Domestic violence-its not just physical

Cassie** · 24 July 2009 at 4:01PM

lostinrates wrote: »

There was a relly interesting thing on Radio four about domestic violence/abuse this morning and the support available through th workplace. I think it was probably woman's hour: it might be interesting for you OP.

On of the most practical suggestions was that work can provide a safe, secure and ''secret''place to start squirreling things away so you can get out quickly without leaving too much behind (clothes, medication etc).

Up to now I only have a locker,but I intend to start using that for some stuff.Half the problem is the awful fear of him finding stuff out,and the consequences.

diable · 24 July 2009 at 4:06PM

Cassie** wrote: »

Up to now I only have a locker,but I intend to start using that for some stuff.Half the problem is the awful fear of them finding out,and the consequences.

That is worrying, you are fearing a reaction to something regarding your safety? Keep a diary of any comments, your fears and your worries.

No one should put up with any form of abuse, jeeez I can't believe that this still goes on.

Cassie** · 24 July 2009 at 4:09PM

If i wrote it down,I would spend hours writing,these things take you over,consume you with fear of his reaction.I never,ever thought this could happen to me.You give in because it's easier than the constant arguing and being mentally beaten down.A few months ago someone rang to speak to me,a male voice, someone he didn't know,he was in a foul mood as usual and said "who is it.She is not in."I was sitting about 5 feet away.Yet I dare not say anything.

diable · 24 July 2009 at 4:14PM

Cassie** wrote: »

If i wrote it down,I would spend hours writing,these things take you over,consume you with fear of his reaction.I never,ever thought this could happen to me.

My heart goes out to you, you should not have to put up with this, be strong and get out, even go to the Police to speak to someone regarding domestic violence.

Cassie** · 24 July 2009 at 4:20PM

Thank you,I am realising this now,and I have some great support from an organisation and they are helping me see the obvious and lead me through it,I am so grateful for their support,they are not forcing me,I will do it,I hope in my own time.I also have one friend who does not live near but is always available to stay with if I had to. in the short term,but obviously I have to work.But you see,his moods,they are up and down all the time,it is confusing and often overwhelming.

diable · 24 July 2009 at 4:30PM

Get on top of the situation, weak men either at work or within the community will abuse, stand up to him, grab him by the balls and tell him not to f*****g mess with you or else. Tell him its all documented with the Police and one bruise and he is in the cells. But do make sure you have somewhere to stay if need be and where he doesn't know about.

diable · 24 July 2009 at 4:31PM

F**k I can't understand why these b******s are still aloud to be alive. Sorry rant over. Apologies to all.

Cassie** · 24 July 2009 at 5:07PM

diable wrote: »

Get on top of the situation, weak men either at work or within the community will abuse, stand up to him, grab him by the balls and tell him not to f*****g mess with you or else. Tell him its all documented with the Police and one bruise and he is in the cells. But do make sure you have somewhere to stay if need be and where he doesn't know about.

He is charge of a lot of people at work.He is used to telling other people what to do.I have tried to stand up to him,sometimes I succeed,but the abusive stuff still follows,being interrupted,or ignored, sulking,control or nasty. Firing questions,not allowing me to answer.It doesn't stop.