No children at wedding

kr15snw

Thinking about this again. Its not the kids at weddings that annoy me, as they are just kids and they are doing what they know best!

Its the parents who cant be bothered to take them out of the ceremony while they scream, to tell them off for destroying the decorations, and control them for running onto the dance floor in the middle of the first dance!

debtfreein4years

im planning on having a no kids wedding although i have to invite my cousins as my aunt and uncle are flying over from australia for the wedding so i cant not invite them. they will be 5 and 3 at the time of the wedding and i know that they will behave as their parents dont stand any nonsense from them.

Whilst none of our friends have kids yet we will be relaxing the rule if needed as just about everyone is having to travel. for the wedding portion kids will be welcome but ive already told my parents that if any of them start misbehaving and their parents dont get them out the church then i will be stopping the wedding and waiting untill said child is removed. i dont care how old the child in question is, they will be getting taken out of the church even if i have to take the child out myself.

the reception is no kids no matter who they are related to. i will arrange babysitters but no kids are being taken to the reception venue. this is mainly because of the location of the venue (inside the local forces base) and licensing laws of the venue. kids are allowed up to 8pm, but due to the location its a logistical nightmare getting people signed in and out etc.

frankly i dont care if anyone is offended due to the no kids rule as its our day not theirs and we are not setting the day up to cater to their kids requirements. breastfeeding mothers will be catered for with regards to having their child with them but it will not be advertised amongst other guests and if they cause a fuss on the day they will be reminded that it is our day and not theirs.

i know its a bit ott but if people cant control their children then i dont want them spoiling our day.

svjenni

Luckily i don't reall have an issue as none of my day guests have kids except my sis an oh brother - the kids willdefinatly be coming, however we have lots of willing babysiters in the family in case one gets noisy.

flea72

melancholly wrote: »

seems really unfair to suggest all people are like that..... as unfair as suggesting all children will wreck a wedding (which no-one has done, it's all about the highly vocal minority - and anyway on the whole the fault likes with the bad parents and not the kids themselves!)

in what way unfair? as i dont see where i said all people who dont want kids at their wedding react like that

But tbh, the people who are saying no kids, are also saying 'me, me me' 'its my day', so i would expect people with that sort of attitude, to feel that you have snubbed then personally, if you dont attend, seeing as you havent cow-towed to their requests, and have put your family first

Flea

Wench

I am absolutly hating that children will be coming to my wedding, but all of our friends ( except maybe 2 couples ) have children,
I have 3 kids of my own, and for some reason, people think if you have kids, you must love kids.. actually I don't, I can't stand other peoples children.
The OH's sister actually has 7 children ( 5 of them are 7 & under ) and I'm hoping and praying she can't make the wedding, I don't want all of kids there !!

Actually, my friends children arn't that bad, You get into that small group of friends, where you can tell the child off without the parent coming over to lamp you one, but with OH's sister.. i dont know her kids, they don;t know me (I'd rather it wa kept that way )

Purely selfish post here to whine about kids

I might go and stick something up on the wedding site of mine.. no kids under 3... that'll mean 3 of her's won;t be able to come. haha

mumps

Reading this thread has made me really glad that we just went off with immediate family and two close friends without any fuss. No new clothes, special licence and one days notice. No stress, no falling out, not much money spent. It really was my day and I loved it. Oh there were two children and they were fine, six adults and us so total of ten. I hope everyone is able to enjoy their day as much as I enjoyed mine.

dizziblonde

flea72 wrote: »

in what way unfair? as i dont see where i said all people who dont want kids at their wedding react like that

But tbh, the people who are saying no kids, are also saying 'me, me me' 'its my day', so i would expect people with that sort of attitude, to feel that you have snubbed then personally, if you dont attend, seeing as you havent cow-towed to their requests, and have put your family first

Flea

That would be me then. If you read my initial post on the issue you might get some understanding of exactly WHY I don't want kids around - I find them very painful emotionally to be around on non-work occasions at the moment and I don't want my entire wedding day to be spent feeling like that. It is MY day - if someone wants to take the hump because their kid isn't invited to somewhere they'd be bored witless at and not come - I don't want them there anyway no great loss. I'd be quite happy grabbing a couple of witnesses off the street and eloping to be honest so I'm hardly going to be bothered if 2 people from my guest list decide to do a no-show (the ones in question will um and ah and complain but miraculously find a babysitter - there's free food in it for them so they'll end up being there - I know them too well!). If they don't want to come - their problem, to be honest out of our guest list there are about 5-6 people we've actually picked to be on there and the rest are the relatives we HAVE to invite or friends of my mother.

Put your family first by all means - but I'm sick to death of being bullied and emotionally blackmailed into everything in my life and this is one thing I'm sticking to my guns on. Sad I've had to put this blanket ban on for those who wouldn't bother to supervise their kids properly (probably 2 of the sets there - one mainly encouraged by a doting grandfather who just can't see that other people might not be delighted his grandaughter is running laps around rooms tripping people over) because another friend's son would be beautifully behaved - I just can't be seen to play favourites, and my family manage to make every social event into an arm-twisting session of stepping on tiptoes, so, considering half of them backstab each other (and me) at any available opportunity - I'm quite prepared to give them something to get REALLY het up over.

Neeny82

This does seem to be a sensitive subject! I can fully understand why due to numbers someone would chose not to have children at their wedding. I think the thing for me and OH was that, firstly neither of us had considered that children would not be part of the day, secondly we had the capacity at our venue and most importantly we would hate for someone special to us to not be able to come if they could not get a baby sitter for example.

We are having 24 children at the wedding. 8 of which are under 2 (so complimentary! bonus) then the majority of the rest are under 5. We are having a bouncy castle and activity packs on the tables. We also know each of the kids personally! Our friends are also of the responsible and accountable variety, they would not let their children run riot at al especially not at a wedding and we know this so I can honestly say I have no reservations abut sharing my day with lots of kiddies! But again I fully accept other peoples reasons for not wanting kids there!

MsChazzer

iwanttosave wrote: »

I'd rather have a cheaper venue than exclude people because I can't afford them to be honest.

Same here, we never even considered not inviting children, for us it was important that our friends and family were able to bring their children, although in the end there weren't that many there. We included them in the budget from the beginning.

The children that were there really made the day, especially the two little girls that had never met before and became great buddies. Yes, my cousin's 2 year old cried a bit in the ceremony but not for long, and my 2 year old bridesmaid was talking a bit, but we quite liked hearing that - silence can be deafening as they say! Maybe if the crying had gone on and the talking had been loud it might have been annoying but it was fine.

Each to their own though, I did see House for an Art Lover in Glasgow set up for a wedding and it didn't look very child friendly. My answer to that would be to go somewhere else that was, but I suppose if that's what you want maybe saying no kids makes sense.

melancholly

flea72 wrote: »

in what way unfair? as i dont see where i said all people who dont want kids at their wedding react like that

But tbh, the people who are saying no kids, are also saying 'me, me me' 'its my day', so i would expect people with that sort of attitude, to feel that you have snubbed then personally, if you dont attend, seeing as you havent cow-towed to their requests, and have put your family first

Flea

i guess i'm a bit more live and let live and judge a little less.... i respect the choice of people to have an immediate family only wedding, excluding many good friends; i repect the choice of venue to be abroad making it difficult for people to attend and i respect the choice of guests to decide whether or not to attend.....

i think the people who are invited as guests and think that all the wedding plans should revolve around them are the problem!

whether or not i think inviting children is what i would choose, it's someone else's day and the amount being inferred from a few words on an invite is just madness to me!