How do I broach bill-splitting when dining out with friends?

Katyag

My friend asked me to go on a hen night of one of her friends (someone i didnt know) so she would know someone there. It was to an Indian and I dont really like indian food but went for the sake of a night out.

It was the day before I went on holiday so wanting to keep as much of my cash for my holiday as possible, I had no alcohol and the cheapest thing on the menu. When the bill arrived it was split between us without the hen having to pay a thing! I was fuming but cause I didnt know them I didnt feel I could complain.

Ive learnt my lesson there!

geri1965_2

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

The problem was, for some reason one extra meal turned up. Instead of sending it back, those who were not eating nibbled at the meal while the rest of us were eating. Then everyone went on to a night club leaving me and OH to settle the bill... and pay for the 'unwanted meal'!

This happened to me once - one of the girls decided she would have the unwanted meal (pizza) instead of the meal she had ordered (pasta) but the pasta dish didn't get sent back, it just sat on the table. At the end of the meal, she asked if anyone wanted the pasta (they didn't) so she took it home. Then she left before everyone else, paid for one meal and left the rest of us to cover the cost of the 'spare' that she had taken home!

She actually tried to get away with just paying £5 (as it was any pasta or pizza for £5) but I pointed out that she also had garlic bread so she ended up paying £8 for a pasta dish, pizza and portion of garlic bread.

bungle4x4

Queen-Bee wrote: »

I'd really appreciate some thoughts/advice on this one.

I've recently been made redundant, and have to be very, very careful with money.

A couple of times I have been out with friends for supper and have been very careful to choose the cheaper dishes on the menu, forgo starter/pudding etc, and not have any wine, asking for tap water instead.

However, when the bill came, on both occasions (with different sets of friends), it was split equally, three ways.

If the positions were reversed, I would have been sensitive enough to suggest we carve it up so that the person in my position only paid for what they actually ordered.

Do people think this is reasonable? And if so, any suggestions as to how I might be able to raise it without making an issue about it?

I didn't say anything on either occasion. It annoyed me that I ended up subsidising other people's choices at a time when I am financially stretched.

I don't want to cut myself off from all social contact with my friends, but would rather not let this happen again.

its dead easy, say 'i'm not in a postition to pick up the tab, how about going dutch mate'.

Pssst

OP take a tip from tight wad gazette.

Feed your face and when someone sends for the bill,use the opportunity to nip to the loo.

If your lucky,it will be paid when you return.

jfdi

Like some of the above this is a whinge in principal, more than coz I can't afford it.

There are 3 of us girls who meet occassionally for lunch; me in a decent job, A who's in an OK job but still gets a little HB, and B who's on IB / DLA / HB & CTB. We order similar meals, drinks etc (none very expensive) & split the bill 3 ways. I put in my money + a £1 or so for a tip, A does the same, B adds it up then tops it up to the total (thereby absorbing our tip monies!). No problem if B is on the breadline.

So this week I've been MSNing her in Canada - where she's gone for 3 weeks! Now I know how she can afford it!

I'll send her a postcard from my tent in Devon soon!

becs

I'm one of the ones who normally splits the bill equally, however I have to say it is never in my favour since I'm usually driving as I don't drink. This doesn't bother me unless the people I'm with are deliberately taking advantage. We have some friends who we've been out for dinner with to Pizza express before, both DH and I belong to the club costing us £80 a year. It means we get various vouchers and things throughout the year. On a couple of occassions certain friends have been out with us when we've used 2 x free main course and drinks vouchers and we've still ended up splitting the bill equally. they thought because we had vouchers we hadn't paid for them, obviously we paid for the vouchers by paying the £80 up front so in effect ended up paying twice! We don't go out for dinner with them anymore, I have other firends where we go to split the bill equally and they then add in a bit extra for their drinks and deduct it from mine.
I'm quite happy for anyone to just pay what they have had if they are on a budget and I wouldn't have a problem with this at all. I do have to agree however that the calculator thing is exceptionally annoying! Why can't they just work out appx what they've spent and put that in or is it that they are so awful at maths that they have to have a calculator.

remembered_nights

The only time this happened to me (work...) I rounded up what I'd spent, put it in the dish and said 'that's mine paid for'. I didn't care what they thought tbh, they were all on higher wages than me and had drunk a helluva lot more so that's their call.

pretzelnut

We occasionally treat family to a meal out - usually if they have done us a favour.

We always state upfront that we are paying. Luckilly none of our family take the michael and they always get their drinks with their own cash from the bar.

Occasionally when we are having a random family sunday lunch out for no real occasion we split the bill according to what we have eaten / drunk, we all have different financial circumstances and this is the only fair way. But thats family and these things are easily discussed or mentioned when the original invite comes through. We have 2 plates - 1 with the bill on it which gets passed around for us to add up what we have had and put our money on, usually their is money on their for people to take their change, and another plate for a tip if you choose to leave one.

When we go out with friends we always ask the waiter at the time of ordering for seperate bills and just mention that we are watching the pennies. No one has a problem with this.

I rarely drink and neither does DF as he drives. I am not bothered about only paying our part of the bill - i dont see why i should have to pay for someone else's drink.

We also DONT buy rounds of drinks either - seems a bit unfair when we drink coke or lemonade at £1 a glass to have to buy everyone else's drinks at £2.50 each.

If we get asked if we would like a drink we politely say no thanks - we are soon out of the round and get ours when we are ready.

When i was younger we used to share taxi's home after a night out but it was a set fair of £25 as we lived 30 miles away from any civilisation so we knew that we have £6.25 each to pay and this was usually booked in advance and paid for in advance - then if someone didnt turn up for their lift home cos they met someone or were too drunk - the rest of us didnt miss our lift home or end up out of pocket.

I did once go out for a works do - something that all the staff had been talking about for weeks, they had even nipped intot he restaurant and got menu's so they knew in advance what the most expensive things on the menu were. As the boss paid for everything including all the drinks. Most of the staff didnt even like what they were ordering - it was purely a case of im ordering it cos there paying. I couldnt believe the sheer cheek of some of the staff, i remember the bill was over £1000 for 10 staff members.

I think once you tell people what your prepared to do they listen. After all they could quite easily end up in exactly the same position. You just have to stand your ground sometimes as their will always be people that think the world owes them a living - which is fine but you and I arent paying for it.

*Louise*

I like reading threads like this - it's interesting to see other people's perceptions on an issue like this.

I have never had a problem when out with members of my family. Everyone works out what their meal was and rounds it up, usually leaves a good tip at the end. Simple

I went out with OH's family once for someone's birthday meal - never again. 'Someone' (never found out who) decided that the cost of the meal should be split equally between the 6 men present :rolleyes: That's all very well - but one man had his wife and 3 children with him, another had his wife and 2 grown up daughters, 2 of the women had drunk 3 bottles of wine between them (OH and I drank juice) etc etc so we were having to subsidise all of them.
Never been out for a big group meal like that again, we have drinks and nibbles at ours for birthdays now lol

loracan1

What is it about indian restaurants bringing out the worst in people?
One occasion many years ago, out as part of a couple with another couple. We all had similar meals, my partner's was slightly more expensive (less than £2 extra) but he was designated driver and on cola. Bill comes, it's ~£45...now most reasonable people might consider that £25 each couple. Not the other girl though...working as a teacher she announced their half was £15, think she was knocking off all the .95s from their dishes, she just couldn't see that we'd all had pretty much the same value meal. And insisted on borrowing a calculator from the waiter who just kept shrugging his shoulders and saying 'why not pay half each?' It still gives me nightmares...