"Bullying" on the forum

SarahShattered

Well said Triker...

and I want to publicly say how supportive Penelope Penguin is. I think she's a fantastic board guide, who takes a lot of stick, when she really shouldn't have to.

I think one of the problems is that it's so hard to convey intent. When I'm whizzing on to answer a quick query I do try very hard to ensure my words can't be misconstrued. But I'm sure that at some point I've probably offended someone completely unintentionally.

But generally this board is friendly and fun. :j :j :j

MrsE_2

catman-without_wings wrote: »

Take your word for it Mrs E:rotfl: Wouldn't know as (despite my fantastic cooking:rotfl::rotfl:-not!) I am 100% male. Honest.

Men can cook catman, I know that.

Jamie Oliver is my hero:smileyhea;)

helyg

Oh I'm going to be so naughty now, and ridiculously pedantic, but I just couldn't resist (and please momoyama take it in the jokey manner in which it is intended)... but shouldn't that be "whose" ?

<runs and hides>

momoyama wrote: »

Not talking about MSE specifically, but on forums generally (and real life too), there's two things that irritate the hell out of me:
1. People that abuse the English language
2. People that get annoyed with people who get annoyed with people that abuse the English language.

I'm not talking about typo's or spelling mistakes and I can certainly forgive dyslexia but people that abuse English or just don't care are (in my view) dragging this country down. Yes I know, language evolves and so it should. But language should also be about clarity and therein lies the problem.

You talk of people typing fast due to time constraints. I understand this, my time is as limited as anyone's. The flip side is that badly constructed posts take time to interpret. So I won't try any more. I know I'm not alone in this. I have only recently started pruning Facebook friends who's indecipherable ramblings take up my news page.

We're also talking on here as to how posts can be construed in terms of offense or bullying. In my mind, badly constructed posts are a large part of this. If tone or intent can't be properly conveyed in well constructed posts then what effect will bad posts have.

I suspect that this will be an unpopular view. I'm not setting out to offend anyone, but this is my honest view. Forums thrive on use of English... so use English. Please. I would also add that I have been guilty of correcting people when there's been significant transgressions e.g. "your" instead of "you're". I've never resorted to PMs to do this as it's not necessary. I'm trying to not do it, but just ignore the thread entirely. For my own (slipping) sanity.

soappie

SarahShattered wrote: »

Well said Triker...

and I want to publicly say how supportive Penelope Penguin is. I think she's a fantastic board guide, who takes a lot of stick, when she really shouldn't have to.

I will second that and third it and fourth it and nth it. Penelope Penguin has her views, as we all do but I've never, ever, known her to bully. In fact, she and all the other board guides do a fantastic, and often thankless task. Pen Pen if you're reading, don't leave love, we need you xxx

rosieben

ceridwen wrote: »

There is a world of difference between allowing Board Guides to see PM's and allowing "abuse" to see them. I took it as read that ONLY "abuse" are being proposed as able to see them - I would obviously disagree strongly with Board Guides being able to see them.

Nobody is proposing anything as far as I know, this is just an ongoing discussion on this thread as you'll see if you read through from the beginning.

I don't want PM's to become un-private either, but what I said was that guides maybe allowed access to specific posters pms where there have been complaints about bullying, for 'guides' read 'abuse or guides' - it was just a thought.....

flubberyzing

I've not really seen any site of what I'd call bullying on the forums. I've seen a few instances where I've thought "they didn't say that very gently!" Particularly on the "Debt-free wannabe" forum. I've not seen it on "old style" though! However, I'm mostly a lurker who visits about once or twice a day because I find it interesting.
A few years back I was very active on another forum and learnt some valuable lessons there. Number one being don't give out what you wouldn't want to have back. Secondly, if there is a post that really upsets you, that you want to comment back to, I always used to type it in a Word document, save it and then leave for the night, thinking "I'll post it in the morning". By the time the morning came, I'd either completely forgotten about it or didn't care any more. 9 times out of 10 I didn't end up posting it at all.
It's worth a go, it stops a lot of words being said in haste, without really thinking about the consequences.

HariboJunkie

rosieben wrote: »

Nobody is proposing anything as far as I know, this is just an ongoing discussion on this thread.

I don't want PM's to become un-private either, but one thought was that guides may be allowed access to specific posters pms where there have been complaints about bullying.

I didn't see any proposals for BG's to see pms either. I thought this thread was simply a warning from Andrea for those who have been persistently nasty to other posters either on the board or by pm. I think it's far better if people just report pms they feel are abusive and/or use the ignore function.;) The BGs have enough work already, done on a voluntary basis and for which they receive plenty of unwarranted criticism. Penny and Pink both do a fine job. :T

zippychick

HariboJunkie wrote: »

The BGs have enough work already, done on a voluntary basis and for which they receive plenty of unwarranted criticism. Penny and Pink both do a fine job. :T

plus one. *this message is too short*

geordie_joe

HariboJunkie wrote: »

I didn't see any proposals for BG's to see pms either.

Someone suggested it as a possible solution, a user not anyone officially connected with the forum.

savvy

Blummin HECK...................it's a very very sad day when Andrea has to post something like that on this board!! I'm shocked and stunned that any ounce of even a slight disagreement has occurred here as this has always been a very warm and welcoming board, even for those of us who can only flit in and out at odd times. What's more sickening is that this board and it's collective wisdom was chosen as an MSE publication, and yet it can degrade into pettiness :eek:

I hope all of those involved can find some way of moving forward in a positive fashion and get this extremely useful board back to being the flagship it once was, very soon.