Domestic violence-its not just physical

Cassie**

I am going to find a happier life out there.I just hope I can keep the momentum.

belfastgirl23

Glad to hear you're gathering your strength Cassie...do you have a plan???

Cassie**

Not exactly.I hope to find a better paid job,to find a room in a shared house maybe,I could not even afford that at the moment.The saying it will be the hardest because once i say it ,if I thought my life was hell before,that will be nothing in comparison to what it will be when I tell him.But there are financial issues that mean I can't leave till I have made some changes.

Blackpool_Saver

Cassie** wrote: »

Not exactly.I hope to find a better paid job,to find a room in a shared house maybe,I could not even afford that at the moment.The saying it will be the hardest because once i say it ,if I thought my life was hell before,that will be nothing in comparison to what it will be when I tell him.But there are financial issues that mean I can't leave till I have made some changes.

You know we will be here to support you while you make the changes

belfastgirl23

Cassie** wrote: »

Not exactly.I hope to find a better paid job,to find a room in a shared house maybe,I could not even afford that at the moment.The saying it will be the hardest because once i say it ,if I thought my life was hell before,that will be nothing in comparison to what it will be when I tell him.But there are financial issues that mean I can't leave till I have made some changes.

That's a pretty good start

Emmzi

Cassie, if you don't have kids, there's nothing stopping you. I bet you could find a room for £75 a week tops, bills included. Have a look on gumtree and see, I think it will be less than you think. And to have your self esteem and freedom back - what price?

Also look at entitledto.com.

diable

Physical abuse will eventually heel but the scars from mental abuse will always stay if they cut too deep, get out before your life is totally screwed. People like this like to be in control as they are insecure and jealous of the freedom and freedom of thought you may have. I have seen it in the past the snide comments, putting ones partner down in public, calling someone stupid or a slapper as someone's boyfriend called a girl who I was talking to (got banned from my local for a day because of that little incident but she left him) and it just goes on getting worse. People like this don't change unless they get counselling and help.

Cassie**

diable wrote: »

Physical abuse will eventually heel but the scars from mental abuse will always stay if they cut too deep, get out before your life is totally screwed. People like this like to be in control as they are insecure and jealous of the freedom and freedom of thought you may have. I have seen it in the past the snide comments, putting ones partner down in public, calling someone stupid or a slapper as someone's boyfriend called a girl who I was talking to (got banned from my local for a day because of that little incident but she left him) and it just goes on getting worse. People like this don't change unless they get counselling and help.

Before we were fully together,I used the f word once (I don't swear very often) .He called me a" Foul Mouthed !!!!!. " (HOAR to misspelll it)At the time I thought he was joking,because that is his sense of humour.....if only i had seen it then.

lostinrates

There was a relly interesting thing on Radio four about domestic violence/abuse this morning and the support available through th workplace. I think it was probably woman's hour: it might be interesting for you OP.

On of the most practical suggestions was that work can provide a safe, secure and ''secret''place to start squirreling things away so you can get out quickly without leaving too much behind (clothes, medication etc).

diable

There are lots of people out there with mental/behavioural problems, you just need to be able to realise it quickly and leave. I read some of the threads on here and am saddened by the behaviour of people/partners, where has the loving relationship evaporated too, where people are caring and loving to each other. All it seems to be now is "I am better than you and don't forget about it" and "how can I make your life as miserable as mine" and "you are weak and I will screw/use you" Jesus what has become of normal people and has this state bread these people intentionally just to furnish Jeremy Kyle with cannon fodder?