Issues already with who to invite to wedding- ARGH

poet123

I think that if the wedding is being held at MIL's house then she does have more of a say than would be normal. If it is just the one Aunt, and she hasn't got another slew of relatives waiting in the wings, then I would agree for the sake of family harmony. It is always as well to at least try to keep the MIL onside, it avoids lots of rows later on.

tandraig

i just re-read your original post - er - your intended has friends included - but not his auntie? why not? your side is full really. if OH has room then why isnt auntie included? doesnt he like her - if so its up to OH to say so. oh and my earlier post still stands - MIL is right bossy cow and stand up to her now

bestpud

I know how you feel.

We had a small wedding but I was able to invite more 'distant' relatives because I only have one sibling whereas my ex has five.

I think it is fine to have more friends than relatives on one side, but I do think, for a small wedding, it is is more noticeable if you have a higher number of people on one side, so I'd stick to equal numbers.

I do think it being held in their house is the sticking point tbh.

If you really are going to dig your heels in, then maybe you need to look for someone else, as the last thing you need is her holding a grudge when she has the keys to the 'venue'!!

Is it just the sister or does she have a partner, son, daughter...?

Is there not one more person you'd like to invite?

chardonnay_2

if you were having it at an entirely neutral ground you could have absolute say, but as you want to get married at your fiance's parents house in france, i think you may have to compromise if you want the wedding to go ahead.

chardonnay_2

although you are funding it yourselves, could your mil not pay for her sis to atend?

anmarj

I would stick to what you have, we have had to invite one cousin of sorts to the evening do only to keep the peace and the table plan has been done to suit his family because of past incidents!

KK22_2

Stick to your guns. You have both obviously thought carefully about your guest lists so if you have not put her on the list already, then you obviously don't need or particularly want her there. Be sure to try and get your fiance to break this to MIL though, you don't want to be getting blamed for everything before you're even married.

kr15snw

Stick to your guns. We're having 60 to our wedding (which I know is more) but we've had the same issues as my family is huge compared to the future hubbies.

We have invited about 15 direct family (parents, sister, brothers, neices, nans) 15 family from his side (all his aunts, uncles and cousins) and 15 from mine (my aunts an uncles).

My mum is horrified that the other 15 invites have gone to friends! If I was to invite all of my cousins (and you know how it is, invite 1 invite them all) I would have an extra 30 people there! Which we can't fit in, so we decided not to invite any of them.

According to my mum 'weddings are for families, not for friends'. Sorry but my wedding is for those I love the most. I have an amazing group of friends who I love dearly and couldnt live without, and so they are invited

liney

Your DH has picked his 10 guests, so it's up to him to either drop one from his side, or tell his Mother that there is no space for her.

Stop getting involved because this will become all your fault. You will have forced DH (to be) into it, and he'd be inviting all his Aunties if it was up to him....

His Mom, he sorts it.

Anastasia

Hate to say this but you are having the wedding in MIL's house and you may have to compromise. I wanted to stay stick to your plan which you could easily do if the situation was differerent.

Of course she is embarrassed. The wedding is happening in her house and she feels she is excluding her sister. She may be worrying unnecessarily and the sister may be cool about it.

Good luck. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Ana