Absolutely fuming with school!!

tandraig

milliebear - what do you mean a proper chance to answer a complaint? the OP has given the school every chance. she has been MORE than reasonable. if it had been me - i would have been in headmasters office the next day! and the police station after that! it was a sexual assualt on a child! dont know about you but as an adult anyone doing that to me would have had a punch to the face!
so - you think do you that a bit more penpushing and maybe a bit more runaround by the school is in order?
i will finish the post now as it will get abusive - I really feel for shellsuits daughter - its not a nice introduction to comprehensive school is it?

milliebear00001

I mean exactly what I stated earlier. A formal complaint about the school's communication problems, and a stipulated one week response time. I don't think that's unreasonable.

As I understand it, a formal complaint has not been made about the communication issue. The assault is separate, has almost certainly been investigated by the school, and the school have concluded there is little they can do to identify the perpetrator.

Why do you feel the thread need become abusive?

suseb_99

Hi, Shellsuit, I am really sorry all this has happened to your daughter, I am sure she is just fed up with it all but I am completely shocked by the schools lack of action in this matter, If this had of happened in a workplace between adults it would be considered a sexual assault, yet as it was someone underage they seem to be taking it less seriously... whereas I would have assumed it would have been the other way about...
I realise this is probably irrevelant but are the 2 " nice" boys related to a member of staff or member of the board etc... or is that me being really really cynical !!

daska

milliebear I understand exactly where you're coming from but this is a case of sexual assault, quite probably by 14-15 year olds, against a 12 year old. It took place over 2 weeks ago. Regardless of whether the perpetrator could be identified the Head should have been informed and it should have been dealt with seriously and appropriately. When there was a problem with inappropriate behaviour which involved my son I was told by the staff at both my son's and my daughter's schools to call the police as this behaviour was unacceptable. This incident is more serious than the one my son was subjected to!

tandraig

because milliebear - you seem intent on dragging things on!
shellsuit has already said that pressure has been brought to bear on her daughter so she has said she doesnt know - could have been accident- you happy with that? I wouldnt be.
the longer this drags on the worse it gets.
if it happened to my daughter - i would have been in heads office trying to explain why two boys were knocked down the stairs!!! my daughter is like me. dont take any sh*t
the OPs daughter is different - she is being intimidated by school - because they dont want any trouble!
the school has not dealt with prob - indeed - have tried to sweep it under carpet.
i think OP should go ahead and involve anyone she can in this - including head, governors and blooming press if need be!!!

milliebear00001

daska wrote: »

milliebear I understand exactly where you're coming from but this is a case of sexual assault, quite probably by 14-15 year olds, against a 12 year old. It took place over 2 weeks ago. Regardless of whether the perpetrator could be identified the Head should have been informed and it should have been dealt with seriously and appropriately. When there was a problem with inappropriate behaviour which involved my son I was told by the staff at both my son's and my daughter's schools to call the police as this behaviour was unacceptable. This incident is more serious than the one my son was subjected to!

The police will do nothing, as the school claimed to have investigated the assault adequately. The daughter has already requested she be allowed to get on with forgetting the whole unpleasant incident. I don't see what more the school can do in terms of investigating. The complaint is that the school did not adequately communicate with the OP, which seems perfectly true.

milliebear00001

tandraig wrote: »

because milliebear - you seem intent on dragging things on!
shellsuit has already said that pressure has been brought to bear on her daughter so she has said she doesnt know - could have been accident- you happy with that? I wouldnt be.
the longer this drags on the worse it gets.
if it happened to my daughter - i would have been in heads office trying to explain why two boys were knocked down the stairs!!! my daughter is like me. dont take any sh*t
the OPs daughter is different - she is being intimidated by school - because they dont want any trouble!
the school has not dealt with prob - indeed - have tried to sweep it under carpet.
i think OP should go ahead and involve anyone she can in this - including head, governors and blooming press if need be!!!

I don't think I'm dragging anything on. I am trying to give a measured response to an unpleasant situation that will give the best outcome for the OP and her daughter. I really don't see what else you think the school can do in regard to the original assault? Your response - is far from measured, and hardly helpful advice. How exactly will the OP's child benefit from being splashed all over the local rag?

poet123

It is very easy to let emotions run riot in such a situation, but letting them control your actions rarely achieves long term success. I think that the best course of action would have been to write out a letter of complaint (about the assault) on the Friday evening, and to have delivered it personally on Monday morning, and asked for a meeting with someone from the SMT (Senior Management Team). Presented the letter and left them in no doubt that you expected the matter to be treated seriously, and that you had a timescale in mind for a response. This would have meant that the matter was formalised and therefore more likely to be investigated, and an acceptable outcome achieved. That said, even outside the rarified atmosphere of schools "crimes" remain unsolved, despite the best eforts of the police, so it cannot be assured that even if it was fully investigated the person concerned would be identified.

However, any parent should be assured that any school will act in such a situation, and act quickly and firmly to send a message that such behaviour is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated. As someone said earlier this incident should at the very least have prompted a series of cross year talks about inappropriate touching and the impact on the victim, and the consequences for the perpetrator. A clear message, that their card has been marked.

However, none of this will now help the OP's daughter. All that can be done now is to ensure the school know of your dissatisfaction with the way the matter has been handled, and a veiled reference to the fact that the next parent may not be so reasonable would not go amiss.

Like Milliebear said, no point rocking the boat at this stage, the horse has bolted, and the relationship with the school still has a long time to go, it would be counter productive and achieve nothing but possible repercussions for the child. At the very least the family will be regarded "warily".

I hope it works out, and that the OP's daughter can put the matter out of her mind, and get on with enjoying school.

daska

milliebear00001 wrote: »

The police will do nothing, as the school claimed to have investigated the assault adequately. The daughter has already requested she be allowed to get on with forgetting the whole unpleasant incident. I don't see what more the school can do in terms of investigating. The complaint is that the school did not adequately communicate with the OP, which seems perfectly true.

Did you read my post? You're the one who's obsessed with the police, I haven't at any point suggested that the OP contact the police. I did point out that in my experience the Heads of my children's schools took a proactive stance towards dealing with a problem instead of trying to brush it under the carpet as seems to have been the case here. If this were one of my children's schools I would have expected the Head, not just the HOY to have been initiating contact with me to assure me that they were taking the complaint seriously. I actually wrote:

daska wrote: »

TBH I'd be bypassing the HOY and leaving a message for the Head to say that as the school obviously doesn't have or isn't following appropriate procedures to deal with assault you're at the point of ringing the LEA.

Which would give the Head a chance to review what had happened and choose how to respond.

Puzzledbubbles

Hope it goes ok this morning!