How do you find a time for yourself?

amalis

Hi,
i started to realise that now I look much worse than i did before i married. We are married for 2 years, no children. My usual day looks like this: come from work, cook, then my husband comes, we eat, i clean plates (no diswasher yet, and none is planned during the coming year), then again I clean something at home (ahh, there is always something to clean), then watch movie with my husband (even if i dont want to, he considers it is the only time we got to spend together) and then already it is time to sleep. I catastrophically dont have time for myself, for my beauty routine. I am quite a high maintenance (what to do, I am not gifted with natural beauty). I dont have time to go to massages, to go to sunbed, my nails are not done for 1 year.. I am quite good in making nails myself, but I dont have time! Please tell me how do married woman find time fro their beauty routines or I am not organized?

SandC

You don't have to clean things every day. You don't have to cook things which take a lot of fuss and bother. You can prepare things in the morning before you go to work and then just pop them in the oven when you get home. What about the weekends, what do you do then?

amalis

SandC wrote: »

You don't have to clean things every day. You don't have to cook things which take a lot of fuss and bother. You can prepare things in the morning before you go to work and then just pop them in the oven when you get home. What about the weekends, what do you do then?

i dont cook complicated food, but anyway it takes about 40 min.
On weekend we ususally go out or do something together, again no time for myself.

jenhug

why not get a cleaner in if you can afford it? they could do a couple of hours on a friday and that would leave you some spare time at the weekend!

pinkshoes

amalis wrote: »

Hi,
i started to realise that now I look much worse than i did before i married. We are married for 2 years, no children. My usual day looks like this: come from work, cook, then my husband comes, we eat, i clean plates (no diswasher yet, and none is planned during the coming year), then again I clean something at home (ahh, there is always something to clean), then watch movie with my husband (even if i dont want to, he considers it is the only time we got to spend together) and then already it is time to sleep. I catastrophically dont have time for myself, for my beauty routine. I am quite a high maintenance (what to do, I am not gifted with natural beauty). I dont have time to go to massages, to go to sunbed, my nails are not done for 1 year.. I am quite good in making nails myself, but I dont have time! Please tell me how do married woman find time fro their beauty routines or I am not organized?

No offence, but are you a woman or a door mat???

The secret is learning to stand up for yourself!

My routine: I come in from work, I cook the meal (I'm home first, I LOVE cooking!), we eat, then HE washes up (well I cooked, so it's only fair). Two evenings we do something I want, two evenings we do what he wants, then the other 3 evenings we amuse ourselves.

As for the cleaning, we both have set jobs to do, so share it.

Just because you're married doesn't mean you become his slave!

amalis

my husband will not wash plates, that is already discussed many times with him. and the rest of cleaning.. he is astmatic, so start suffocating every time he starts cleaning dust or hoovering...what can i do?

kindofagilr

Totally agree with pinkshoes, no way would I let OH get the run of the house like that lol

We take it in turns to cook tea, whoever cooks washes up, and then we share what we watch on tv

Then at weekends we do something we both want.

I am sorry but your husband refusing to wash plates is a joke, as is the cleaning, I am sure there are plenty of people with asthma who clean!!!! I think he is looking for excuses.

newlywed

Surely you don't work 7 days a week though? Do you not get some time for yourself at weekends? That's the only time I get some "me time" - but we have two stepkids for half the week and both work full time.


Also look to buying a hoover with a hepa filter on the exhaust of the hoover. This made a huge difference to me being able to hoover with asthma - as it stops the dust being chucked back out of the other end of the vacuum/hoover.

BlondeHeadOn

amalis wrote: »

my husband will not wash plates, that is already discussed many times with him. and the rest of cleaning.. he is astmatic, so start suffocating every time he starts cleaning dust or hoovering...what can i do?

Teach him to cook instead then, usually lots of nice steam from pans of boiling water and hot food etc., very soothing for asthmatics!!



You can go to beauty salon immediately after work, come home and supper should be on the table, problem sorted !

MrsTinks

Astmatics can clean! If it's the chemicals that set him off then do chemical free cleaning (The Queens of Clean did a house for a very astmatic lady and showed her how to do it... Maybe buy the Cleaning Bible by Aggie and Kim - it will tell you all about how to do it all without a single chemical!) then he can do the cleaning and you can do the hoovering that might throw up any dust - fair I'd say!
As for what you can do... PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! I don't have much sympathy for the "beauty routine" but I think it's awful that your other half doesn't do any cleaning... is there a cultural reason to this? I notice (no offence) that your posts come across as not native english... obviously depending on back grounds there are some battles that can be harder than others... if he's british though I'd leave the dishes in the sink till he does them and go out and eat leaving him at home to sort himself out...
I cook most of our meals (I like my food edible and not cremated! He does try bless him and he can do a passable spag bol and jacket spud, but that's about the limit ) but the cleaning is reasonably shared. I'm home with our daughter at the moment so do more cleaning than him, but only just! When he gets in he does whatever needs doing, plays with his daughter, changes dirty nappies, helps in the kitchen, folds clothes etc I hoover during the week, he does weekends... A marriage is a partnership - they abolished slavery many years ago after all

pinkshoes

amalis wrote: »

my husband will not wash plates, that is already discussed many times with him. and the rest of cleaning.. he is astmatic, so start suffocating every time he starts cleaning dust or hoovering...what can i do?

Codswallop!

I'm also asthmatic, and manage hoovering no problems. If you do it 3 times a week it sucks up all the dust so makes me wheeze less. I keep the windows open when doing it.

Will not wash plates?? SERIOUSLY?? If he won't wash up, then serve him microwave meals from the plastic box they come in!

If my man refused to wash up, then I would refuse to cook. If he refused to help clean, then he can pay for a cleaner!

My OH loves watching films, but I just fall asleep, hence I'm only made to watch 1 a week, and it has to be something I agree to. He can watch his fighting rubbish in his own free time!