How to make friends?

MrsAnnie

kacie wrote: »

Hi I'm the same no real friends, but I don't have OH either or children, in which to make friends through My work colleagues are all at least 20 years older than me, with families

Going by my own experience and other posters, having an OH and children is sadly not always an avenue to making friends . Wish it were that easy.

Because of this thread, I am determined to meet more people! I am having coffee this week with someone I met on another site. I hope it goes well, and if not at least I can say I tried!!

BTW I live in the Peterborough area!

minerva_windsong

Not totally read through this yet so apologies for being a bit wallowy/waffly...

This had really struck a chord with me. I'm 22 and have always struggled to make friends for various reasons - I was a geeky kid/teenager and got picked on a bit so have always had issues with self esteem and thinking people only liked me for what I could do for them/were nice to me because they felt sorry for me, and as a result of that when I first meet people I can be really shy and only tend to come out of my shell when I get to know people. I've also been hurt by someone I thought was a friend telling strangers personal things about me and various other stuff so I've been a bit burned by that.

I do have a fair few good friends but a lot of them are people I've met through my boyfriend as they were originally his friends and I feel a bit like a spare part when I'm with them. They are lovely but you know how sometimes you just feel a bit on the edge and not quite fully integrated into the group. I'm not sure if it'll get worse or better when I move to London to be nearer him because a lot of them are also there (where I live now is quite isolated, especially as I don't drive) but at the same time it'll be much further away from my best mate for at least a year, and she's the only person other than my sister who I really talk to about major 'stuff'.

I can talk to my boss and colleagues no problem, it's just people who are my own age, and I think a lot of it is because I'm quite an independent person and was never into the 'typical student/teenager' stuff of going out and getting ratted for the heck of it. That said though I do feel very lonely sometimes.

I would offer myself up to potential new friends but due to moving situation being all a bit up in the air right now and not being able to drive etc I'm not really sure I want to say until things are more definite. It is nice knowing I'm not the only one though, especially not the only 20-something!

kacie

minerva_windsong wrote: »

especially not the only 20-something!

Nope I'm 22 as well

Kit1

MrsAnnie wrote: »

Going by my own experience and other posters, having an OH and children is sadly not always an avenue to making friends . Wish it were that easy.

Because of this thread, I am determined to meet more people! I am having coffee this week with someone I met on another site. I hope it goes well, and if not at least I can say I tried!!

BTW I live in the Peterborough area!

Mrs Annie

I agree totally. We only have one dd and I have done the whole school thing (she is at secondary now) and tried to make friends with other mums which worked for a while but then they all started to go off into to their own little groups and as I am rather shy I never felt comfortable joining in with people I didn't know. Once she moved onto secondary school I didn't have the opportunity to see any of the mums except at the odd school evening which happens about once a year.

I hope your coffee goes well. BTW I live near Peterborough too

HeatherH

chatnoir wrote: »

Can I Join!!
Im 24, moved to essex to be live with my now Fiance...and the only friends I have are his friends OH's...I use friends in the plural but mainly only one! She's my bridemaids and we get on really well but we only ever go out as couples!
I never had many friends where I used to live and no one from work! My fiance had a gig on saturday night and I sat in on my own with nothing to do! was so boring!!! I have posted on here about my social problems before an even met up with someone from here, but never got past the first meet up!
My problem is I am ok one to one but if im in a group im more of a listener then a talker and I think people forget Im there.
Have also been told on many occasions that I have the face of b*tch but once people get to know me they think I'm really nice!! Charming, and not exactly a confidence boster, straight off of meeting people I assume they think Im b*tch!! arhh

Hey Chatnoir,

I just noticed your post, I'm also in essex, as I've been here for most of my life. Since becoming a parent I've definitely felt a bit left out of the social circles I was once in. Just thought I'd say hi to you and everyone else on the board

And for the record, I'm 25

top_drawer_2

hey everyone!

Can I join too?

I've a lack of friends too and would love to meet some new people. I am female, live in the Central Lancashire area and am 27 yrs old.

BARGAINHUNTER!

Well, I have had a fair amount of success so far! Last night at aerobics I gave someone I chat to occasionally my mobile number and email address with a view to meeting up to do some running together. I hope this will lead to friendship! I have also been contacted by a couple of ladies after I registered on netmums and posted an add looking to meet up and I have been asked if I want to meet for Tapas this Friday by one of them and emailing a couple of others to try to arrange coffee. I also looked through all the other ads on there and sent a message to anyone whos ad caught my eye so fingers crossed!

If anyone on here wants to PM me I am quite happy to give you my email address if you want to chat via email.

Lauralou

kacie wrote: »

Nope I'm 22 as well

Well i'm starting to feel even more sad as i think i may be the youngest.. im 20!
Does feel quite sad that at 20, i can only say i have about 2 maybe 3 close friends!
minerva_windsong i can totally relate to what you are saying about your OH friends. i feel excatly the same.
Bargainhunter Thank you so much for starting this thread its so nice to know there are other people feeling the same. Glad things are looking uo for you:D
How are we all today?

kacie

I'm good I went to the local gym to look around and see what classes they do, so may join one of them depending on money and if any sound interesting

Alias_Omega

I think 'friends' will always be a problem. For myself, i probably had about 5 close friends, or that probably 2 of them i could really rely on. Over the years, i have moved away and the past 9 years has caused me to drop down to seeing them every 4-5 months. So over time these people fade away into there own lives, and meet new people.

I would say that 2 years ago, i moved into my wifes area. So in that area i have 0 friends, though all of the people i know are through her, or friends of her's. Thats with an exception to her (as she is a friend) and then her family.

So when poor alias is sat at home on a saturday night, whilst the wife is out. He has 0 friends to ring up. Well i have 1, but as she is female im not allowed to talk to her. The wife says i can, but i know inside its a no.

I work with about 80 people on our shift, so alot of people to talk too in work, but at home its a different story, and i sometimes find myself with not alot to do, and no where to go....but maybe i just like it after all this time..