Absolutely fuming with school!!

tandraig

Shellsuit? I really apologise from my heart that my earlier post upset you - it was rather abrupt - but i could see all this buck passing coming from a mile off - in my experience its how schools deal with situations. Just wanted to get you moving because its usually best to deal with situations as they arise. by now they think they have the upper hand as :
A you have been far too reasonable
B no police have turned up to investigate
C governors havent been informed
also so much time has passed there is no way there would be any cctv evidence.
also peoples memories fade or distort with time and they could claim that your daughter was exaggerating the problem now.
it is almost two weeks now and the longer the situation goes unresolved the worse you will feel!
btw I do have experience of dealing with a large comprehensive when my son was badly bullied. and the more titles there are to deal with the harder it is for the parent and the easier for the school to pass the buck. or like my sons school promise anything but do nothing.
and quite frankly - no matter how good a schools reputation - if you arent happy, make a damn fuss!!
I ended up taking my son out of that school and enrolled him in another where the anti-bullying policy was actually implemented rigorously - and he flourished there.

shellsuit

tandraig wrote: »

Shellsuit? I really apologise from my heart that my earlier post upset you - it was rather abrupt - but i could see all this buck passing coming from a mile off - in my experience its how schools deal with situations. Just wanted to get you moving because its usually best to deal with situations as they arise. by now they think they have the upper hand as :
A you have been far too reasonable
B no police have turned up to investigate
C governors havent been informed
also so much time has passed there is no way there would be any cctv evidence.
also peoples memories fade or distort with time and they could claim that your daughter was exaggerating the problem now.
it is almost two weeks now and the longer the situation goes unresolved the worse you will feel!
btw I do have experience of dealing with a large comprehensive when my son was badly bullied. and the more titles there are to deal with the harder it is for the parent and the easier for the school to pass the buck. or like my sons school promise anything but do nothing.
and quite frankly - no matter how good a schools reputation - if you arent happy, make a damn fuss!!
I ended up taking my son out of that school and enrolled him in another where the anti-bullying policy was actually implemented rigorously - and he flourished there.

It's ok, don't worry about it


The bit above in bold ~ well that's happened :rolleyes:

Spoke to DD when she came home and she said she was asked loads of questions again and was shown boys photo's on the system ~ they were year 10 lads, but the photos were from when they were in year 8??!!!

Not sure if that's true or she's got the wrong end of the stick but I will be asking about that!

Also DD says she told the male teacher she can't remember and told HOY she doesn't care about it now. She also told them it could be an accident.

I pushed it with her (poor kid probbaly sick of being asked Q's!) and it transpires than she's been asked that many times if it could be an accident, that she's just thought sod it and said Yes.

Also she said to me "i can't remember properly mum, it was ages ago now and I can't remember who was around me. its schools fault for not asking me after the weekend" :mad: (it happened on a friday afternoon)

Thing is with my daughter, she can remember silly little things from years ago, but put her on the spot and ask her, and she goes to pieces, gets all stressed and flustered and can't remember a blinkin thing.

Even if she is going to tell me something and I say hang on a mo (say im on phone for example), i could be 20 seconds, then come back to her and she will forget what she was going to ask me, then if i push her, she gets even worse, gets all ratty and just can't remember at all.

I've got my notes typed up here so will be going in armed with them.

Basically, I want to know why it wasn't taken seriously (they can't say otherwise), why the lack of communication because that is just bloody ridiculous, and what will be done about my complaint.

If I'm not happy with the response, I'll take it higher.



I forgot the baby has injections at 9.30 in the morning so it will be a mad dash from school to surgery (luckily they are not far away at all) but as soon as I get a minute when I'm back, I'll update the thread.

Thanks to everyone for the responses and advice, even the posts I don't agree with x

milliebear00001

daska wrote: »

Regardless of whether the school, or anyone else, is able to ID the perpetrator there is obviously a problem with the school's internal procedures. Quite simply, the HOY should have taken the situation seriously and should have communicated with the OP appropriately. The HOY has failed on both counts and the Head hasn't intervened so it's entirely appropriate to go to the LEA.

Would it not be more appropriate to put in an official, written complaint to the school re. their poor communication and allow them (say) a week to make a formal response regarding this? Why go running to the LA and irrevocably damage your relationship with the school?

tandraig

youre very gracious shellsuit. I should have taken more time over my post and explained why you needed to act quickly. I apologise for that but felt so angry on behalf of your daughter and i had the runaround so badly from when my son was bullied i just posted without thinking! sorry.
I hope its not to late for the assualt to be dealt with but suspect for your daughters peace of mind it may be best to drop it? and deal with the lack of communication issue? also - why wasnt she sent home? that was insensitive to say the least.
i would take those matters further as i think on the way the school has dealt with matters so far the kids welfare is not uppermost on thier priority list!
anyway, good luck tom shellsuit.

daska

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Would it not be more appropriate to put in an official, written complaint to the school re. their poor communication and allow them (say) a week to make a formal response regarding this? Why go running to the LA and irrevocably damage your relationship with the school?

sounds to me like the OP's relationship with the HOY, her primary contact at the school, is already irrevocably damaged - and it's only october!

milliebear00001

daska wrote: »

sounds to me like the OP's relationship with the HOY, her primary contact at the school, is already irrevocably damaged - and it's only october!

If that's the case, then it's a shame. Only one loser then, and it's not going to be an adult.

Minxy_Bella

milliebear00001 wrote: »

If that's the case, then it's a shame. Only one loser then, and it's not going to be an adult.

Not necessarily.

Yes, the HOY could be a complete waste of space and the home-school relationship might have been tainted but I highly doubt that the child concerned would be penalised for having a mother who stuck up for her. It would be a rare HOY who couldn't differentiate between the actions of a student and those of her parent.

The HOY could be the most wonderful, caring teacher in the world but for reasons not yet clear, hasn't been able to address this situation or has been reassured by other staff that it has been resolved.

Shellsuit might be pleasantly surprised at the outcome of her meeting, we don't know what will happen.

daska

There's also the question of what happens if there is a 'next time'. If a different child will they again try to dismiss it as an accident? If it happens to the OPs daughter again will they automatically assume she's crying wolf because she backed down this time? Perhaps this has happened quite frequently and there are other kids who haven't felt brave enough to even mention it?

Alias_Omega

Year 10 makes them 14-15yrs old.

When i was 14-15yrs old, i would never consider touching another girls hand, nevermind putting my hand up there rear end...

I hope my 2 children are not like this.

milliebear00001

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

Not necessarily.

Yes, the HOY could be a complete waste of space and the home-school relationship might have been tainted but I highly doubt that the child concerned would be penalised for having a mother who stuck up for her. It would be a rare HOY who couldn't differentiate between the actions of a student and those of her parent.

The HOY could be the most wonderful, caring teacher in the world but for reasons not yet clear, hasn't been able to address this situation or has been reassured by other staff that it has been resolved.

Shellsuit might be pleasantly surprised at the outcome of her meeting, we don't know what will happen.

My point exactly. It is essential to allow the school a proper response before taking this to the LA.

Any school/teacher will be very wary of a child whose parent goes straight to the LA before allowing it a proper chance to answer their complaint. It WILL affect how they deal with her in the future.