I'm so angry

reeree

tandraig wrote: »

reeree I am sure you will understand when i say that reading your grandsons letter made me cry. hun, its in his mind already and to him his family are doing nothing. did you show your DD my PM? with his letter I would be worried and wouldnt let him set foot in that school again.
the suggestion about the school welfare officer was a very good one - mine was sympathetic but had no clout with the school - but we did avoid being prosecuted for truancy when I took DS2 out of that school as we explained why. he was only out of school for a couple of weeks as it didnt take long to get him into alternative school. is there no alternative school he could attend as your DD seems against home schooling? does she know whats involved in home schooling? she may think that DG would be lolling about all day and learning nothing - and it isnt like that or wasnt when i looked into it. his education would be monitored and he would have to demonstrate he was being educated (or rather you would) unless its changed radically over the last 10 years! the law states a child must be educated - it doesnt state it has to be at a school!.

Yes youve hit the nail on the head I do think she thinks he would be lolling about doing nothing and i dont know how to convince her otherwise, but I will bring up the bit about being monitored, i never thought about that, I think she thinks we would be left to our own devices and thats obviously not the case Brilliant

JimmyTheWig

reeree wrote: »

I do think she thinks he would be lolling about doing nothing

What, exactly, does she think he is learning at the moment at that place that calls itself a school? I doubt very much whether he can concentrate in that environment.

reeree

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

What, exactly, does she think he is learning at the moment at that place that calls itself a school? I doubt very much whether he can concentrate in that environment.

exactly, he his quite behind in his school work at the moment, if you read his note that i found he says in it that he cant concentrate because of the bullying, one teacher even said to me "with what he has to put up with Im surprised he does as well as he does" I think that says it all really

reeree

[ She cries every day and is losing her smile - /QUOTE]

that is so sad, it actually brought tears to my eyes, but I think its true of alot of children I know its the same with my grandson

not_tonight_josephine_2

Hi reeree, firstly can I just say what a lovely grandmother you sound like! So many kids don't have much contact with their grandparents these days, your GS is very luck to have you!

There were just a couple of things that came into my mind when I was reading through this - the first was around your grandson's plans in terms of his exams/career plans etc. I know he's only 14 but I imagine he will need to be making GCSE choices soon (if he hasn't already)? Does he know which subjects he wants to take, and does he have any plans around A Levels and University/Career? Can you afford to have some private tutoring for him when it comes nearer to exam time if necessary (not saying you won't do a good job of home schooling him yourself, I'm sure you will, but if he decides to take eg advanced Maths A level are you confident that you can teach him without additional help?)

Also, have you looked into the possibility of moving him to another school rather than withdrawing him altogether? Again, I'm not saying this is what you should do but I think it's important to look at all the options before making a big decision like this.

reeree

not_tonight_josephine wrote: »

Hi reeree, firstly can I just say what a lovely grandmother you sound like! So many kids don't have much contact with their grandparents these days, your GS is very luck to have you!

There were just a couple of things that came into my mind when I was reading through this - the first was around your grandson's plans in terms of his exams/career plans etc. I know he's only 14 but I imagine he will need to be making GCSE choices soon (if he hasn't already)? Does he know which subjects he wants to take, and does he have any plans around A Levels and University/Career? Can you afford to have some private tutoring for him when it comes nearer to exam time if necessary (not saying you won't do a good job of home schooling him yourself, I'm sure you will, but if he decides to take eg advanced Maths A level are you confident that you can teach him without additional help?)

Also, have you looked into the possibility of moving him to another school rather than withdrawing him altogether? Again, I'm not saying this is what you should do but I think it's important to look at all the options before making a big decision like this.

thankyou so much for that, the subjects he's chosen are art and RM he was going to do history aswell but the teacher said she thought it would be too hard for him all though he loves history(this is how behind hes got) at the moment I wouldnt be able to afford private tutoring for him (only wish I could) i lost my job earlier this year through illness all though Im alot better now, but it does mean i could be at home all day for him, there,s only one other school nearby and it has a worse reputation than the one hes at so its not really an option to be honest, and yes you're right it is a big decision to make.

not_tonight_josephine_2

reeree wrote: »

i lost my job earlier this year through illness all though Im alot better now, but it does mean i could be at home all day for him, there,s only one other school nearby and it has a worse reputation than the one hes at so its not really an option to be honest, and yes you're right it is a big decision to make.

Ok, it's going to sound like I'm being negative here but I'm just trying to play devil's advocate - you've probably already considered these points so tell me to mind my own if so!

- I'm glad you are feeling better, had you been planning on going back to work at some point? If so, what would happen to your GS then? If not, how will you survive financially?
- If you are on some kind of income support for your illness then obviously you will be OK financially, but are you sure you will be up to what is effectively a full time job (and I imagine will be fairly stressful at times)?
- Are you sure your GS will be motivated to do school type work at home and that you will be able to push him if he isn't? A lot of 14 year olds would get very easily distracted at home, particularly if they're used to it being a place to relax, not to work!
- Re the previous post - are you confident that you will be able to give him the academic support he needs to pass exams etc? If not then do you have a backup plan (eg tutors)?
- Do you have plans to ensure he maintains social contact with other young people? As others have suggested, sports clubs or other societies may be a good idea. Are these kind of activities free or will you need to budget for them?
- Can you look at schools slightly further away? Would your Education Authority allow him to move to another school within their area given the difficulties he has faced in his current school?
- What is the long term plan? Could he go to a local college at 16 once he's done his GCSEs? Perhaps there would be a slightly more mature atmosphere there. Does he have aspirations to study A Levels/a degree?

louby-lou-lou

I was bullied every day from age 12-16 high school years. I loved primary school but the min i went to high school it all changed. Bullying is hard to prove so it mostly goes un-noticed. At first i was builled by my so called friends and once i was the target that was it for the rest of my school life. Nothing was done about it until i was 15 and then i don't think my parents got involved at all. The school had rang them and said they were sorting it but nothing changed until i went to see the head master myself. I was attacked in the changing rooms, the bullies grabbed my head and smashed it into the wall. I ran out in my p.e kit all the way to the heads office in floods of tears but also in anger with the situation and demanded something be done. They finally took me seriously because i myself had made the complaint and they could clearly see i was hurt and in distress.

It was all to late for my exams, though the damage was done and i didn't do as well as i could have.

reeree

not_tonight_josephine wrote: »

Ok, it's going to sound like I'm being negative here but I'm just trying to play devil's advocate - you've probably already considered these points so tell me to mind my own if so!

- I'm glad you are feeling better, had you been planning on going back to work at some point? If so, what would happen to your GS then? If not, how will you survive financially?
- If you are on some kind of income support for your illness then obviously you will be OK financially, but are you sure you will be up to what is effectively a full time job (and I imagine will be fairly stressful at times)?
- Are you sure your GS will be motivated to do school type work at home and that you will be able to push him if he isn't? A lot of 14 year olds would get very easily distracted at home, particularly if they're used to it being a place to relax, not to work!
- Re the previous post - are you confident that you will be able to give him the academic support he needs to pass exams etc? If not then do you have a backup plan (eg tutors)?
- Do you have plans to ensure he maintains social contact with other young people? As others have suggested, sports clubs or other societies may be a good idea. Are these kind of activities free or will you need to budget for them?
- Can you look at schools slightly further away? Would your Education Authority allow him to move to another school within their area given the difficulties he has faced in his current school?
- What is the long term plan? Could he go to a local college at 16 once he's done his GCSEs? Perhaps there would be a slightly more mature atmosphere there. Does he have aspirations to study A Levels/a degree?

No im not thinking of going back to work in the near future my oh works so we can manage on his wage , I can imagine it would be stressfull at first until we got into a routine, all those questions you ask ive asked myself but at the moment I dont feel that he is getting much of an education at school anyway, when i look at his school books most of the time he hasnt been able to finish his work because of the disruptions in class and of course he then gets told off for not finishing his work. I know it would be hard but im prepared to give it my all if my daughter would give me the chance, the phsycological damage that the bullying is doing to my dg worries me to death, and that note he wrote is a real worry, i can see from alot of the posters on here there is alot of support and i wouldnt be on my own, as tandraig said, i would be monitored, This has been going on for over 3 years at this school, I dont think it will ever get sorted out properly, weve phoned weve written letters weve been to see the head of year many times and spoken to the school on numerous occasions and it stops for a coulple of days and then starts again, My grandson is a very quiet boy and I think he would struggle to fit in at a new school, he is so painfully shy he finds it very very hard to speak to people at the best of times. We have a college three miles away from us.

reeree

louby-lou-lou wrote: »

I was bullied every day from age 12-16 high school years. I loved primary school but the min i went to high school it all changed. Bullying is hard to prove so it mostly goes un-noticed. At first i was builled by my so called friends and once i was the target that was it for the rest of my school life. Nothing was done about it until i was 15 and then i don't think my parents got involved at all. The school had rang them and said they were sorting it but nothing changed until i went to see the head master myself. I was attacked in the changing rooms, the bullies grabbed my head and smashed it into the wall. I ran out in my p.e kit all the way to the heads office in floods of tears but also in anger with the situation and demanded something be done. They finally took me seriously because i myself had made the complaint and they could clearly see i was hurt and in distress.

It was all to late for my exams, though the damage was done and i didn't do as well as i could have.

thats so similar to my dg, it started with his so called friends bullying him, one of them had even stayed over for christmas week at our house would you believe, then turned against him and then they all jumped on the band wagon and now make his life a misery, he dosent call it school anymore he calls it Hell