I'm so angry

jenhug

Not sure if this has been mentioned yet, contact the Educational welfare officer at your local council. They deal with many aspects of educational issues, including bullying and truancy. They have a duty of care to your child also and won't be impressed to hear school refuse to do anything. Especially if you mention the possibilyit of home schooling.

peachyprice

reeree wrote: »

thankyou thats a really good idea, maybe something were he's not known as a bullies target would be just what he needs, he's not really sporty but he does have a talent for building models, he's built some amazing things out of paper, cardboard and especially lego, he's also into collecting aswell, if anyone has any ideas I would really welcome anything that might help

How about something like Warhammer, they usually run the clubs in Games Workshop shops.

It's basically a stragety game they play with models they have made.

They make and paint the models, are given lessons in how to play the game and have get togethers usally 2-3 time a week so you can pick and choose which days you want to go.

The groups are usually about 8-10 boys, with constant adult supervision and are quite frankly not the kind of place the bully type people would want to go to or be welcomed at.

There's a store finder here on their website, you'll also be able to see if it's the kind of thing he may be intersted in.

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws//home.jsp?_requestid=745116

HTH

evelyn-b_2

I think peachyprice's idea above is an excellent one. Along similar lines (but perhaps not quite so street-credworthy as Warhammer! Wish that had been around when I were a lass) there is a park near where I live where people can sail remote-controlled boats on the pond. I've noticed a group of adults in overall charge, helping the younger ones to build and sail the boats. I don't think it's all 'fathers and sons', so perhaps your grandson might find something like this interesting. A colleague of mine has a son who has no adult male relatives, and the son has joined a model railway club - they meet to discuss and build engines, show them off, and have trips out to places of interest to them. This might not be exactly what would suit your grandson's interests, but perhaps it might spark off some ideas? I was just wondering if he would fare well in a mixed age-group club?

I do hope the bullying can be tackled. As an adult, I know it is usually true that bullies are insecure, but it is so hard when you are in the thick of it. Very best wishes.

Edit: I also like tandraig's idea of helping behind the scenes at a local drama group - I used to do this with costumes and they were always welcoming of any help. It made me feel valued and meant I met some very interesting people.

reeree

thankyou all for your replys and to those of you who havetaken the time to pm me, your support has been overwhelming and has been such a help both to me and my dd and gs, tandraig I didnt think you were being harsh at all you only said what i was already thinking. Yesterday my dg came home from school and said 4 of them in one class had been hitting and kicking him, he was really upset. I later found this note he had written yesterday, I asked him if he would mind if I shared it with people on here and he said it was ok, below is what he has written

When i get bullied i feel really sad, they call me fat b****** they even sing you fat****** they kick me punch me and tip tap me and call my whole family names. It happens to me every day the only time I feel safe and happy is when I am at my mums or my nana's. When I stick up for myself the teachers blame me and the bullys get away with it, The teachers and the head do nothing when they say they are going to, its a waste of time telling and a waste of time phoning it makes me want to kill myself and I cant concentrate on my work.

i showed it to my daughter and she said thats it thats the last straw Im pulling him out of school. Thank goodness she's come to that decision on her own without me pressuring her, thats what i wanted all along for it to be her making her own mind and not me i hoped she would in the end but it had to be from her, Now ive got to make a phone call to the school, im not really very good with authority so if anyone has any tips on what to say i would be really grateful,

Reggie_Rebel

Be firm, be strong, be bloody rude if you have to be.

THEY are the ones at fault, not you and not your grandson. THEY have a duty to sort it out.

JimmyTheWig

Read out the note to them over the phone.
I think your GS has put it better than anyone on here could have.

JimmyTheWig

P.S. The only thing that strikes me as slightly worrying on that note (obviously appart from the bullying, but we knew about that) is that he says "my mums" rather than "home". I presume that his mum's is his home.

Obviously getting him away from the bullies will help him, but at the same time is there anything you can all do to make home feel more like home?

reeree

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

P.S. The only thing that strikes me as slightly worrying on that note (obviously appart from the bullying, but we knew about that) is that he says "my mums" rather than "home". I presume that his mum's is his home.

Obviously getting him away from the bullies will help him, but at the same time is there anything you can all do to make home feel more like home?

I think maybe he said that is because he considers that he has two homes because he spends his time between me and dd, he has his own bedroom and alot of his things at my house, and especially during the summer holidays he spends more time with us as she is at work all week

Paparika

reeree wrote: »

thankyou all for your replys and to those of you who havetaken the time to pm me, your support has been overwhelming and has been such a help both to me and my dd and gs, tandraig I didnt think you were being harsh at all you only said what i was already thinking. Yesterday my dg came home from school and said 4 of them in one class had been hitting and kicking him, he was really upset. I later found this note he had written yesterday, I asked him if he would mind if I shared it with people on here and he said it was ok, below is what he has written

When i get bullied i feel really sad, they call me fat b****** they even sing you fat****** they kick me punch me and tip tap me and call my whole family names. It happens to me every day the only time I feel safe and happy is when I am at my mums or my nana's. When I stick up for myself the teachers blame me and the bullys get away with it, The teachers and the head do nothing when they say they are going to, its a waste of time telling and a waste of time phoning it makes me want to kill myself and I cant concentrate on my work.

i showed it to my daughter and she said thats it thats the last straw Im pulling him out of school. Thank goodness she's come to that decision on her own without me pressuring her, thats what i wanted all along for it to be her making her own mind and not me i hoped she would in the end but it had to be from her, Now ive got to make a phone call to the school, im not really very good with authority so if anyone has any tips on what to say i would be really grateful,

What a fantastic nana you are :A

Be strong and tell them how it is, your dg is being bullied and has been for x mount of time, the teachers that should be there to help your son is letting him down, the schools anti bulling scheme is a joke and you will therefore be removing him as from x date for home tutoring.

I got bullied at school (almost 30 years ago) got pinned down and had a compus shoved up my nose because i looked different, i had the cartilage that runs down your nose poking out a nostril and someone thought they could pick it off because it looked like a bogey... just one out of hundreds of things done to me.who did it..oh the in crowd, the girls that plastered the slap on (who needs make up on at school), the boys with the latest gadgets etc etc, the ones who had the latest of everything, who did well at school and were popular, their peers egged them on to be nasty and you do it because if you didn't you would get picked on!, and their parents thought their children were angels.

Children can be sly, evil nasty pieces of work, even our own little darlings behind our backs can be the devil spawn...

You know your little darling is in the in crowd, the ones who wear make up and jewelery to school, listen to them closely as they are often the ones who pick on the less fortunate, because they cannot afford the latest things your own children take for granted.. how many of us think our own kids are doing fine at school.... look deeper, are they a bully.... because they could be, and the point i am trying to make is, if your child was a bully what would you do..... would you laugh and say their victim should grow a spine, would you laugh with them and think of other things they can do to torment the victim, or would you dob your child in with the school.. would you punish your child, teach them right from wrong.

More often the bullies parents, either don't know, or don't see that a little bit of teasing can cause so much harm, or think its fun to see someone else get bullied, (as long as it's not my child right!! wrong)


Anyway back to super nana :T
Your dg recognises he is safe and happy with you, and you have been a huge support to him, the school can't be !!!! because the bullies always get covered over,
you don't want to over step the mark with your daughter, but how far is she going to let this go on, your dg has gone through so much,

we look back on our teenage years and think how good or bad it is, and it often shapes the people we grow up and become, there is no point in dg being more outgoing with his peers if at this school he has none. keep up your hard work, you have kept him going.. home schooling seems the better thing for him at the present moment. well done you.

reeree

Paparika wrote: »

What a fantastic nana you are :A

Be strong and tell them how it is, your dg is being bullied and has been for x mount of time, the teachers that should be there to help your son is letting him down, the schools anti bulling scheme is a joke and you will therefore be removing him as from x date for home tutoring.

I got bullied at school (almost 30 years ago) got pinned down and had a compus shoved up my nose because i looked different, i had the cartilage that runs down your nose poking out a nostril and someone thought they could pick it off because it looked like a bogey... just one out of hundreds of things done to me.who did it..oh the in crowd, the girls that plastered the slap on (who needs make up on at school), the boys with the latest gadgets etc etc, the ones who had the latest of everything, who did well at school and were popular, their peers egged them on to be nasty and you do it because if you didn't you would get picked on!, and their parents thought their children were angels.

Children can be sly, evil nasty pieces of work, even our own little darlings behind our backs can be the devil spawn...

You know your little darling is in the in crowd, the ones who wear make up and jewelery to school, listen to them closely as they are often the ones who pick on the less fortunate, because they cannot afford the latest things your own children take for granted.. how many of us think our own kids are doing fine at school.... look deeper, are they a bully.... because they could be, and the point i am trying to make is, if your child was a bully what would you do..... would you laugh and say their victim should grow a spine, would you laugh with them and think of other things they can do to torment the victim, or would you dob your child in with the school.. would you punish your child, teach them right from wrong.

More often the bullies parents, either don't know, or don't see that a little bit of teasing can cause so much harm, or think its fun to see someone else get bullied, (as long as it's not my child right!! wrong)


Anyway back to super nana :T
Your dg recognises he is safe and happy with you, and you have been a huge support to him, the school can't be !!!! because the bullies always get covered over,
you don't want to over step the mark with your daughter, but how far is she going to let this go on, your dg has gone through so much,

we look back on our teenage years and think how good or bad it is, and it often shapes the people we grow up and become, there is no point in dg being more outgoing with his peers if at this school he has none. keep up your hard work, you have kept him going.. home schooling seems the better thing for him at the present moment. well done you.

Thankyou so much for that, you are spot on in what you said especially about how evil children can be, it never ceases to amaze me how much pleasure they get out of hurting other children and then go home and pretend to be little angels, The lasting damage it does is unbeliveable, i know with my daughter she was a lovely child growing up but the bullying she suffered at school has turned her into a very angry young woman at times, if we see any of the girls that bullied her when we are out i know straight away because her face completly alters into a horrible scowl so its still affecting he 17 yrs later