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"Bullying" on the forum

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  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    jennyjelly wrote: »
    There does seem to be a hard core of regulars who clearly spend an awful lot of their day on the site, and they are the backbone of the board.

    But it does leave those of us who just dip a toe in occasionally, either to find out about something or to add a comment if we think we can help, in danger of feeling that we are not part of the in crowd. It's bound to happen.

    I don't post every day, and am by no means on MSE all day (although sometimes it may seem like it as I dip in & out!) but am accepted on my irregular basis - as I think ALL posters are.

    Occasionally there have been the tails ends of bits of unpleasantness that I have seen, but generally they are left behind by either diversionary tactics or everyone just pootling offline & cooling down.

    Some posters can drag topics / comments up from past posts however, which is unnecessary & TBH can be confusing to those like me who don't always read every post every day!
  • Dustykitten
    Dustykitten Posts: 16,507 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Forums to me are similar to 'real' life full of a whole assortment of people and that is what makes them so rich and full of information.

    Lots of people who post on here I would never have as 'friends' in the outside world for many different reasons but that is fine because I can choose to read their posts or not. Sometimes we can learn so much from people who's views are different from our own.

    With regard to friendships and cliques forming when people have posted for a long time they will get to 'know each other' (especially those with good memories). I try to include new comers in my 'conversations' but my memory for names is poor and it would take a lot of posts for me to start to 'remember' somebody, I'm not being rude I just don't have a good memory for names.

    Some people are very easily offended and when asking questions often don't always give all the background (which is fine) and this can lead to misunderstandings.

    The thanks button to me is a funny thing. I thank posts I agree with, that make me laugh, are helpful to me, address me directly. I used to thank all posts on some threads but my internet connection is often not good and the thanks seems to slow it down.
    The birds of sadness may fly overhead but don't let them nest in your hair
  • b4be
    b4be Posts: 116 Forumite
    as admin of another car owners site i see it all ........

    people telling other people they should be shot :eek: for wanting to put certain
    bumper on their car .........

    old argument rear their ugly heads every so often , like modded verses stock

    thats people for you , but they get a telling off and warned ,

    one rule , dont dis people cars , try and say something positive , and if you dont have anything nice to say , dont say anything

    sadly with sites, they become platforms for the few ( especially the bossy , my way or no way types ) instead of a resource for many which they are supposed to be

    lets hope it doesnt get that bad here , be fore warned

    and as its a money saving site , it has to be said

    manners cost nothing :p

    sorry couldnt resist :rolleyes:
  • Triker
    Triker Posts: 7,247 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 13 October 2009 at 5:06PM
    Do you know what, life is too short for this.

    There are members on this board who are going through hell, through circumstances or poor health, some are terminally ill.

    Supporting each other through thick and thin should be what its about, tips, support and advice given freely with no conditions.

    Can't we just keep the ethos of what its supposed to be about, helping in other in tangible or intangible ways, moneysaving or otherwise.

    Please. x
    DFW Nerd 267. DEBT FREE 11.06.08
    Stick to It by R.B. Stanfield
    It matters not if you try and fail,
    And fail, and try again; But it matters much if you try and fail, And fail to try again.
  • I get a spelling and grammar lesson via PM from a "helpful" member for nearly every post I make. I dont think its bullying, but very annoying as they are often typo's.:mad:

    Just found the ignore facility which has made me feel much better.:)
    I am pleased to give hairdressing help or advice, but a thank you doesn't go a miss.
    :D
  • I've lurked on this board for years and I totally understand why this thread is here. It's one of the reasons why I'm more of a lurker than a poster :) I also remember this happening before?

    I think another reason (for the thread) might possibly be that OS is perceived as being a nice homely place where people make jam so insensitive comments stand out more than perhaps they would other places?

    Bullying generally is about power and control and I suppose online bullying on a forum would be about controlling what is discussed, how it is discussed and who is discussing it. And people don't like talking about bullying (upthread someone has set up an alias so they aren't singled out later) so it's good that there is a thread to discuss it.
  • Bitsy_Beans
    Bitsy_Beans Posts: 9,640 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I must be reading a completely different OS board then! I've not noticed any unpleasant comments or behaviour.........(well I also hang out on DT so I guess everything is relative ;))

    I am a regular on the Daily thread.....sure lots of the ladies and gents know each other on there but I just dived in and never even introduced myself :o They have welcomed me in with open arms so find it disappointing that people think because they don't post on a regular basis that their opinions or advice aren't valid. I can't say I've noticed newbies or non regulars being treated with disdain.
    OS is the best board of the bunch and like zippychick says I don't want a list of things that people don't like about OS - there is so much more positive stuff to talk about.
    I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it'll be with a knife :D Louise Brooks
    All will be well in the end. If it's not well, it's not the end.
    Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars
  • helyg
    helyg Posts: 454 Forumite
    edited 13 October 2009 at 5:21PM
    triker wrote: »
    do you know what, life is too short for this.

    There are members on this board who are going through hell, through circumstances or poor health, some are terminally ill.

    Supporting each other through thick and thin should be what its about, tips, support and advice given freely with no conditions.

    Can't we just keep the ethos of what its supposed to be about, helping in other in tangible or intangible ways, moneysaving or otherwise.

    Please. X

    :t:t:t:t:t
  • rosieben
    rosieben Posts: 5,010 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    :t:t:t:t:t Last edited by helyg; Today at 5:21 PM.. Reason: help my clapping smilies don't work!
    ______
    have some of mine hely :T:T:T:T:T
    ... don't throw the string away. You always need string! :D

    C.R.A.P.R.O.L.L.Z Head Sharpener
  • ceridwen
    ceridwen Posts: 11,547 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    rosieben wrote: »

    I'd not be happy if PM's became not so private, not sure how easy it would be to allow guides access to specific posters messages but that could be a way of calming things ;)

    ;)


    There is a world of difference between allowing Board Guides to see PM's and allowing "abuse" to see them. I took it as read that ONLY "abuse" are being proposed as able to see them - I would obviously disagree strongly with Board Guides being able to see them.
This discussion has been closed.
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