Absolutely fuming with school!!

hollydays

One part of me thinks the very least the school could do, at the moment,is to get yourself and your daughter together in the office and let HER know that she is absolutely right to be upset,and to let her know she is fully supported by them in her feelings.There is no way she should come out of this with a feeling that she is unimportant/making a fuss.Well done Shellsuit.You must make them do a proper investigation.

Reggie_Rebel

Phone calls, emails. Waste of time.

Get down the school, they don't want you to do this as it's easier to fob you off on the phone or ignore and email.

Get down there and sort it out.

foxy-roxy

Shellsuit, i think you sound like such a brilliant, understanding caring mum, and are handling this very well.
You are right, storming down the school shouting and screaming is not going to solve anything, it will just make you look crazy and probably embarrass you're kids.
Being calm and in control is the best way, but also showing them that you won't just let it go away.
Well done, and hugs to your DD.

Minxy_Bella

bonty44 wrote: »

Can I just point out (and please don't think I'm being flippant because I'm not intending to) that just because someone is HOY does not mean that they don't have lessons. When I worked as HOY, my 'free' periods were all on a Thursday a.m. and Friday p.m., which meant that sometimes it was physically very difficult to phone a parent because the rest of the time I was teaching. You can't leave a class unsupervised to make or take a phone call. Break / lunch times were when I tried to catch up on phone calls but invariably, life in school meant that several incidents had happened in the morning and I was chasing my tail with those, setting up my lessons for the next session and trying to catch up on phonecalls. HOY very rarely get sufficient time to do both roles properly; my school had 30 timetabled lessons; I taught 25 and had 5 free periods; not all of these were allocated to HOY role and inevitably, in those days, 1 or 2 would have been used up doing cover.

Also I used to stay at school until evening to catch up on phonecalls but stopped this when a parent became very abusive on the phone (not my fault he was down the pub at 4.45 and said I had no right to phone him on his time off - so we can't win, can we) No wonder I stepped down as HOY after 3 years as I felt it impossible to do everything justice.

I absolutely know how you felt as I was a HOY for 6 1/2 years and was run ragged, especially as I have 3 children of my own. But I do think sexual assault has to take priority over a kid cheeking a teacher. IMO.

This thread has reminded me of a phase in my yeargroup where 1 or 2 boys would grab the girls' nipples. You know, I was quite close to those kids and it took them a full year to tell me. They certainly hadn't told their parents. It only came out when a girl was assaulted on a staircase (!) and the parents complained.

I found out who it was and I wanted to throttle the little sh*t - I managed to get him excluded for a few days but of course, his ruddy mother kicked up a fuss about his rights yada yada. Don't get me started.

Anyway, the upshot of this was that I was heavily pregnant at the time and had received a death threat against me and my unborn baby (anonymous letter through the post to school) and this particular boy was one of probably only two boys it was likely to have been. As I described him to the police, the officer said that it was vital that any sexual assaults in schools were reported to them as it gave them an idea who to look out for further down the line when the severity of the assaults increased. Which they do, if the kids get away with 'testing the waters' at school.


Shellsuit - I feel so awful for your poor daughter and I think you're right not to have stormed in there shouting the odds but if you feel the school are fobbing you off, then I would up the ante and go to the governors. SOMEONE knows who did this to your child - a good investigation would root them out. Don't let this be brushed under the carpet, hun - even though it's hassle for the school, it's their job to sort it. And now!

xxx

maggied_2

Shellduit - just wanted to add my words of support.

Your daughter has every right to go to school without being groped. If this happened out there in the "real world" it would be classed as an offence.

Whether this be hormonal high jinks by "lovely lads" (pur-lease) or a dirty little !!!!er seeing how far he can go it isn't acceptable.

If someone touched my bum or anything else (!) in a public place they'd get the b*ll*cking of their life - just because it's happened in a school enviroment doesn't make it any different.

The school may want to brush this under the carpet but it is their repsonsibility to ensure that they are providing a safe environment for ALL pupils to learn in. Your daughter needs to feel as though she has been heard and their policy on this needs to be completely unambiguous.

The age difference should also be a concern to the school - Year 10 is 14-15 year olds and Year 7 is 11-12 year olds as I remember it (1st year and 4th year??!!) - there's a big difference in sexual maturity there.

Good luck with it anyway and don't be put off.

Your daughter is very lucky to have you.

C xx

LJM

well said

Minxy_Bella

I've just remembered that I was in a nightclub a few years ago and some oik put his hand between my legs, from behind, while I was dancing.

When I whirled around, there were two little duts stood there, sniggering. I snarled at them that if they did that again, I'd f*cking chin them (and I really do look like a lady but can swear like a fishwife when necessary!). They sloped off - but I still felt ruddy violated at the age of 37, so goodness knows how the poor child felt.

I hadn't picked up on the age difference either - to me, that is even more alarming!

xxx

Gingham_Ribbon

I just wanted to add to this because there are plenty of teachers who will do everything they can to resolve this sort of situation. When a girl I was responsible for was sexually assaulted in school the first thing I did (as soon as lessons were over) was go to her house to speak to her mum.

shellsuit

bonty44 wrote: »

Can I just point out (and please don't think I'm being flippant because I'm not intending to) that just because someone is HOY does not mean that they don't have lessons. When I worked as HOY, my 'free' periods were all on a Thursday a.m. and Friday p.m., which meant that sometimes it was physically very difficult to phone a parent because the rest of the time I was teaching. You can't leave a class unsupervised to make or take a phone call. Break / lunch times were when I tried to catch up on phone calls but invariably, life in school meant that several incidents had happened in the morning and I was chasing my tail with those, setting up my lessons for the next session and trying to catch up on phonecalls. HOY very rarely get sufficient time to do both roles properly; my school had 30 timetabled lessons; I taught 25 and had 5 free periods; not all of these were allocated to HOY role and inevitably, in those days, 1 or 2 would have been used up doing cover.

Also I used to stay at school until evening to catch up on phonecalls but stopped this when a parent became very abusive on the phone (not my fault he was down the pub at 4.45 and said I had no right to phone him on his time off - so we can't win, can we) No wonder I stepped down as HOY after 3 years as I felt it impossible to do everything justice.

Hi, I fully understand that, but I was promised those phone calls which never materialised. I didn't expect them, I was told I would be contacted, so I'd expect, with a case like this, that she would have made time in her weekly schedule to get back to me.

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

I just wanted to add to this because there are plenty of teachers who will do everything they can to resolve this sort of situation. When a girl I was responsible for was sexually assaulted in school the first thing I did (as soon as lessons were over) was go to her house to speak to her mum.

Hi GR! Well you'd expect that wouldn't you? You wouldn't expect to be first told by your child when they get home from school would you?



Well anyway, I rang school way before 9am and asked why HOY hadn't contacted me yesterday. She was in a meeting and I was promised yet again that she would ring me afterwards so I said that if I didn't hear from her I would be coming at the end of the school day.

Nothing from her as yet.


The male teacher then rang me at 9.30am and said that he thought it was all sorted?! I said No, you told me on the Friday that you would ring me back 3rd period (before, during or after, can't remember specifically which) on Monday as I wanted to speak to DD properly to get her version of events.

He apologised for not getting back to me and said that he would get DD from her lesson to go through the system to point out some faces again.

I told him that I was not happy at all with yesterdays conversation with HOY, who basically said we don't know who did it so it looks like it was accidental and that someone had brushed past her.

I explained that NO that wasn't the case, that DD can still specifically say and show me what happened.

He said he PROMISES to get back to me today....we'll see!!

I want a meeting with HOY firstly to complain about the lack of communication, yet I can't communicate with with them to get a meeting, hillarious!

So, come 3pm I'll be getting myself and the baby ready (baby is 5 months old) and will park my butt at reception till HOY will see me.

I know I said I would be going this morning, but the kids prefered if I went at the end of the day as all pupils have to go past reception to get to class so they would have seen me ~ then the gossip would have started (from the other pupils who know my 2).

Minxy_Bella

Is the male teacher your kid's form tutor, hun?