Absolutely fuming with school!!

shellsuit

cheapscate wrote: »

be very carefull when you deal with the school and remember they will do everything they can to safeguard their good reputation - they may try to 'play down' the incident or make it seem trivial so that you don't involve police/govenors etc. Unfortunately I have experience of something similar - my autistic DS was so badly beaten up at school that I had to collect him from school and take him to A&E - the school tried to down play what had happened but I involved the police who dealt with it really well , the school managed to record over the CCTV footage of the attack before the police could see it!!! I had always had a really good relationship with the school and felt so let down by them but I realise now that nothing is as important as their good reputation to them, It is up to you to stick up for your DS - don't rely on the school.

Oh your poor son, that's awful!

I'm going to make some notes to take with me to school so that I know exactly what I want to say. If they do try to play it down they will get a shock as I'll let my ex and OH get involved then.

Bunnie1982

Your daughter must feel really upset about this incident! I had a rather bad incident happen to me when I was in year 7, in one of our classes we had to sit in alphabetical order around the tables which left me sitting next to this really horrible guy who tried to cop a feel of me under the desk. Obviously I reported it to the teacher as I was really upset but they were very dismissive, along with my form tutor. I didn't want to sit next to this lad any more so I started bunking off that lesson by intentionally making myself sick.

My parents weren't informed and I was too embaressed to tell them.

It's great that you are being so supportive, I think the school have let you and your daughter down over this incident and hope that you manage to get it resolved.

shellsuit

Bunnie1982 wrote: »

Your daughter must feel really upset about this incident! I had a rather bad incident happen to me when I was in year 7, in one of our classes we had to sit in alphabetical order around the tables which left me sitting next to this really horrible guy who tried to cop a feel of me under the desk. Obviously I reported it to the teacher as I was really upset but they were very dismissive, along with my form tutor. I didn't want to sit next to this lad any more so I started bunking off that lesson by intentionally making myself sick.

My parents weren't informed and I was too embaressed to tell them.

It's great that you are being so supportive, I think the school have let you and your daughter down over this incident and hope that you manage to get it resolved.

Thannks bunnie, so sorry similar happened to you xxx

RaRa

What an awful thing to happen to your dd.

It is not acceptable for the school to diminish what happened. Your dd seems quite clear about it, this was not someone accidently brushing past her.


I think a special mum and daughter day is needed. I think it needs to be made very clear to your dd that no-one doubts her word. (Am sure you have done this already).

I am assuming the school has some kind of policy/guidance to follow when an incident such as this occurs?


I would want to view this policy and perhaps provide some feedback to the school on how they can improve it should something of this nature occur in their school ever again.

Perhaps ask your daughter what she would have liked to happen and feed this back to the school too. For instance was she even asked if she wanted mum to come and get her?


As she was so upset by the incident I don’t think taking a statement and sending her back to class was the best thing to do.

I don’t have children and haven’t been near a school in years so feel free to ignore me here, this is not my area of expertise.

shellsuit

RaRa wrote: »

What an awful thing to happen to your dd.

It is not acceptable for the school to diminish what happened. Your dd seems quite clear about it, this was not someone accidently brushing past her.


I think a special mum and daughter day is needed. I think it needs to be made very clear to your dd that no-one doubts her word. (Am sure you have done this already).

I am assuming the school has some kind of policy/guidance to follow when an incident such as this occurs?


I would want to view this policy and perhaps provide some feedback to the school on how they can improve it should something of this nature occur in their school ever again.

Perhaps ask your daughter what she would have liked to happen and feed this back to the school too. For instance was she even asked if she wanted mum to come and get her?


As she was so upset by the incident I don’t think taking a statement and sending her back to class was the best thing to do.

I don’t have children and haven’t been near a school in years so feel free to ignore me here, this is not my area of expertise.

Ahh thanks for taking time out to respond to me rara!

Yes, DD was upset but was sent back to class, this is another thing I'm unhappy about. She knows none of us at home dispute what she has said. Oh I've just remember, when it happened, DD was with a friend and this girl gave a statement also. She didn't see who did it either, but she knew something had definitely happened.

I spoke to DD earlier and asked if she was ok with me persuing with it all and she said she didn't mind. Don't think she wants to cause a fuss/scene either, but I know she's not happy with the lack of contact also.

Oldernotwiser

I think Shellsuit's dealing with it very sensibly in speaking to the school without upsetting her daughter. If it isn't possible to work out who did this then there's not much more the school can do - it's their lack of communication that's the problem.

shellsuit

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think Shellsuit's dealing with it very sensibly in speaking to the school without upsetting her daughter. If it isn't possible to work out who did this then there's not much more the school can do - it's their lack of communication that's the problem.

Thank you! :T



I'm sure I've said that before on the thread but obviously I should have gone marching down there, caused a scene and made a holy show of my DD and DS.

I mean, they only have to go to school for another X amount of years and when a mad parent comes in ranting and raving, the pupils never gossip about it and spread it all around the school, do they? :rolleyes:

I'm not laying down the law with them by saying catch whoever did it and castrate them, I would have just liked to have been informed throughout, that's all.

Also, until people have been in this situation, they really don't have a clue what they would do. It's OK saying, 'if that was my kid I would do this and that' when you're not on the receiving end.

Witsend_2

My son is year 10 and he knows right from wrong, I/he would be mortified if he got in to trouble at school end of. I am so sorry as a mum to both sexes that this has happened to your DD. May you and DD have answers, don't give up on this. Divorce was once unheard of how long will it be before this kind of abuse is accecpted? not by brushing it under the carpet but just because. Keep pushing for answers your DD deserves the truth. best wishes x

bonty44

shellsuit wrote: »

Now I don't know what teachers do, but I'm assuming they would check pigeon holes at the end of the day and in the morning before class, so that is 2 oppurtunities (sp?) they both had to call me before the bag situ even happened.

Can I just point out (and please don't think I'm being flippant because I'm not intending to) that just because someone is HOY does not mean that they don't have lessons. When I worked as HOY, my 'free' periods were all on a Thursday a.m. and Friday p.m., which meant that sometimes it was physically very difficult to phone a parent because the rest of the time I was teaching. You can't leave a class unsupervised to make or take a phone call. Break / lunch times were when I tried to catch up on phone calls but invariably, life in school meant that several incidents had happened in the morning and I was chasing my tail with those, setting up my lessons for the next session and trying to catch up on phonecalls. HOY very rarely get sufficient time to do both roles properly; my school had 30 timetabled lessons; I taught 25 and had 5 free periods; not all of these were allocated to HOY role and inevitably, in those days, 1 or 2 would have been used up doing cover.

Also I used to stay at school until evening to catch up on phonecalls but stopped this when a parent became very abusive on the phone (not my fault he was down the pub at 4.45 and said I had no right to phone him on his time off - so we can't win, can we) No wonder I stepped down as HOY after 3 years as I felt it impossible to do everything justice.

WorriedBrit

I was assualted of school property when I was in yr 7...I was bullied for being flat chested and the boys wanted to see what I didn;t have.
i told my HOY the next day and she simply told me to wear a bra! I was 11 yrs old and didn;t even fit in an A cup till I was 17
I wish I had told my parents as the time but I didnt want to cause trouble...so don;t let this go easyily !