How do I broach bill-splitting when dining out with friends?

Pink_Princess_1

When we go out for meals as couples one of the couples are always short of money and therefore buy their drinks from the bar and just pay for what they eat - we all understand this and nobody thinks any less of them. On the other hand we had some other friends who were quite happy to split the bill when we went to the local Italian the problem was all 10 of us ordered from the happy hour menu (3.95) and they both ordered specials at £15 each:eek: It wouln't have been so bad had they offered to pay more when the bill arrived needless to say we dont dine out with these people anymore - they did this twice and havnt had a invite since.

MrsE_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

What annoys me in these situations is when you've sat and had just the main meal and a jug of water ... while everybody else ordered starters, wine, king prawn everything plus extras they never ate, more wine, coffee, couple of brandies .... then when you point out you spent £8 so here's £10 ... they make out YOU are being tight, or unfair. It's the greedy !!!!!!!!!!s that are the tight/unfair ones.

I don't know how to solve it. I always pay for myself when I go out, even if I have to dig my heels in (because if I am sat there with just £10 in my pocket I can 't split the bill and magic up £20-25 out of thin air).... but they do make you feel like !!!!!!.

We need a phrase that says "It's FAIR that we all pay for what we had - so the freeloading b4stards among us don't get a chance to ponce by bullying others to pay for it ... "

If I could thank you post 100 times I would.
My DD has this sometimes with her workmates. Most of them earn a lot more, shes driving & so not drinking.
Yes she "can" afford to subsidise them, but why the hell should she:mad:

MrsE_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The only thing more annoying than having to split the bill equally between those on a strict budget and the self-indulgent is having a person at the table who whips out a calculator and pays their share (excluding tip) to the penny.

Whats your problem with this?

They are paying for their share & the tip issue uis between them & the waiter/ess:rolleyes:

SugarSpun

Oh, I've just remembered a horrible occasion - my teenage boyfriend and I went bowling with some friends. The game was £4.50, and everyone dropped in a fiver - but when it came down to it there was no change. Through a process of elimination it turned out it was my boyfriend who hadn't put in and his excuse was that he didn't have change but would owe everyone 50p.

He went off to the bar later, failed to come back with change but did bring himself a Coke. And then as we were heading home just the two of us, he commented that it was a fun night for the price of a Coke.

He didn't last long after that.

I also went on a date with an American guy once, he put down to the penny what he owed, telling me (a European) that they don't tip in Europe. I politely explained that they do and left enough to cover my tip as well as his. He took the extra from the table and tried to walk out with it after offering to buy me a drink after dinner. I made him stop, still inside the restaurant, and informed him that I would not be paying for my own drink with the money he'd taken from me that was intended for the staff and to hand it over to them since the place was somewhere I went a lot and had no intention of being embarrassed the next time I was there. He dropped it in their tip jar, decided he was too tired for that drink and scarpered. He was a friend of my flatmate, and by the time I got home he'd already rung to complain about how rude and obnoxious I was. I explained. She didn't bother trying to tell me off.

MrsE_2

I'm not "hard up" (but I'm certainly not rich).

But I still hate sharing the bill equally.

Because I hate freeloaders & there are always some.

OR I might want to have the expensive options myself & I don't want to impose those choices on others pockets.

So I'm happy to pay for mine & my share of the tip, but I don't want others to subsidise, nor will I subsidise them. Thats actually the only FAIR way.

BitterAndTwisted

MrsE wrote: »

Whats your problem with this?

They are paying for their share & the tip issue is between them & the waiter/ess:rolleyes:

My problem is that even if I were on the strictest of budgets my own inclination would be to pay up for what I had, rounding it up to the nearest fiver to compensate for others who round down, leaving nothing for the waiting staff and sometimes not enough to cover the actual bill. That's because I hate having to go through the shame of totting everything up in front of the entire restaurant. But I accept we're not all the same and that's often what makes life so interesting

kr15snw

Im happy to split the bill as many ways as there are people. But Im happy to pay our exact share if someone wants to.

I always remember one experience though, which seriously put me off a small group of friends.

We went for an indian for a friends birthday. It was a tad of an expensive restaurant but it was his 18th so we didnt mind splashing a tad more than normal.

It started when they asked if we would like popadoms, we said yes and had a plate brought to us with dips etc.

Then when we order meals you order the meat / sauce and they ask what rice you would like with that.

Then at the end they asked if we would like a traditional indian shot (I have no idea what it was, but boy was it strong and the start to a good night).

So the bill turns up, and obviously we've been charged for the popadoms, dips, rice and after meal drink. (this seemed normal to me)

There were about 10 of us there and the birthday boy instantly announces can we split it individually as hes a bit low on cash (now seeing as every dish is the same price and no one put drinks on the tab this made no sense to me).

So everyone adds up their bill, puts the cash down and walks over the road to another bar leaving me and one of my friends to add it up and add our share. We realised we were very short. So we thought we would sort it out later and added extra (we paid about £50 each, which was about an extra £60) and took the bill.

When we discussed this with the others their attitude was 'well i didnt order the popodoms, so im not paying for them. The rice was free so im not paying for that, oh and the drinks was forced on me so Im not paying that either' Uhhhh they all agreed they wanted it, ate it and said they enjoyed it!

No matter what we said or pushed, 4 of the group refused to pay any more. (The rest of the group were deeply apologetic and paid us back as soon as we showed them the bill). It turned into a huge argument and the 4 (including the birthday boy and his girlfriend) stormed off. We ended up having a great night without them, but it ruined it for us and we've never been the same since...

zzzLazyDaisy

People are strange aren't they?

I was once out with a group of friends. Some were eating, some weren't. We each totted up what we had ordered and put the money in. So far so good.

The problem was, for some reason one extra meal turned up. Instead of sending it back, those who were not eating nibbled at the meal while the rest of us were eating. Then everyone went on to a night club leaving me and OH to settle the bill... and pay for the 'unwanted meal'!

ceridwen

MrsE wrote: »

I'm not "hard up" (but I'm certainly not rich).

But I still hate sharing the bill equally.

Because I hate freeloaders & their are always some.

OR I might want to have the expensive options myself & I don't want to impose those choices on others pockets.

So I'm happy to pay for mine & my share of the tip, but I don't want others to subsidise, nor will I subsidise them. Thats actually the only FAIR way.

Quite - and thats the other side of the equation - ie that if you feel a bit more "flush" and want to treat yourself, as theres something you particularly fancy on the menu once in a while - then you can do so in good conscience if you know you're covering your own costs (rather than having other people subsidise you).

WolfSong2000

I'm normally quite good at figuring out in advance how the bill will be split when out with friends, but I've had good and bad experiences with people I didn't know so well...

when I was 18, I went out to a restaurant with a group of friends, one of whom had brought along her new boyfriend, who I took an immediate dislike to. When it came time to split the bill, he flat out refused to pay, and made the rest of us pay extra to cover his share...I did it, grudgingly, but made it very clear I never wanted anything to do with him again.

A really good experience I had was in Las Vegas...I was attending a concert and had met some people earlier who I knew through the message boards for the band I was seeing...anyhow, I wandered into the hotel restaurant, and a couple from earlier saw me and called me over, inviting me to eat with them. We had a great time, chatting and what not, and at the end of the meal they insisted on paying for me - wouldn't take no for an answer. It was totally unexpected, but a really sweet gesture .