help with live in mother

pinkshoes

My dad is 61 and still skis!!

You must stop cooking and cleaning for her IMMEDIATELY, or at least only serve her salad and vegetable due to her weight.

And do not buy her any snacks. She can waddle to the shop to get her own.

It's a piece of cake for fat people to lose weight; they just have to stop eating and start exercising.

This woman needs to get herself a life!

SUESMITH_2

you poor thing, my grandad moved in with us and nearly drove my mum and dad to nervous breakdowns - he drank, didnt wash, spitted on the floor and on one occasion my mum came home to find him peeing in the saucepans (eugh). dad had lots of brothers and sisters but no one would help (grandad had no money or property) - even when mums sister was terminally ill the local family wouldnt help, in the end dads brother drove and sat with him so mum could go and say goodbye - when he died it was such a relief.

oh mum and dad are mid 80s and still live independantly - his dad still works and ran the london marathon when he was 80 just to prove he could. his mum is crippled with arthritis, heart failure and blood clotting problems but despite being in constant pain in unfailingly cheerful

age is a state of mind, your mum is only a few years older than my oh i he certainly isnt old! i wish my mum and dad had had courage to kick grandad out, please do it for all your sakes

gunsandbanjos

pinkshoes wrote: »

My dad is 61 and still skis!!

Sounds like my dad, for his 60th birthday he learnt to SCUBA dive:p He has his PADI now and dives regularly.


OP you are a saint for putting up with her! I'd probably have poisoned her a long time ago:o

Well done for standing up to her, i hope you can resolve the situation quickly for your sanity.

consultant31

pinkshoes wrote: »

My dad is 61 and still skis!!

You must stop cooking and cleaning for her IMMEDIATELY, or at least only serve her salad and vegetable due to her weight.

And do not buy her any snacks. She can waddle to the shop to get her own.

It's a piece of cake for fat people to lose weight; they just have to stop eating and start exercising.

This woman needs to get herself a life!

This is just so untrue and just the sort of rubbish normally spouted by one of life's naturally slim people. I run a Slimming World group (and struggle with my own weight) and if it were that easy, I'd be out of a job.

ceridwen

Wondering how its going re the mother moving out?......

(I expect we're now in tears/emotional blackmail territory - but hold fast O.P.)

margaretclare

consultant31 wrote: »

This is just so untrue and just the sort of rubbish normally spouted by one of life's naturally slim people. I run a Slimming World group (and struggle with my own weight) and if it were that easy, I'd be out of a job.

I agree. In addition, as we get older the metabolism slows down and if there are health problems - arthritis, heart disease, whatever - you can hardly go to the gym and start running on treadmills or using rowing machines. In spite of creating a calorie deficit I can only lose weight oh so sloooowly, and I want to lose 3 1/2 stone.

However, having said all that, the lady is most definitely NOT helping herself by remaining immobile and snacking on 'treats', especially in the evenings, when our metabolism slows down anyway - less energy is needed for sleep. That is absolutely the last thing she needs to do. All those so-called 'treats' are useless, not food, not what we need in evolutionary terms.

Maybe she should get out there and join a Slimming World group! This is what I found, which is helping me: www.weightlossresources.co.uk

But I also agree with those who said that age is only a state of mind. I don't feel 'old', don't consider myself to be old, and I can give that lady a few years!

consultant31

margaretclare wrote: »

......... the lady is most definitely NOT helping herself by remaining immobile and snacking on 'treats', especially in the evenings, when our metabolism slows down anyway - less energy is needed for sleep. That is absolutely the last thing she needs to do. All those so-called 'treats' are useless, not food, not what we need in evolutionary terms.

Maybe she should get out there and join a Slimming World group!

But I also agree with those who said that age is only a state of mind. I don't feel 'old', don't consider myself to be old, and I can give that lady a few years!

100% agree. I've just turned 60 and would kill anybody with the temerity to call me old :mad:

PasturesNew

She's probably quite desperately lonely. She's not old yet immobile and now not even in control of her own home. She probably feels like a spare part.

It's not how she imagined it. She probably imagined she'd be happier, freer ... would lose that weight.

She needs to get her own life back. Track down all local properties for sale that are in places specifically for "Over 50s". She'd be better among people of her own age, in charge of her own space. Mostly, these over 50s places are cheaper than a property of the same size that isn't age-restricted, so she should have the money to buy one and still have cash in the bank.

seven-day-weekend

consultant31 wrote: »

100% agree. I've just turned 60 and would kill anybody with the temerity to call me old :mad:

I'm the same age as the lady in question (I hope the resemblance ends there!:eek: )

No way am I 'old'! I thought I was reading about someone at least twenty-five years older.

It's a good age to enjoy life as often you are child-and mortgage-free and if you are early retired like we are, you have the time to do what you want to do - hobbies, volunteeering, travelling around the world, swinging from the chandiliers, whatever.

I agree that the OP must tell her mother to make alternative arrangements asap. If she still has capital,then a small bungalow or flat for retired people is possible.

Good luck!

margaretclare

Yes, she does need to get her own life back.