for advice!!

NualaBuala

I'm always afraid of hurting someone's feelings by my use of the thanks button. I tend to use it if something particularly resonates with me, or if someone addresses a post to me or replies to a question I've asked. So I hope nobody would be offended/hurt if I've left them out - it's never intentional.

zippychick

Can I be honest and say this whole agree/disagree thing - I don't know if it's a joke or not, and I don't understand it (due to my simple brain). Too much use of the words agree/disagree for me:rotfl:

MrsE_2

jennyjelly wrote: »

I remember this compost business well and remember thinking the comments aimed at MrsE were a bit sharp and unnecessary. As I'm a bit of a wimp and would probably burst into tears and never come back if I felt I was the target of such comments I tend to stay out of discussions when I see this sort of 'feistiness' going on. Not everybody can let it bounce off them, some of us are a bit more sensitive and come on here for support, not criticism.

Just remember it says far more about the person making the comments than those recieving them;)

OrkneyStar

zippychick wrote: »

Can I be honest and say this whole agree/disagree thing - I don't know if it's a joke or not, and I don't understand it (due to my simple brain). Too much use of the words agree/disagree for me:rotfl:

I said 'agree to disagree' and Moyo decided to tell me, in great detail, why she disliked that phrase . But we finallly agreed to disagree (well I did, and she just disagreed!). I aplogised as I thought it might be a bit too much for others to wade through!

Nomoneymummy_2

The agreeing to disagree, or disagreeing with the agreeing of disagreeing (??? that made more sense in my head!) anyway the whole tangent made me laugh!! I too happily disagree though!!

Though I agree with the point that if momoyama was of a sensitive fashion she could have viewed it as bullying!!!

Its obv (to me at least) it was all meant in jest but it really did highlight the point of how easy it it to missinterprit much that is said on here....

And spelling and grammer are often an afterthought here as I'm lucky to get through replying without someone interrupting!!

MrsE_2

catman-without_wings wrote: »

I think we all have a view of what OS( and also this board) is and I do sometimes feel that there is perhaps a bit of a "bossy" tone.
My wife who has been a member of MSE for many many years would never ever post on OS under any circumstances for this reason.

This board belongs to all of us.

I agree, its more a bossy tone than a bullying one IMHO.

Some diehard OSers do come across as a bit "their way or the highway". I like to be a little bit OS but as a working wife/mother with an elderly mother I can't be 100% earth mother.
I feel thats fine & I like to pick & choose the bits of OS that suit my family & I.

I like to cook from scratch, but I don't wish to grow my own.
I like to clean throughly, but I like to use every labour saving device & potion on offer.

I'm a little bit OS & a little bit busy working woman:D
We women are masters at multi-tasking:D

ETA what I was trying to say we are all different & different things work for all of us.

OrkneyStar

Nomoneymummy wrote: »

Though I agree with the point that if momoyama was of a sensitive fashion she could have viewed it as bullying!!!

Equally so could I, as it was mainly my posts she choose for dissection!
But I realise she was just having a healthy discussion, even if it was a bit off topic IMHO.

zippychick

I really hope this thread doesn't just turn into a list of things people hate about OS.

LittleMissAspie

Bit surprised to see this message on the OS board but I think the forum as a whole is not as nice to read anymore. I read lots of threads that degenerate into a slanging match or just lots of posts criticising the OP and I am pretty much appalled that people are so rude. Not sure how that can be moderated and it's true that it's not just an MSE problem; I have seen this happen in other very popular forums. I gave up reading those ones because it got so tedious and I am getting to the point where I only look on MSE for something specific, instead of browsing and joining in.