MSE Parents Club Part 5

feelinggood_2

Don't apologise for saying this on here - I think most of us (well, I definitely have) have been through feelings of not doing a good job. Being a perfectionist is something that the GP picked up on when I saw her the other day, seem to be common.

Does DH have much experience of babies? Does he have a sister, or perhaps his Mum or Auntie who could explain in a gentle way about the sleep thing? All women know it is important to sleep when the baby sleeps, but some men don't get it until it is explained to them clearly.

Moneymaker - well done to you!! I'm up and dressed for 10am, which is a big thing, and I'm getting picked up at 10:15, getting nervous!

tiamai_d

r.mac and Jvic, (((huge hugs for you both))). The only way I got DH to realise how hard it really is was to go get a job and be away for 2 weeks. He had changed his mind from I was just being mainly lazy to oh right, this is what tiredness really is!!! Men (no offence Bruno and MOTM) don't get it unless they do it. Nobody really understands that dragging feeling when you have not been getting a good 7/8 hours of solid sleep unless they do it, and then there is the hormones and the stress of dealing with a baby without a break. Even if you do get a break, you've to plan it all out beforehand anyway.

You should both go out for the day and leave your DH alone at home with baby, no doing things to make it easy for them like settling out clothes/making bottles etc and no answering the phone when they call to ask 'how do I....'. But then, that's exrtreme and it depemnds how deperate you are. Hope you find a way to get it sorted out.

MrsTinks

r.mac - you're doing a fab job and I know how you feel I went through that a few weeks ago
Hubby thankfully is a sensible sort and knows better than to complain about the state of the house! I also think it bothers me more than it bothers him If he doesn't lie what has been washed then I'd tell him to soddin well do it himself! Ditto dinner - if he doesn't like what I have cooked he can cook his own! Thankfully 99% of the time he's happy to whatever is put in front of him - so long as there are no visible mushrooms he's good LOL
As for ironed shirts... I told hubby when we got together that I'd clean, cook and love him - I'd never iron his shirts. I don't DO ironing. So far 4 1/2 years together and I haven't done a single of his shirts Tell your hubby to do his own!

BrunoM

r.mac wrote: »

Thanks feely, yes we've sat down and talked. I can't really explain how I feel. The Dr thought I was suffering from bieng a high achiever and having high standards that others can't/don't live up to and that I beat myself up too much over things that aren't perfect. This mornings row was set off by DH complaining he didn't have an ironed shirt, that the washing 'smelled' (how I'm not sure as it hadn't been left sitting in the machine) and telling me that I need to get used to just having a nightime sleep and stop sleeping when baby sleeps. Yet he doesn't think he was criticising. I feel that he's just pulled my best efforts to shreds and that i'm not doing a good job (where's savvy when I need her!!!)

I'm sorry about saying all this on here and normally I wouldn't but I don't know how to fix this and who to talk to about it (my prefered choices aren't available right now!) and you aren't real IYKWIM.

For god's sake :mad: I am sure from his point-of-view what he is saying may make sense, but from yours it is totally unreasonable. Agh it makes me mad reading it. It sounds like maybe you need a talk about reasonable expectations and what things you are not doing so as to make time for your 6 month old baby, and what things he might need to pick up, etc...

Grrr. Good luck.

Sami_Bee

BrunoM wrote: »

Lovely cat, and baby, pics thanks posters we got a baby instead of a cat too, though we have a catflap which Elijah is utterly fascinated with and will spend minutes at a time sitting there batting. He managed to pull it out of the door-frame once... :eek:

you do all realise Cats are far cheaper and easier to care for than babies don't you?
or should I say did you not realise this before choosing baby over cat lol

I hope Elijah is too big to fit through the cat flap :eek: :rotfl:

R.mac. I don't no how to help but I hope it gets sorted :kisses3:

feelinggood_2

Special thanks for Sami Thanks for the 'insert name for boys private, I don't know what to call it' help, that makes sense and I shall stop worrying. It doesn't both him, it just suprised me a bit! Luckily he hasn't wee'd on me for a while.

He is in his carseat blowing raspberries at me!

money_maker_3

r.mac, I dont know what to say, so I am just sending ((hugs)) instead.

Have fun out today feelie

Sami_Bee

feelinggood wrote: »

Special thanks for Sami Thanks for the 'insert name for boys private, I don't know what to call it' help, that makes sense and I shall stop worrying. It doesn't both him, it just suprised me a bit! Luckily he hasn't wee'd on me for a while.

He is in his carseat blowing raspberries at me!

you're welcome just to let you know I found it out from google it when it happened to Chris and then checked with my HV to make sure what I found was correct and she said yes, it's one of those questions she gets asked alot.
How cute of Toby, have a nice time at your coffee morning

PS. in our house it's a Winky

newmoneysaver_2

Feelie - well done on going out again! and BTW, from what I've read on here on the preg thread I'd def leave my little one with you if you did decide to go into childminding. I hav no doubt you be doingcos you love children rather than it being the easy option

Mel - congrats on the course :T
Hus to rmac!

I feel so ill today - hardly slept cos of constant runny nose, sore throat ans sneezing. I had to get hubby to do the 4am feed cos I was just soo tired and I don't thonk I could have managed the feed with the need to blow my nose ans sneeze. I felt so guilt cos LO kept being sick, had to hav a change of clothes and new bedding cos he kept being sick. Hubby only got an another hour before his alarm went off

Must back a move, HV is due at 12 and I so can't be bothered with her! Just wanna sleep cos LO is asleep!!

Jvic28

r.mac, you sound like you've got it a bit worse than me. My OH never really says anything but I get the feeling he's having digs sometimes. I feel like most days when he comes home and asks me what I've been up to, it's like I've got to give him an itinery of things I've done like he's my boss. We had a bit of a barny last night which ended in me saying I was home to look after the baby not be his paid help. He apologised for making me feel that way and all is good.

Really need to get a shuffle on today though as we're leaving for Kent in the morning and I haven't packed anything for myself yet. Baby done, OH done, me nowt.