I just do not know what to do

nm123_2

tinatony1 wrote: »

Hi Mutter and everyone else.

please do not worry about me i am not suicidal. I agree that i have not taken everyones advice but i guess i still too confused in some ways, i have found it all very useful please believe me.

also please believe me when i say that i am not letting him walk al over me, i have always been too strong for that, however "my plan" and it is not really a plan as such just how i am going through every emotion under the sun, seems to be having an effect.

H will be spending christmas with me,

he has finally begun to talk to me about what has happened and has admitted what he has done was the worst thing he could have done to me and he has apologised for it.

he is unhappy with her and has admitted he was a fool and that the grass is never greener

i will also be seeing a close friend of us both today and we will talk about what is going on, this will help me in a big way.

i have told him that i cannot just wait around forever for him to make a decision and that i have been getting used to my life without him, it may be hard, it is very hard but there is life, even if it is not particuarly happy at the moment.

i have said that if he were to wish to try to repair our relationship then it will take alot of effort on his part as well as mine.

in some ways now the ball is in his court but if it goes out of play i will survive.

Hello Tina,

It sounds as if you are in control of the situation, which is what I think people on here wanted for you. Only you know if it's right or not, so I wish you the very best of luck with it all.

Without sounding pessimistic, if it does all go tits up, I think you'll be more ready for it now, seeing as you've just spent some time on your own, you've almost done a dummy-run. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger eh?

NM x

worriedsik

Hi Tina

I agree at least its a step in the right direction & whether it goes tits up or not its progress of sorts.

good luck and have a good christmas x

tinatony1

thank you all once again, i have said it before you have all proved to be a great source of support. i dread to think what sort of state i would have been in without you all.

all i can do at the moment is take it one day at a time and try not to look to far forward into the future.

i have started to read more and last night i restarted to make some greetings cards, something i used to do alot before all this happened but havent had the least bit of interest in just lately.

i am sending you all a virtual christmas present and hope we all have the best christmas we can depending on whatever our circumstances are.

i am going to sign off for a little while now, have a shower, wash my hair and put some slap on

see you all later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

lilmissmup

Pollycat wrote: »

Mutter, I thought the same thing, Tina did mention kids early on in the thread, though:



At least Tina sounds sensible enough not to see having a baby as a way to 'save her marriage' as some people do.

44?
Hmmm, I think mid-life crisis.
My ex-OH had HIS mid-life crisis early at the age of 33.

Mine had his at 30.....:rolleyes: Not for another woman but just running away from us.

Glad your getting out today Tina

jack*tigger

Mine had his at 27 - but then he always has been a grumpy sod !!! We split for a month (no-one else involved) and have now been married for 15 years - 2 kids.

Men can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em !

Anyway Tina .. I hope that this is the beginning of a reconciliation between you and H. If it is make sure he realises how lucky he is.

Be happy !

Mely

Hi Tina, i am pleased that your h is spending Christmas with you Its a good sign. Has he mentioned how the other woman feels about that?
Mel x

smartpicture

Mely wrote: »

Hi Tina, i am pleased that your h is spending Christmas with you Its a good sign. Has he mentioned how the other woman feels about that?
Mel x

Or if she knows about it? He could have told her he was spending it with his mum & dad without mentioning you.

When it happened to me, my ex "came back to me" on Xmas Eve, and we had a fantastic Xmas where I thought everything was back on track and we were a couple again, only for him to go back to her at New Year. I found out later (by talking to her directly) that he told her he was spending Xmas with his mum & dad and it was too soon to take her there, but he would be back in time for their first New Years party they were hosting as a couple. When challenged later, he admitted he just didn't want to spend Xmas with 'her screeching kids', so thought he'd have a nice peaceful Xmas with me instead (with me of course happy and grateful he was back), while keeping both of us sweet and his options open.

I'm not trying to burst your bubble (even that didn't stop me loving my ex!), all I'm saying is, enjoy the positive step towards what you want, but don't accept everything he says at face value - he is unfortunately a proven accomplished liar.

blackpongo1

Hi have been lurking in this post for ages well 12 days to be be precise my husband came home out of the blue and announced that he wanted to leave me and the 3 kids for the only reason he is unhappy and numb i have now reached the crossroads of life where i am stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea I am normanlly a strong person but this has knocked me for six ,do i let him stay for xmas for the sake for the kids and give him a happy yet false xmas do i take the decision to make him leave any advice thoughts greatly recieved

Michelin

Blackpongo, sorry to hear this. Is he just needing to take some time out to think about what he wants or is he saying it is all over? Would a separation work so that you can both consider what you and if you want to save your marriage?

worriedsik

blackpongo1 wrote: »

Hi have been lurking in this post for ages well 12 days to be be precise my husband came home out of the blue and announced that he wanted to leave me and the 3 kids for the only reason he is unhappy and numb i have now reached the crossroads of life where i am stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea I am normanlly a strong person but this has knocked me for six ,do i let him stay for xmas for the sake for the kids and give him a happy yet false xmas do i take the decision to make him leave any advice thoughts greatly recieved

hi blackpongo

sorry to here that you have had this shock news x
it might be a good idea to start your own thread , iam wondering what ages your children are before i give my opinion