How to make friends?

coffeeholic_2

k_bagpuss wrote: »

For anyone in the North East there's a great group - www.friendsnortheast.co.uk who are a fantastic bunch of people and there's always lots of events happening.

Ooh ta for this, off for a bit of a nose round that site

chatnoir

Can I Join!!
Im 24, moved to essex to be live with my now Fiance...and the only friends I have are his friends OH's...I use friends in the plural but mainly only one! She's my bridemaids and we get on really well but we only ever go out as couples!
I never had many friends where I used to live and no one from work! My fiance had a gig on saturday night and I sat in on my own with nothing to do! was so boring!!! I have posted on here about my social problems before an even met up with someone from here, but never got past the first meet up!
My problem is I am ok one to one but if im in a group im more of a listener then a talker and I think people forget Im there.
Have also been told on many occasions that I have the face of b*tch but once people get to know me they think I'm really nice!! Charming, and not exactly a confidence boster, straight off of meeting people I assume they think Im b*tch!! arhh

beverley1471

I'm in Stafford so if anyone else is in the area feel free to send message.

frames1_uk

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

Ok, I know that this may seem slightly odd, but im sure that I am not the only one in this situation. I do not have a best friend or even any friends that I would consider 'close'. I get on well with the people I work with and we go out occasionally, but they have families etc so we can only go out maybe four times a year and even then that takes a lot of organising!

I moved away from the area that I grew up in and went to school in and even though I have found those friends again mostly through Facebook, I haven't actually met up with any of them for years and they live a long way away. I have looked on Gumtree and contacted a few people through there and even met up with a few for coffee but never seem to be able to get past the 'aquantance' stage. I have joined an aerobics class which I have been going to for the past 10 months, but most of the people there are mums who know each other from school and have children of the same age so they tend to talk together and it is quite clique and I don't really know how to make the first move into trying to break this. Im friendly when I get there, say hello, how are you etc but again, dont seem to be able to get past the aquaintance stage. I have joined an evening class and im hoping that I might be able to make some friends there but would just like some tips on how to progress friendships past the acquaintance stage as I would love to make some close friends but im struggling!

Im not sad or weird I just can't understand why making friends is so hard!

sounds like my life. I've moved around a lot, my kids are now in their teens, I like the people I work with, but as you say, they all have families around and are quite settled with their lot. I don't have anyone I could just ring up and say 'hey, fancy going out, here, there, wherever etc....'

I am envious of those that have a close family around, even though they moan about them and take them for granted etc

Lauralou

Please can i join?!
I feel the same as most people.
I have frriends but only about 2 close friends. one i last saw when she wanted to stay with me for a bit(but unfortunaly couldn't). the other 1 has a 1 year old daughter, so she has her own life and new mummy friends.
I feel that i only ever go out with my partners friends as he doesnt like any off my friends. He likes one but doesnt like her boyfriend and i jsut feel i don't bother arrangeing to meet up with as my partner doesnt like her OH.
Just feel like i don't anyone to speak and at the moment i'm going through a crap time and i dont have anyone to speak to about it so am feeling rather lonely :-(
Oh im down south in dorset!

evilmonkey_2

I'm in this situation too Over the past few years grown apart from my old friends and not managed to make any new ones. I've tried to make an effort to go out for drinks with the old friends but all I get is "yeah, we should go for a drink", and then it never happens. Have tried evening classes, but never got past smiling and saying hi because they all seemed to be in groups already. I've just started a new job, but my colleagues don't socialise. Not sure what to do now....

I'm in West Lothian btw.

Tonyr

Maybe all of you should make friends then - you all seem to be in the same boat and you know how you feel. Why not start now - no time like the present:T

kacie

Hi I'm the same no real friends, but I don't have OH either or children, in which to make friends through My work colleagues are all at least 20 years older than me, with families

fantasia322

beverley1471 wrote: »

I moved to stafford afew years ago to live with my OH, and have never really made many friends. I chat to work colleagues and other people well, but never manage to take the next step. I always try and go out when a group does from work and be sociable but never manage to make any close friends.

I don't want any children so lose that to talk about with alot of people, as alot of the girls from work with children meet up at each others houses to talk about their kids, but as i have no kids i'm not invited, and wouldn't know what to talk about.

i'm not close to my family, see my brother and sister occasionally.

I read martins forums but never know what to post, decided to take the plunge!! I joined facebook to try and catch up with some old people have had some luck but not much.

At least i know i'm not the only person with this problem, people seem to see me as a casual friend only, must give off the wrong vibes.

This describes me to a T except am 50. Family all down south, kids I have 5 aged between 27 & 17, live with my partner. havent many friends, some pleasant work colleagues, but everybody does there own thing etc.
My best friend moved down south with her new partner last year, and although we chat on the phone it is'nt the same. We used to do the girly night thing with wine and 70's 80's & 90's music and i do miss it. Stuck really, am in Fife Scotland

gabyjane

See went out today with my mindee and met a lovely woman in the soft play area, the 2 kids played really well and we just sat and chatted and chased the kids round!, i know it sounds daft after a short amount of time but i'm sure you know if you are going to get on with someone or not and she seemed really on my level, infact she even commented about a few things i said saying some parents are very standoffish and how nice it was to get a conversation! (maybe she's on here!!)! i said i know and we had a good moan about cliquay mums!..spent about an hour and half with her but then we both had to go..i'll never see her again seems a shame really but i wasn't going to hand my mobile no over and prob she felt the same!..i always worry that if i meet people (i have some requests off another site) that i will be stuck with someone i really don't get on with or make a fool of myself on the first meet, first impressions are just that really aren't they!