I just do not know what to do

mumslave

I am so sorry tina. I really am, I cant believe H could have a lady like you, so loyal even now, but chosen to go with a lassie whom seems to think nothing of shacking up with a married man. It really is his loss.

Can I just say, he still seems to want to keep you hanging on, dangling there in case he changes his mind. Now I know you are going to do your own thing, fair enough, but please think hard about letting him do this to you. He has chosen her, now he needs to lie in the bed he made....not come running to you every time he feels he can be bothered. Every time you think you are starting to move on, he will come back and bring you back down again. Put that strength you have to better use now, taking care of yourself, cutting him out from your life and moving forward xxx

Money_maker

So sorry, Tina, one day at a time at the moment.

You are not alone - you can see folks on here have been thinking of you.

I have no advice on how to get over it - only to ensure that you look after yourself, make sure you eat something etc.

There will be a light at the end of the tunnel - it's just too far away to see at the moment.

Hugs x

IWish

Tina - I am so very sorry for everything you are going through and I know it's hard to believe that you will get through this - but you will. I agree with Mumslave and Moneymaker - you need to look after yourself now. You are in my (and so many others') thoughts. Big Hugs xx

salesaddict

So sorry Tina, he is such a mug.
Thinking of you and wishing you all the very best

BilberryCharlotte

Hi Tina

I have been following this thread, hoping that things would turn out as you hoped and that you would be happy.

It seems that was not to be, but you have yourself and who else do you need ?. You are a loyal and loving woman, gifts that most people would treasure in a partner. For the moment look afer yourself, and when you feel a little stronger, start doing things that give you pleasure, or make you feel you have achieved something. Small steps at first I guess, but eventually you will find you are loving life and then maybe someone will walk into your life and you will wonder how you could ever have loved someone else.

Sending you lots of hugs and best wishes for your new future. x

tinatony1

i keep wandering aroung the house, having pretend conversations with him or myself, not quite sure who really.

the most stupid thing is i would still have him back, i keep having a dream where he turns up in the middle of the night begging my forgiveness

why doesnt he want me anymore

Money_maker

Cos he's a fool, honey. And by the time he's realised that, so will you.

You are a very special person and you will find someone who's worthy of your affection. Just remember its not you, but him. Try empowering yourself by imagining a different scenario for your future, perhaps something you've always wanted to do. Then do it.

x

nm123_2

I'm sorry to hear things didn't turn out how you wanted Tina But at the very least, you now know.

Don't worry about feeling strong right now, take things an hour at a time. The bigger picture is too much to worry about and take in at the moment, so break it down in to manageable pieces. One of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years (mutual decision) earlier this year and she found the "whole" thing too big to cope with. The "where will I live, I don't want to be alone, I don't want things to change, what happens now" was all too much, so instead she would literally take things in as small chunks as she could.

I really think now is the time to call on friends and family for support, if you haven't already. And maybe the doctor too. Do your work know what's going on? Is there some way you can take some time off, even for just a few days?

You need to let the grief/sadness happen. Don't try and fight it and worry that you're not handling things properly... Do what you need to - cry under a duvet for hours, don't get dressed, don't leave the house, eat ice cream and chocolate, whatever it takes and then one day you will feel better. I promise.

Lots of love Tina, stay on here if you can, it's good to chat to people

Sexy_Legs

Oh Tina

I am so sorry it has not worked out for you, as everyone else has said, one hour, one day at a time.

Lots of people here to give you the support and help you need to get through this.

((hugs))

tinatony1

nm123 wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear things didn't turn out how you wanted Tina But at the very least, you now know.

Don't worry about feeling strong right now, take things an hour at a time. The bigger picture is too much to worry about and take in at the moment, so break it down in to manageable pieces. One of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years (mutual decision) earlier this year and she found the "whole" thing too big to cope with. The "where will I live, I don't want to be alone, I don't want things to change, what happens now" was all too much, so instead she would literally take things in as small chunks as she could.

I really think now is the time to call on friends and family for support, if you haven't already. And maybe the doctor too. Do your work know what's going on? Is there some way you can take some time off, even for just a few days?

You need to let the grief/sadness happen. Don't try and fight it and worry that you're not handling things properly... Do what you need to - cry under a duvet for hours, don't get dressed, don't leave the house, eat ice cream and chocolate, whatever it takes and then one day you will feel better. I promise.

Lots of love Tina, stay on here if you can, it's good to chat to people

I dont have anyone i can talk to

i needed my dad for some help earlier, to do with work and all he said was that he had other things on on the days i needed him and that was that but he still wants my help with this and that, i just want to go away and hide
i cant tell work whats is really going on as i work with one of his sisters and as we are not telling his mum and dad ( because of his dads operation) yet i cant say anything to anyone else, to be honest i dont want to because i feel so ashamed by it all

i cant take any time off work because we have exam time during the next 2 weeks and nobody else is available to do it, we are so pushed

i am just on the verge of tears all the time, everytime i think of anything it is to do with H.

He says he wants to help me through this, and i just keep thinking that the only way he can do that is to stop it.

i am trying to eat but everything makes me feel sick, i manage a few mouthfuls and thats it, i know i have to eat as i feel so weak but i physically cant, i am now at the lowest weight i have been for 11 years, so as a diet plan its bl***y fantastastic:rolleyes:

i tried to explain to H how i feel but he just gets angry, i physically attacked him on saturday, didnt hurt him as i am not very strong, but managed to hurt my self, i have bruise from where i was trying to hit him, i am so ashamed of being like this.

i tried to tell him that i dont understand how Love can just disappear and i dont and he cant or wont tell me why he feels like he does