13yr old HELP!!!

The_Banker_5

I thought my daughter was unique but they must all be the same.:D


I love this thread.:D

perplexed.com

Does anyone have a teenager who willingly, without persuasion and regularly tidies their room ( unless they have latent OCD that is ) ??? My DD (16) isn't too bad but not brilliant either, gets moony and distracted a lot, DS (14) is awful, smelly room, everything scattered. I've never understood how it's more effort to drop clothes into an open-topped linen basket in his room than to drop it on the floor, but hey what do I know?

Kidmeister, brilliant photo and looks so familiar, had to laugh at spotting a dog in there too, was it helping or just part of the scene?

perplexed.com

Oops I meant Kazmeister, sorry!

System

At 13 i was probably as messy and "unkept" (didn't care at all about apparence) as your daughter, i was also bullied. I did also have depression, but i've come to accept that irregardless of that i am STILL a messy person (23 next week!). My mum tried nagging me and it never worked and then one day she came in with bin bags and siad "we're getting this room tided and we're not leaving till its done". It took about 6 hours but she helped me (and my dad even had to go up a ladder outside to bring us both a cuppa cos the door was blocked with bin bags ) BUT for the remainder of the time i lived at home it stayed tidy. Mainly because i never wnated to have to go through that again!

Sadly since i moved out i've gone back to my untidy ways and my poor mum would probably have a heart attack if she saw my room now, but on the plus side my room at home is still immaculate! Sadly my 14 year old sister is picking up where i left off...

gizmo111

Kazmeister - that pic looks my daughters room after she tidys it:p

OP theres a few suggestions here and especially the one about the pads and what to do with them. Until about a year ago my DD who is now just past 14 was exactly the same as your daughter, she said she found it such a huge task to put all her stuff away in such a small room, so this summer we totally emptied it and threw out very ruthlessly old stuff no longer, games clothes etc and decorated it. She loves the room now and is mostly tidy (I say mostly things get thrown in the wardrobe not the floor), but when I bought new furniture I bought stuff that left her a lot of room as well.

As for your husband, he may think she should be able to do lots of things herself but if she needs help for a lot longer as a child rather than a teen then give it to her, all children develop differently and she may be struggling ith emotions. There is no point arguing over it and making her feel worse about what she can't do.

As for mornings.........:eek: I've given up, one shout and that's it.

The_Banker_5

perplexed.com wrote: »

Does anyone have a teenager who willingly, without persuasion and regularly tidies their room

I doubt it.:D

rocketdog_2

Reggie_Rebel wrote: »

Soon be bonfire night, start piling her crap in the garden now

I'm totally with you! Give her 2 hours to clean her room or it's all thrown out - no replacements....just watch her motivation then. And if she doesn't clean up, she'll only have a bed, bedding and her school uniform to keep tidy in future :rotfl:

Skintmama

I would be more worried about the lack of self care than the room. How comfortable is she with her developing body? It can be a bit difficult to accept those early changes into womanhood so maybe she is in need of a bit of support on this.........some mum and daughter time which is not about how untidy or messy she is and is a bit more woman to woman.

Don’t despair with the room! We did a makeover of our daughter’s room when she was 15 to give her plenty of storage and a massive declutter. It went from being a messy little girl’s room (the above photo would have been a good day lol)into a sophisticated teen room with space to study and relax. It has been very tidy ever since and she is 18 now.

We have just done the same for our 15yr old son to transform his skanky and smelly pit into something he can be proud of. It gets tidied regularly twice a week.........on the days his girlfriend is due to visit!

kazmeister

perplexed.com wrote: »

Does anyone have a teenager who willingly, without persuasion and regularly tidies their room ( unless they have latent OCD that is )

Thats the totally bizarre part this is DS room and he's 17.



It rarely gets any worse, occasionally a bit of washing behind the door or a few empty glasses. He even changes his bedding regularly without being asked.

- I am

The_Banker_5

kazmeister wrote: »

Thats the totally bizarre part this is DS room and he's 17.



It rarely gets any worse, occasionally a bit of washing behind the door or a few empty glasses. He even changes his bedding regularly without being asked.

- I am

Wow!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek:


Now that is tidy for a 17 year old.:D