How to make friends?

pinkfizz77

It is such a huge relief to know I am not the only person feeling this way!!!!
Single mum with three kids, moved 60 miles last year to get away from certain problematic people and have yet to make a proper friend, there are people I can say hello to but has never progressed!!
Don't have a partner or much family (well they all live miles away and only really close to my dad) so only time I really speak to adults is in a shop or dds teacher!!!
I just find it so hard to talk to people, always seem to say the wrong thing or they think I'm stuck up!!!
Can honestly say I now have no friends at all, my best friend was my ex (hmmm nuff said in the ex part lol) and it can get incredibly lonely at times
Anyone near Harrogate?????
Would just be nice to have some adult conversation, my eldest is 14 so get some intelligent conversation (rather than peppa pig or disney princess from my littluns lol) but tisn't the same

BARGAINHUNTER!

Wow! I cannot believe there are so many people out there in the same situation as me! If anyone would like to PM me at any time for a chat via email you would be guaranteed a reply!

I have started an evening class knitting and last night I made the effort to get up and go over and talk to people ablt what they were making. One lady was pregnant, so i started talking to her about what she was making then started talking to her about her baby. Im going to try and make a real effort to come across as friendly and outgoing now, which I am but I am also quite shy underneath! I think I came across as a bit aloof really!

Im off to aerobics tonight, so again im going to try to make the effort to speak to more people. A few of the girls run, as do I, and I have been out with them on a couple of occasions in the past but then it sort of fizzled out, so tonight im going to ask if they are still running, and if so give them my phone number and email address and tell them if they fancy a run anytime to drop me a line. I suspect that they are going running when they have dropped their kiddies off at school though which is no good for me as I work, but maybe we could fit it in another time! Im just going to have to bite the bullet and get stuck in!

I have also signed up for indian cookery classes starting in January so im making progress! Now I have given myself the opportunity to make friends with people who have similar interests to me I just need to make sure that I make the first step towards trying to make conversation and hopefully friends!

If anyone has any other ideas please let me know!

And thank you to everyone who has replied to this thread - it is great to hear your experiences!

vik6525

DeeDee74 wrote: »

i can so relate with all of you.. when i moved to wales 14 years ago i knew noone, i had so many friends before i moved i was seriously bored out of my mind having noone to chat to pop round and see go shopping with and that.
oh had lot's of friends at work so couldnt understand how i felt. the boy's used to pop around and that was good just to have different convo and most are really nice it's just not same as having girly friends.. anyway i started talking to some of his friends wifes and gf, most had kids like me so we found we had things in common and when the men went off doing there thing we used to meet up take kids out, or just have coffee .

school is a fab place to meet new friends when your kids are younger. get ds or dd to invite there friends to tea or sleep over's that way you have excuse to get chatting to the parents.
i used to go on all the school trips and weekly swimming lessons thay always need parents help. ive met lot's of fab mum's doing that and even some of the teacher's .
ds and dd are in high school now and i miss that..

good luck all it is hard but there is other people the same...
anyone in wales?
(cardiff)

:whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

RoxieW

well it's nice to know there are a few of us in the same boat! i dont really struggle making friends - it's more the 'taking it to the next level''. i have lots of people that I can happily chat away to at the school gates but i want some proper friends that i can have over for a glass of wine, confide in and rely on. i'm in derbyshire

red_devil

i never found it hard to make friends but to find people who were prepared to make an effort and keep it going!

I think i was too reliable for alot of people. These days it dosent bother me though. I am happy sometimes friends are more hassle than they are worth.

balmaiden

Yet another Nelly No Mates here. I am 53 and retired at 50 and am finding it quite a lonely time.

I had many friends at school and when my children were young and all through my working life. What I have found is that I have had different friends at each stage of my life e.g school friends, young mums and workmates and although I am still in touch with a lot of those friends we are all at different stages of our lives and perhaps have not as much in common now.

I really thought that when I finished work I would find some other like minded early retirees but, despite joining a pilates class and a couple of adult education classes that is not the case.

Much as I don't like reading about other lonely people it does feel good to know I am not as alone as I thought. I shouldn't complain really as I do have my husband at home as well and we do have a good life, but there isn't anything that quite compares with a good old chinwag with a mate is there?

Kylie

Another here.

Moved to UK 6 years ago. Late 20s. Few friends scattered around the country...

Social life? What social life

Sad (but nice-ish) to know I'm not alone.

beverley1471

I moved to stafford afew years ago to live with my OH, and have never really made many friends. I chat to work colleagues and other people well, but never manage to take the next step. I always try and go out when a group does from work and be sociable but never manage to make any close friends.

I don't want any children so lose that to talk about with alot of people, as alot of the girls from work with children meet up at each others houses to talk about their kids, but as i have no kids i'm not invited, and wouldn't know what to talk about.

i'm not close to my family, see my brother and sister occasionally.

I read martins forums but never know what to post, decided to take the plunge!! I joined facebook to try and catch up with some old people have had some luck but not much.

At least i know i'm not the only person with this problem, people seem to see me as a casual friend only, must give off the wrong vibes.

BARGAINHUNTER!

beverley1471 wrote: »

I moved to stafford afew years ago to live with my OH, and have never really made many friends. I chat to work colleagues and other people well, but never manage to take the next step. I always try and go out when a group does from work and be sociable but never manage to make any close friends.

I don't want any children so lose that to talk about with alot of people, as alot of the girls from work with children meet up at each others houses to talk about their kids, but as i have no kids i'm not invited, and wouldn't know what to talk about.

i'm not close to my family, see my brother and sister occasionally.

I read martins forums but never know what to post, decided to take the plunge!! I joined facebook to try and catch up with some old people have had some luck but not much.

At least i know i'm not the only person with this problem, people seem to see me as a casual friend only, must give off the wrong vibes.

Are there any evening classes in your area? Ive just joined a knitting class and ive signed up to do an indian cookery class in January so im hoping to make some friends there or at least practice getting to know people! lol!

beverley1471

I work shifts and can't get the same day/evening off every week. Or i probably would. Managers not to flexible!!

Tried the gym/keep fit for a while but didn't work. Everyone said hello but not much more. Didn't want to look strange insisting on talking to people.